SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

Better Late Then Never

A Brilliant Conflict

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

. . . is the U.S. Army's message urging men to follow the path of least resistance, and remain single as "cannon fodder" (if 90 DAYS OF WONDERING's constant repetition of that cannon song is any clue), instead of contributing to America's gene pool by helping to father the Next Generation. "Pvt. Ralph Phillips'" Little Black Book is depicted by the Army as being moth-eaten here, and his old flames Maisie, Hazel, Janet, Barbara, Linda, Betty, and Marge ALL have allowed civilian guys to mount up and sire a ton of babies while Ralph's only drilling has been on the marching parade grounds. The Army's message appears to be that Family DOESN'T MATTER, since Military Benefits will outstrip civilian compensation (plus Army dudes will NEVER have to spring for diapers!). The Army brags about "Survivor's Benefits" topping its Perks Package, secure in the knowledge that the sort of fellows it wants to "Re-up" won't realize that they'll have to DIE to "earn" Survivor's Benefits! (Perhaps Ralph's Little Bro--shown here wielding a pop-gun--can avoid Boot Camp and use Ralph's Survivor's Benefits to buy diapers after HE passes along HIS genes!) The Army Liars add Ralph's Maximum Monthly Survivor's benefit of $145 to his current monthly pay of $150, implying that Ralph can somehow be ALIVE and NOT ALIVE, and earn BOTH at the same time! After watching WONDERING, viewers will have no trouble understanding the Army's track record since the end of World War Two.

Directed by Chuck Jones and featuring some terrific vocal characterizations by Daws Butler & Mel Blanc, "90 Day Wondering" is a Warner Bros. cartoon that attempts to recruit new men for the United States Armed Forces. Our friend Ralph Phillips is overjoyed about being discharged, only to be convinced in a unique manner that it may benefit him to reenlist.Here are my favorite moments from "90 Day Wondering" (DO NOT read any further if you have not yet seen this cartoon). I absolutely love the fast-paced opening in which Ralph becomes a human tornado as he shouts ecstatically about being discharged, and he seemingly has no difficulty in finding homeward transportation. I also like the single shot of young couples dancing to a jukebox at a hamburger joint. Watch Ralph's hilarious facial expression when he telephones an old girlfriend and hears a little girl's voice saying, "Mommy, a man wants to talk with you." Equally hilarious is the minuscule wisecracker Pete the Civilian's Friend, who jumps up & down on Ralph's shoulder and hysterically shouts at him not to listen to the minuscule recruiting soldier. Milt Franklyn's music score also gives me a chuckle or two, and here are some examples: "The Best Things in Life Are Free" can be heard when the soldier displays a chart of the various complimentary services the army can offer Ralph; "As Time Goes By" for the charts that show retirement pensions; "Ain't She Sweet" for the illustration of a zoot suit for civilian clothing; "Oh, You Beautiful Doll" for the Smoke Kilroys ad; and "Far Above Cayuga's Waters" for the chart showing the amount of college financial aid the army can bestow upon Ralph.

"90 Day Wondering" was created by the Warner Bros animators at Termite Terrace, and it looks and sounds a lot like a typical Loony Toon of the mid-1950s. But this cartoon was commissioned by the United States Air Force, to be shown as an instructional film for servicemen (and servicewomen) who were nearing the end of their enlistments and were about to re-enter civilian life. This cartoon is military propaganda in the true sense of the term, as it was intended to persuade enlisted personnel to re-enlist. However, this was a worthy objective, so I shan't criticise this cartoon's intentions.The title "90 Day Wondering" refers to the fact that a serviceman who leaves the military with an honourable discharge still has 90 days in which he or she can re-enlist without losing rank, seniority or other accrued benefits. There is also a dark side to this (not mentioned in the cartoon): a discharged serviceman is still bound by military law for his first 90 days of civilian life, and can be subject to military arrest if regulations are broken. This rule is in place to discourage any ex-PFC who waits outside the military base, planning to assault his former sergeant. Sad to say, it happens.At the start of "90 Day Wondering", red-headed Ralph Phillips (a name formerly used by Chuck Jones for a little-boy cartoon character) has just been discharged from the Army, and he can't wait to get back to Civvy Street. "I'm a sigh-vilyun!" he shouts. "I'm human again!" But now he learns the downside of civilian life. He phones his old girlfriend, hoping to pick up where he left off ... and discovers she now has a child. He returns to his hometown, visiting the soda shop where he used to hang out: the place is now swarming with bobby-soxers and 1950s teenagers, and Ralph suddenly feels very old (a long beard sprouts on his face instantaneously).The second half of "90 Day Wondering" is a variation on the old routine where the cartoon character has a little cartoon devil on one shoulder and a little cartoon angel on the other shoulder. Here, ex-Private Phillips has a little cartoon civilian companion (in a snappy business suit) who tells Ralph how much more money he can make in Civvy Street. But now here comes a little cartoon soldier, jauntily whistling "The Caissons Go Rolling Along" as he marches smartly along. Using charts and figures, this little guy points out all the benefits that Phillips will get if he re-enlists. Sure, his G.I. salary ain't much ... but he'll get free housing, free clothes, free meals, education, pension plan (unless he gets sent to war and killed first) and so forth. Ralph is convinced ... but his 90 days are about to expire. Zooming as fast as the Road Runner, Ralph rushes back to his Army base, shouting "Re-up! Re-up!" (G.I. slang for "re-enlist"), with his little civilian alter ego right behind him, also planning to enlist."90 Day Wondering" is only slightly funny, but it doesn't try to be hilarious. The animation is nothing special. The cartoon serves its purpose, showing military personnel the advantages of re-enlistment. This cartoon was made during the Cold War, yet makes no mention of that situation ... probably an intentional omission. Made for the peacetime USAF, "90 Day Wondering" isn't nearly as funny (nor as hard-edged) as the "Private Snafu" cartoons made by Warners for the wartime military. For those of us who are "sigh-vilyuns", this cartoon is a mildly interesting curiosity.