Boring, long, and too preachy.

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Because of a prank, An obese chick enter a beauty queen contest. The other contestants hate her because she is obese and geek and start making her life a torture. Them they froze her cat in a microwave (?). After this, the fat lady start killing them. The plot sounds much better than the movie, its two hours long, no budget, boring and features no blood or gore. Beauty queen butcher can be described as "a good way to SUICIDE two hours of your life". I still cant believe that a movie of this kind runs for two hours long! This is the kind of stuff you fast forward to the killings, to see the blood and gore, and this one doesn't feature any gore or blood.

"Beauty Queen Butcher" is a rather cheap and incredibly unspectacular slasher.**SPOILERS**Receiving a strange letter, Phyliss Loden, (Rhona Brody) an overweight teen at a Texas high-school, sees that it's for an entry into a beauty contest to be held in town. Along with her only friend Cameron 'Fishpod' Owens, (Steve Kollin) she decides to enter it as a sort of self-esteem boost. Getting to the event, hosted by Betty Prunish, (Jim Boggess) she finds that the only other entrants are the local group of cheerleaders, Muffy Fairlane, (Kathryn A. Mensik) Alison Murphy, (Kimberly Ann Kurtenbach) Shelley Styles, (Laura Schutter) and Elizabeth McKay, (Tammy Pescatelli) and have rigged it for her to be humiliated at the contest. Seeking revenge, she goes on a rampage to knock off the other contestants, leading them to try to get away before she completes her mission.The Good News: This one isn't terrible, but it only has a few good moments in it. The fact that film has a lot of fun cheesiness and comedy is something. The sight of seeing these kinds of tricks pulled during the contest offer up some fun to be had, and there's plenty of cheesy charm to be had with the overall plot. It's also surprisingly watchable for such a film, never really getting to the point of it needed to be fast-forwarded to get to other parts and all the drama and comedy featured in the pageant are surprisingly watchable. It's not something that a slasher fanatic will want to see, but it is something that will certainly be for those who enjoy the corny humor to get a real kick out of. The last feature is the entertaining last half of the film. This is where the killings occur, and therefore it automatically means fun as the title of the film comes into play and there's some really big fun to be had when there's slashing going on. Otherwise, these are all of the film's good points.The Bad News: This is a really underwhelming slasher with a few good points about it. The big one is that it takes way too long to get going. The fact that it's just about a full two-hours to get through the whole film is just too much to take at times. Even worse is that the first half, which is literally the first hour of the film, is taken up with the beauty contest and their gags to get back at her. While these are watchable, they are so far from what a slasher fan wants in a specific film and instead it just becomes a never-ending series of scenes that take away from what the film should be about rather than just the second half. That there's no kills or gore in here makes it another slap down. They're restricted to the second hour of the film, yet even still there's hardly any of them. The four kills that are done in the film are so boring and clichéd that they provide nothing of substance anyway, let alone any kind of gore whatsoever and are done with nothing that would signify they were done with interest or excitement at all. They're really lame and do nothing for the viewer to get them into it, and by having so few so far into the film to begin with, they're just all around bad. The fact that it's too cheap gives it the last big flaw. The film is really only comprised of those listed, making it feel really small and with the really lame kills and setting this one has, there's no feeling that this one has anything really big or grand going for it. These here are what really keep the film down.The Final Verdict: A rather fun, cheesy film, this one suffers mainly from a disturbing lack of anything going on for the first half of the film, and that it's just way too long to begin with. Only for the shot-on-video fans, as while it's watchable, they're the only ones who will find this one any good.Rated R: Violence and Language

Sweet, but fat, shy and homely teenager Phyllis Loden (an endearingly gawky performance by Rhona Brody) gets entered into a high school beauty pageant by a quartet of nasty girls. Phyllis not only loses the pageant, but also gets ruthlessly picked on and publicly humiliated by the other more pretty and popular participants. Worse yet, her cruel competitors even kill Loden's beloved cat by sticking the cute little kitty in a microwave oven! Phyllis exacts a harsh revenge by killing the evil and venomous bitches. Director/co-writer Jill Zurborg concocts an entertaining black farce that's greatly enlivened by an appealingly giddy sense of dark humor, a reasonable smidgen of gore, outrageously broad characters, and a catchy soundtrack. Moreover, the enthusiastic acting from a game no-name cast qualifies as a major plus, with especially stand-out turns by Kathryn A. Mensik as the vicious, stuck-up Muffy Fairlane, Steve Kollin as Loden's nerdy bespectacled sole friend Cameron, Tammy Pescatelli as the snarky Elizabeth McKay, Jim Boggess as snooty pageant chairwoman Betty Prunish, Kimberly Ann Kurtenbach as the vacuous Alison Murphy, Laura Schutter as the antsy Shelley Styles, Matthew Speak as jerky jock Paul Whitewater, and Peter Soderberg as dogged private detective Dick Richards. Jeff Carney's competent cinematography and Dana P. Rowe's bouncy score are both up to speed. Granted, at almost two hours this movie does drag quite a bit here and there, but overall it's a funny and enjoyable romp.

There's a lot to gripe about in Beauty Queen Butcher. It's shot on video and looks it. The characters are two dimensional and over the top. The soundtrack at times reeks of a 1980's infomercial. But at the same time, I just can't deny liking the movie. It's made "just" well enough to keep you watching. I smiled, a lot. It's pure camp, and I would venture to say the filmmakers knew it. Ultimately, it plays out like a zero budget Carrie with some so bad it's good bits of acting. Of the Camp Motion Picture releases thus far, I can honestly say I enjoyed this one the most. Whether or not you chose to rent it all determines on one question. Do you enjoy cult movies? I do, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.