The Worst Film Ever

just watch it!

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

I caught this one on Netflix under the title BEAST OF BERING SEA. It's a typical Asylum movie, very similar in fact to JAWS, except replacing the great white with some made-up sea vampires that have their own bit of folklore surrounding them. Said sea vampires have wing-like appendages which they envelope their prey with before sucking them dry. It looks like a lot like Dracula enfolding a victim in his cape. There's also a chestburster scene copied from ALIEN.As an Asylum film, this is very low budget with a tongue-in-cheek script and humour that doesn't really work. The CGI is bad, but not the worst I've seen. Actors dragging their reputations through the mud include veteran TV star Kevin Dobson as well as STUART LITTLE's Jonathan Lipnicki, all grown up and then some.

This is one of the worst, made for TV movies ever. It has a truly terrible plot, acting, effects, logic, the lot. But they do kill the Bad guys with Grow Lights and so for that reason alone its worth a giggle. Go to the final 3rd of the film to save wasting your life. But only if you are a pot head. Astonishingly bored. Have lost the will to live. Have no life. Have no friends. And have nothing else in your life other than breath and eyes. Which you may well want to pluck out using rusty vinegar dipped spoons after watching this. You have been warned. so if you do watch this think very very carefully, can I really afford to throw away precious hours that I will truly regret losing immediately I start watching this drivel? Because the only way this could even become a cult film is for its terribleness, if people watch it out of sheer bloody mindedness to want to watch their own lives sap away before their own desperate eyes. Do yourself a favour and pick another film even that film you really can't stand it would be better than a moment wasted watching this dire pile of dung. Just don't do it.

A rather lame movie, but it does have bright spots and it is a long way from SyFy's worst. Most of the acting is decent, especially from Jonathan Lipnicki(such a cute child star he was) who gives an earnest performance and the attractive Cassie Scerbo. The scenery is nice too with some competent photography(with exceptions) and the ending has some exciting action. There is a lot wrong with Bering Sea Beast, the biggest problem being the special effects, atrocious is a good word. The sea vampires look more like garbage-bin-bags with teeth and bat-wings, and aside from how they look they are also without personality or menace, you actually cannot take them seriously. Their attacks are not suspenseful or tense in the slightest, more veering between unintentionally comical, and suffer from some sloppy and rushed editing. The music plays too much of a dirge in places and is very generic stuff complete with unconvincing and at times bizarre sound effects and mixing. Bering Sea Beast is very badly written, the dialogue just reeks of cheese apart from the odd moment of snappy banter, at the beginning there are some laughs but later on it is very grating, while the characters are stereotypical caricatures and nothing more. Especially the villain, who had a subplot that was clichéd and out of place, and the over-compensated way he was played was the chief exception to the "decent acting" plus-point earlier mentioned. The story ends on an exciting note but much of it was dull and far too ridiculous to be taken at face value, sense of terror, tension, fun, thrills, suspense and even logic are almost completely thrown out of the window. There is some fun scattered here and there but too much of it is tiresome and grating, overall while SyFy have done much worse Bering Sea Beast was rather lame. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Another laughable attempt at a movie from the SyFy channel. I hope they will eventually learn that it is better to put 2-3 bad movies worth of production costs into just one good movie. The guy that digs in the sand pile and gets attacked by the baby sea vampire, who doesn't go to the place of the pain? Where were his hands after the attack?? Of course there is the naturalist who is also an apologist for the killer beasts, saying to leave the beasts alone. Guess what? It don't work that way. There is the stereotypical greedy asshole who won't stop at anything to gain control of a claim and the good guys boat. The brother is a back stabbing piece of garbage. When the animals are lured in to the harbor for slaughter it just doesn't work out that well. Many are killed but not all. Several humans are drained including the head bad guy. The special effects used to make the creatures is another poor effort. With the state of CGI now that is inexcusable, even with a limited budget. This movie just sucks.