Am I Missing Something?

A bit overrated, but still an amazing film

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

It is interesting even when nothing much happens, which is for most of its 3-hour running time. Read full review

So we've had basic plot idea number one: family killed, take revenge. This sequel goes with basic plot number two: given quest by ruler to find something, but its a trick...yes I just blew a huge spoiler so sue me.Yep, the rather devious and clearly untrustworthy Queen Taramis asks Conan to go off and find a sacred object so she can awaken a God, hmmm I smell something fishy. So Conan agrees because the evil Queen says she will resurrect his lover from the first film Valeria if he succeeds, oh come on Conan don't be dumb! Did I mention this was all a big trick by the naughty Queen?The main draw here is the cast really, Arnie's team are a much more interesting group this time with the insane Grace Jones, annoyingly crap acting of Tracy Walter, Mako back as the obligatory team wizard, d'Abo as the young virginal Princess and ex basketball star Wilt Chamberlain, a very colourful bunch. They are all up against the gorgeous and stunning Sarah Douglas who as usual is doing what she does best, being a sexy evil villainous bitch, oh my!The main problem with this sequel despite its better looks, fancy titles, a bigger Arnie and overall slightly sexier production values, is the fact it was watered down. The film aims for more comedy, slapstick and visual buffoonery over blood n violence, nothing wrong with this I guess but for me its a thumbs down. The first film was more adult and gave the film a grittier nastier feel, this just feels like a kids adventure at times. Even with Basil Poledouris booming musical score (first films sounded like 'Total Recall', this sounds like its been extracted from 'Robocop') it doesn't make much difference.I must admit to enjoying these films much more when I was but a mere sprogling. The fact its Arnie in the main role as Conan saves the film from doom in my opinion as there isn't too much more on offer. There isn't much action of note, not much blood, set pieces are drab and the adventure a bit dull, the only thing to lift you is the nice monster sequence at the end (head looks a bit like the Brundlefly creature from the Cronenberg film). That and Sarah Douglas being all sexy n evil (oh my Queen!), for me these films haven't aged so well and I still prefer 'The Beastmaster'.4/10

Mildly entertaining but ultimately underwhelming successor to the superior Conan the Barbarian (1982). The strong but silent warrior returns to the big screen as he is tasked by a ruthless queen to escort her young and beautiful niece to a faraway magic castle to find a jewel that can awaken the sleeping god, Dagoth, she worships. Together with a ragtag band of fellow warriors, Conan fights marauders, sorcery and demons along the way, while the princess falls in love with him. Little do both know she is destined to be a human sacrifice to the monstrous god, and there are those in the warriors' ranks who must ensure the girl will fulfill that destiny, even if it means killing Conan in the process. Though there's more intrigue in the story compared to its predecessor, it often gets in the way of the plan simple action people will expect from this film, while a PG rating, ill suited to the material (Barbarian was rated R after all), further restricts the fighting to such an extent it never gets beyond childish and mediocre. The effects are also not on par with the first film, though they still make for a decent dreamy level of quality that contributes to the overall sense of fantasy. Noted science fiction and fantasy director Richard Fleischer (20000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954), Fantastic Voyage (1966), Soylent Green (1973)) has been known to produce better fare than this, though it remains an interesting entry in his oeuvre. A third movie, which could have undone the flaws of this film, unfortunately never got beyond the planning stages of production. In order to still get his dose of fantasy acting, Schwarzenegger opted for a supporting role in the suspiciously similar Red Sonja the following year, ironically enough also directed by Fleischer.

Obvious its not, because it was made for kids. So cheesy its almost not worth watching. They got it on TV now. Conan the Barbarian was awesome compared to this one. Who ever thought this would be a hit switching the rating lower for a wider audience is stupid. They do it all the time for horror movies, and that is why a lot of horror movies suck, is the PG-13 rating. Good luck directors that keep doing it that way.Then there is not enough lines here to submit the review. That is stupid. There is nothing much good about this movie to say, unless I am under 13 years of age, which I am not. These people that make movies need to realize that kids are not the only people in this world. Just because they are the future, which the future is looking worse anyways. No need to worry about it since it will end eventually anyways.

I never was much a fan of the original film "Conan the Barbarian", but director Richard Fleischer's ramshackle sequel while not as epic or grand in structure somewhat appealed to me more. In a way it was a lot more enjoyable with fewer pretensions. I guess it was more so the fantasy angle of its story (magic & sorcery), amusing side-characters (which I can see why some find these ragtag characters led by Tracy Walter irritating) and it seemed to flow much better. However while I found the pacing not to be as stodgy… it just lacked the episodic adventures with its straight-forward story-telling and obvious plotting. Therefore it felt rushed and in the end doesn't really build up to much. Save from a couple of set-pieces of Conan taking on a wizard or two and then finally a mythical beast. Although gotta love the use of the practical special effects and make-up FX. You know rubber monster designs, smoke effects and blatant, if colourful set-designs. No illusions here. Then there's the carnage, and just like "Barbarian", "Destroyer" doesn't skip out on the blood and gore that Conan's sword unleashes. Arnold Schwarzenegger in his signature role plays Conan like his on cruise control. Mixing combat and humour with very little effort. He was born for the part. The support cast had some names with Mako the other only cast member to return. Wilt Chamberlain, Sarah Douglas, Olivia d'Abo and a very animalistic Grace Jones make up a strong line-up. Clunky, but fun 80s sword and sorcery pulp."Thief's should be hanged."