Just so...so bad

One of the best movies of the year! Incredible from the beginning to the end.

Yes, absolutely, there is fun to be had, as well as many, many things to go boom, all amid an atmospheric urban jungle.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

I try not to include spoilers, but always check the "spoiler" box in case I slip up. While this might be considered a spoiler, the only thing that they didn't really %^&* up in this movie was giving Rhona Mitra a penis. And there may be a director's cut out there where they have done that. I like Christopher Lambert. He's hardly Olivier, but his movies are generally good quality B flicks. Nope, not this one. Basically we've died Connor McLeod's hair white and given him a seemingly unlimited number of hand-held crossbows and a few other weapons, including what appears to be a sword that throws the wheels from a 1970's Spirograph. And there was eye candy--Rhona Mitra, always gorgeous, bounced around in a push-up bra and shoulder-less shirt quite often, and Grendel's mother was smoking hot. But Lambert and the ladies could not save this. The supporting acting is awful. The castle that has no electricity but somehow has a speaker system is confusing. The soundtrack could have gone the techno route or could have gone the sixth century sword and sorcery movie route. Instead, they tried to do both. It's not the worst movie out there, and if it is one and I am too drunk to figure out how to use the remote control, I'll watch it again, but I can't really recommend it too highly.

The film with Christopher Lambert as Beowulf is even a "love it" or "hate it" film. So I'm going to place myself between those two, just for being opposing. But the truth is that I actually enjoyed the film for what it was. Christopher Lambert has never been a favourite actor of mine, mostly because of his trying-to-be-cool look, which I never have been able to take serious. And his role as Beowulf is not helping on my opinion about this, and he even has white hair...'Beowulf' is based on the ancient legend by the same name, which is about the hero Beowulf coming to the land of Danes (Yahoo!) to fight evil. It is written in ancient English in the year 1.100, and now comes the movie.So, if you are able to summon lot of bad acting, smart action, bad one-liners, distorted rock music and cheesy special effects, you have an action movie - with Chrisopher Lambert. But 'Beowulf' ends up being a mostly enjoyable film anyway ,looking very 80'-ish and having a lot of unintentionally funny moments.This film is, if anything, perfect at a DVD night with the guys.

OK the intro of the movie is a rip off of the one from the Mortal Kombat films (giant disk except instead of fire and a dragon its purple with a silhouette of Beowulf). This movie was so bad I was laughing at its sheer silliness and bad acting. Its basically in a stupid techno blah blah future about a guy, who we have no freaking clue about AT ALL HE'S JUST THERE, who decides to randomly go into a cursed castle (which has people living in it?)and fight a demon named Grendel, Now the castle's population is slowly going down (I'm guessing this was a plot device used because even the extras got tired of being in it), strange if you're in a castle whose population is being mutilated by a monster WHY WOULD YOU STAY? oh yeah because if they go outside the armada there would rape you, but hey its a semi-post-apocalyptic future right? So yeah the Princess is a stripper who's only weapon is a prison shank (wtf?) and all the soldiers suck at fighting (wow) except the captain who is a macho stereotype (think of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast)who also get gutted by the demon (wait its a demon?). Lambert is a terrible actor in this and I swear I can see the cables that make his jumps and flips possible in EVERY scene. Maybe the Director and Producer were really Stoned one night on crack, pot, and meth and they happened to be reading Beowulf while listening to techno and decided to make this abomination of literature. I personally found this movie funny and consider it a torture device to get P.O.W. to talk because the sheer silliness of it is enough to make you die of laughter. oh yeah Grendel's mom is a porn star, maybe thats why he looks like a leper with like 2,000 STDs. the CG in this movie makes Final Fantasy VII and the first 3 Resident Evil games look next-gen

Whoever made the film wanted it to be set up as a Fantasy Movie. I think Christopher Lambert is actually quite talented for an actor. The action in this movie was terrific. It is very much like Blood of Beasts. Unlike most movies, at least mostly everything took place in a castle and not on a battlefield. Most dark age movies tend to be going for the "Battlefield" stage. That is why this movie is unique, plus, the special effects and stunts. There a few technical things that weren't from the dark age, but that's the only thing I didn't like about it. Everything else was good, that's why I give it an 8. I've seen a hell of a lot worse movies, many.