Please don't spend money on this.
It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.
View Moreif their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.
View MoreThe movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.
View MoreSo 1st off and most importantly, Cheerleader Autopsy is a cool title that does not live up to it's name at all.You have a couple of cute cheerleaders in the film and only one of them gets naked, then the cheerleader part of the movie ends swiftly.I was expecting more scenes of hot girls getting cut up, but it was not even that. Sure, some of the Autopsy stuff is fun, even laugh out loud at some points, but not enough to sustain the entire movie.The film uses really cheesy dolls as cadavers and ironic only one of these dolls is shaped like a woman, in a movie celled Cheerleader Autopsy.I'll give them credit for luring me in with a title that's false advertising.A lot of other things suck about this movie, but let's stick with the fact that the movie's title seems to promise hot girls being cut up and it did not or could not deliver.http://cinemagardens.com
View MoreJust what are you expecting from your cheerleaders? If you go into this expecting more than a B-Movie romp, then you're an idiot. Seriously. This movie is what happens when you mix stereotypical rednecks, nubile Beavers and a drunk old man with a hand gun. Yes, something IS going to happen... and it WON'T be pretty! Add in the local mortician with Alzheimer's (who doubles as the sheriff and sells usable corpses off to the local dog-food factory), his college-flunky nephew assistant, who isn't bothered by the thoughts of a bit of necrophilia and the young janitor (who has a back-story all his own) and you have a movie! As his uncle says, "If they don't say "no"... and they usually don't, then consider that a "yes".SPOILER ALERT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! The real action starts when the Beavers get ran over by their own bus, leaving one survivor, who is mistakenly sent to the morgue along with the others.Enter, the assistant's rival for this Beaver- the janitor- who seems to have a secret room of his own in the morgue. Apparently, he gives himself an "upgrade" in the manhood department, thanks to one of the male corpses- and he's ready to swing! Enter, the one surviving Beaver. The horny assistant won't let his uncle kill her for dog-food. The uncle dies in the ensuing fight.Despite missing part of her face, sporting an arm burnt to a crisp and having two stumps for legs- the young assistant finds her attractive enough for a quickie after he "cleans her up" a bit. And (in true Beaver fashion) she doesn't say, "no".Afterwards, while cremating his uncle, her body disappears- setting up the confrontation between the assistant and the body-snatching janitor- who's busy trying to "upgrade" her a bit, as well. Who will win? And better yet- WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE ENDING?!?!? The quick end made NO sense and is the downfall of this, otherwise fairly entertaining, flick.As expected, it's a low-budget flick, but that helps to add some laughs when it comes to the "special" effects. Sound and production are decent enough (not the best sound on the bus), acting performances passable (obviously, no awards handed out here) and the script has some fair sophomoric chuckles- but DEFINITE problems with the continuity. Overall, I think it's worthy of a view for a B-Movie fan who doesn't expect much going in. Not a B-Movie fan? Then why are you even considering watching this? In the meanwhile, I'll continue to look for those hidden diamonds in the rough. This one? A fine chunk of cubic zirconium, which shatters at the end.
View MoreI'm a big fan of movies that are so bad they're good. You know... Hatchet, Thankskilling, and the like. This one is one of the best I've seen. The movie doesn't even try to be good. Because of this, it is hilarious and entertaining. Rubber dolls are not lifelike, blood is faker than ketchup, actors are extremely over-the-top, and I can do better camera-work with my iPhone. This may sound like a 1-star review, and to people who want a serious movie, 1 star would actually be too much. To you and the other drunken people that feel like laughing at something stupid, this is definitely worth a watch. Enjoy!!
View MoreHey, you know your stupid friend that's always running around with the video camera? You know, the guy who thinks he's hilarious but in reality is just an unfunny jackass that nobody has the heart to tell how much his movies suck? Well guess what? Because you couldn't man up and tell him to abandon his moronic dream of being a filmmaker, I had to sit through 'Cheerleader Autopsy.' I know, you thought the trashy cheerleaders would make for a fun sex-romp comedy, but remember that part where they died in the beginning and you didn't see a single breast for the next hour? That was your fault.You could've stopped this. It didn't have to be this way. But you had to be the nice guy, didn't you? People like you are responsible for all the world's tragedies. I bet Hitler had a friend just like you--somebody who could've said, "Hey Adolf, give this painter thing another chance, don't go into politics" but didn't. Yeah, you belong in the same circle of Hell as THAT guy.No, I don't know if God will forgive you.Please stop crying. There really isn't any way you'd know what would be loosed upon the world by your inaction. But there is a way you can make up for it. 'Cheerleader Autopsy 2' is in preproduction. There's still time to grab whoever is responsible for this horror (the intellectual kind, not the genre), rip the camera from his hands and plead with him PLEAD! for him to go back to shooting wedding videos instead.You have your mission. Now you must go. Me? Oh, don't worry, I won't leave you ... I'll be around ... lest we forget.
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