So much average

Simply A Masterpiece

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

No one in 1944 if they received the Monogram Daily Star, a four-page tabloid, that was "America's Wide-Awake Newspaper" and was "The First With The Latest." No one needed to pay to see the movie, "Are These Our Parents" either, if they got this well-illustrated edition of the old Morning Star. It begins with the headline..."Scorching Expose of Thrill-Thirsty Adults!", and "Its The Shame Story of Our Time!" Below that is a still of Robin Raymond, legs well crossed, a cigarette in a holder in her left hand, and running her right hand through the mussed-up hair of a more-than-satisfied looking Anthony Warde. The caption reads: "THRILL DATE! Sam Bailey, father of youthful Hal Bailey, caught with unidentified night-club 'hostess'. Bailey merely said: 'What's the difference if I spend a few hours of my time with women, Hal is old enough to take care of himself.' Young Bailey is 17." To the right of that is a still of Richard Byron (young Hal Bailey) getting roughed up by a couple of Monogram cops: "NABBED IN RAID! Shocking neglect on the part of parents leads to shocking scenes like this. Police trap teen-age lawbreaker in raid on notorious roadhouse." Above that is a still of the young and pretty but always pouting Noel Neill and she, pointing her finger: "BLAMES PARENTS! Young and attractive Terry Sailisbury points finger in shame and accuses thrill-crazed adults for conditions which brought about her present predicament. Says Terry: 'Had mother spent even a few spare moments with me I wouldn't have become involved in such a disgrace." The undescribed disgrace is revealed on the inside-page two. And shame on those who thought the future Lois Lane might be with child sans wedlock.The top, half-page still catches the always slick Ivan Lebedeff in a lip-locking embrace with the usual prim-and-proper (until she got cast in this Monogram film) Helen Vinson. And the Monogram Daily Star headline screams: "Love Scandal! This sensational candid camera photo of Mrs. Myra Salisbury, one of society's 'matinee ladies', in the arms of playboy Alexis Dolan was snapped by a Daily Star photographer a few hours before the mystery slaying of Dolan. Police declare this type of revel leads to a crime wave." I'm not surprised. Revel is bad. Any type.Below that is a shot of Lebedeff, with his parted-in-the-middle hair slicked down, a pencil-thin moustache and a sneer that implies "I get the roles Robert Frazer is now too old for." Below that is the caption: "WELL KNOWN PLAYBOY KILLED! Alexis Dolan, well known playboy (yes, you told us that already)and club operator (but we didn't know he had a job)was found dead under mysterious circumstances in his office last night." The suspicion here is that old devil revel caught up to him.Next to that are mug shots of Richard Byron and Noel Neill, and she is really pouting in this one, and with good cause: "YOUNG LOVERS WANTED! Sought by police,today, for questioning in the mysterious killing of night club owner, Alexis Dolan (they forgot to mention he was also a playboy, or used to be anyway)are Hal Bailey and Terry Salisbury, who are believed to be in hiding on the outskirts of town." No need of excitement about the "young lovers" identification, either. Lois Lane ain't giving up anything to a nerd like Richard Byron. She just lets him hang around until she gets a driver's license.Not content with the damage he has already done to the reputation of one of the town's leading "matinee ladies", Monogram's candid cameraman sullies the name of Myra Salisbury even further by catching her toasting Lyle Talbot with a martini glass, and Lyle is grinning broadly while thinking of future developments, especially after he gets wind of the caption on this still:"Bored Mother Enjoys Secret Love Kisses & Cocktails." Dang, don't everybody? On his way back to the paper, Monogram's super snooper photographer gets a shot of a female holding a cannon-sized revolver, and the Daily Star runs this as: MYSTERY GIRL! Do You know her? She is sought for murder. If you recognize her notify Police immediately. Description: approximately 5 feet, two inches tall, blonde hair and blue eyes." It would appear that the Daily Star could use a copy editor who would have cut the description down to simply, "Five feet two, eyes of blue" and put it to music.Do we know who she is? Certainly we do, but we ain't telling.