Let's be realistic.

A Brilliant Conflict

Mostly, the movie is committed to the value of a good time.

Yes, absolutely, there is fun to be had, as well as many, many things to go boom, all amid an atmospheric urban jungle.

BLOOD OATH is a shot on video indie slasher flick that was put out by Troma, and that comes as no surprise given the poor quality of the production. The cliched story has a bunch of friends heading off into the woods for a bit of fun, to find only death awaiting them instead. There are small roles for scream queens Tina Krause and Tiffany Shepis, but this is generally devoid of interest. A bit of titillation and a bit of gore are the only draws here.

Here's yet another zero budget shot-on-digital backwoods slasher made by amateurs, this time from around the Nashville, Tennessee area. When watching movies made for peanuts I try to be a bit more lenient and forgiving than usual when it comes to poor camera-work, ragged editing, muffled sound, amateurish acting, awful writing, etc. What I can't forgive is a complete and utter lack of creativity. After all, why bother watching something like this in the first place if you've already seen the same exact thing done before by professionals who actually had a budget and talent to work with? BLOOD OATH fails simply because it doesn't do anything that hasn't already been done ten times better elsewhere. The fact it's flatly shot and ugly to look at, horribly acted and written and establishes a potentially interesting back story for the killer but then tosses it aside like an afterthought so it can concentrate on business as usual just makes matters worse. But hey, I'm sure everyone had fun making it and at least they managed to get their movie released on DVD, so at least that's something.Things start out with a couple getting ready to have sex in a car out in the woods only to be interrupted by the guy's ex-girlfriend, who keeps calling him. The girl grabs the phone and tells the ex that all her man cares about is "...how hard his d*** is gonna be when he's f***ing me in the a**" before a killer shows up and does them both in. The girl is gutted and the guy has his head chopped off in what has to be one of the worst and most cartoonish CGI decapitations ever. We then meet two teen couples; Lisa (Natalie Hart) and Kevin (James Reynolds) and Beverly (Katie Vaughan) and Charlie (Roger Horn), who for some reason decide to investigate a local urban legend about a disfigured killer who supposedly lives in a cabin in the woods and pretty much get what they deserve in the process. Throw in a quartet of female college student campers who are around solely to provide a little T&A and then die and that's about all there is to this one.The only other point of note is that they attempt to develop a mythology of sorts for the killer, which involves a couple making a pact with a beautiful witch, a set of female twins, a car crash, a magical "jewel- encrusted golden vial" and blood sacrifices. Unfortunately, after this story is related via flashbacks around a campfire, nothing further is done with the idea and this instead opts to play out like every other tired, generic slasher-in-the-woods flick. The killer; a hulking, fire- scarred, shaggy-haired woman (well... sort of) decked out in a patchwork dress, isn't the least bit scary or intimidating. Her motives for killing everyone she comes across also aren't made all that clear. Her parents made a "blood oath" and died as a result, but why exactly does she now need to make blood sacrifices? None of this is adequately fleshed out, which renders the killer's origin element utterly pointless. Ditto for the ridiculous reveal that one of the lead females is - surprise! - related to the killer and just happens to be there by sheer coincidence.The names being used to sell this are Scream Queens Tiffany Shepis and Tina Krause. Both keep their clothes on and are killed after appearing for just a matter of minutes, but are being billed as the stars on the DVD cover. Don't be fooled. The rest of the cast is comprised of inexperienced amateurs who stand no chance of making it through looking good thanks to the awkward and unnatural-sounding dialogue they're forced to recite. A few of them have hick accents though, so at least that was funny.

Four friends venture into the remote deep forest to check out an old cabin. Naturally, the quartet run afoul of a vicious disfigured mad woman (a frightening portrayal by Patrick Holt) who doesn't take kindly to strangers poking around her neck of the woods. A familiar story for sure, but fortunately director David Buchert relates the enjoyable plot at a steady pace, makes good use of the secluded sylvan setting, pours on the in-your-face graphic gore with unapologetic aplomb, creates and sustains a suitably creepy atmosphere, generates a substantial amount of tension in the nerve-wracking last third, and even tosses in a few tasty naked boobies for good measure. The acceptable acting from the competent no-name cast rates as another definite plus, with solid work by Natalie Hart as the sweet Lisa, Roger Horn as the likable Charlie, Jamie Reynolds as the easygoing Kevin, and Katie Vaughan as the spunky Beverly. The startling outbursts of savage violence pack a really nasty punch. Popping up in nifty bits are Tiffany Shepis as the sassy Janet and Tina Krause as flaky college student Jennifer. William Sherry Jr.'s dynamic shuddery score hits the skin-crawling ooga-booga spot. Matthew Dyer's rough'n'grainy cinematography gives the picture an appropriately grungy look. A fun fright flick.

Normally I'm all about cheesy B horror, but after watching this movie I may have to rethink that. The plot is just ridiculous. What's really sad is that it HAD potential. The story of the couple and the babies could have really been creepy. But it was ruined by the bad wardrobe and the crazy wig of the 'mysterious lady', not to mention the fact that there's no real reason given for her visit or just why the first blood sacrifice had to be made...let alone the other blood sacrifices. Add to that the utter stupidity of having the one girl suddenly and randomly divulge that she is in fact the daughter of one of the twins. And don't even get me started on how bad the actors are. There was WAY too much filler and WAY too many holes for my liking. Who was the mysterious lady? Why was Amanda killing all these people anyway? What exactly was she getting out of the blood sacrifices (and what did the parents get out of the initial one besides dead crops)? If her sister was adopted out after the crash, why wasn't Amanda and why and how did she go back to the house anyway? And WTF was up with the penis she has in the one scene toward the end????? I didn't get that AT ALL. Bottom line: I'll never get back that hour and a half of my life. Don't waste your time.