Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.

Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

It's a movie as timely as it is provocative and amazingly, for much of its running time, it is weirdly funny.

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

here is my question: Why do clowns always get a bad rap in horror movies.I'm now 3 for 3. Fun Park, Tormanted and now Dead Clowns. I've yet to see a good Clown horror movie that doesn't look like it cost $5.00 to make. I'm pretty sure both Brinke and Debbie split $2.50 between each other and bought a taco after filming.LOL! The premise goes as follows. A train wreck filled with Circus personal falls off a bridge during one of the town's most devastating hurricanes ever. The cab where the clowns resided is never recovered and thought to be lost underwater. Some years later ,the clowns rise form the dead and go on a killing spree throughout the town on a really bad stormy night. Great idea and the clowns themselves don't look half bad. Aside from the spotless and may I add;very dry clown suits, they actually resemble Zombie clowns. Actually even taking a history page from Lucio Fulci's Italian zombies. Sounds like the ingredients for a pretty decent horror film ,right? Wrong. Dead wrong!Here is the thing, you cast two scream queens like Debbie Rochon and Brinke Strevens and you expect at least some screaming. I've never seen the actresses so uninterested in acting as this time around. At least Brinke gets to tell the premise of the story and dies in the first half hour. Debbie doesn't even get one line. Not even a character name. She is billed as tormented woman and spends half the movie under the stairs.The rest of the cast is just thrown in for story sake. Four synchronized story lines to be exact. Brinke and her husband, Debbie, wheelchair guy , druggie security guard and fugitive couple who have just killed a priest or something.Al four stories are are totally inane and ridiculous. Not one of the actors shows and emotion or horror as they are chased around their houses by Zombie Clowns. It's almost as if they are playing hide go seek with their nephews. Did I mention that 3 out of the four story lines don't even contain dialog. This would make Tarrantino throw up.LOL! The one good thing is the gore. I've seen reviews complaining about little to no gore, but the version I watched had some pretty gory scenes. Cheesy, but gory. One of the victims provides a ten minute buffet for the Clowns. Again done in Italian Fulci fashion with a little Ruggero Deadoto cannibalism thrown in. This saves the movie from total abomination, but still could have been so much much better.Final thoughts. Directors and producers, don't be afraid to spend a little when making a horror movie. Lighting, sound, script and for Pete's sake a little dialog, especially when you manage to cast Debbie Rochon in your flick. She is a certified SCream Queen!

Jesus Freak ME Christ.. How freakin gay can you get? I mean really.. This other a-hole wrote on here that this film was "GREAT FOR THE BUDGET HE HAD!!" what was the freakin budget, $1.50?!? Seeing my grandma naked in the shower is more terrifying than this piece of poop. Anyone who has a problem with what I just said, or whoever wants to question my criticism, go buy a bag full of male genetalia, eat them, then choke and die. Don't freakin watch this malarkey it sucks. And the one star I gave, this freakin piece of dookie doesn't even deserve it. I just put that because there was nothing lower. Screw this movie, IN THE BUNG HOLE! Now I have to pretend to write more freakin text about this movie.. but it sucks. There's not enough gayness in the world to be able to describe this stupid freakin movie in 10 lines. Except the fact that I'm seriously thinking of suing the people that made this movie for mental anguish. THIS SUCKED! BOO!

I'm a big zombie/horror movie fan. Not a huge buff... not obsessed... but I thoroughly enjoy the violence, blood, gore, death scenes, screams, etc. Demented much? Anyway, so I was checking out the horror movie On Demand list and we chose Dead Clowns. Read the little description, thought it would be corny as hell, but fun to watch... like most horror movies now-a-days. I'm sipping a beer and my two year old daughter isn't even scared of this movie. It's just laughable. If the actors were half-way convincing it would have been so much better. Even tolerable. And the Security Guard at the movie theater? Come on, man. If that little "Emo" douche bag can't lift a fifty pound board off of his body, why the hell is he allowed to go into the theater alone at night to make sure everyone is out of there and lock up the place? He snorts sugar for god's sake. At least the clown did him a favor and cut his arm for him. Hahaha. I just wish the clown could have crawled through my t.v. and cut out my eyeballs.

There will be times in a movie collectors life, when he or she will purchase a movie based solely on hype alone, or maybe just mere whispers that they might have heard through the grapevine.Such was the case with Steve Sessions latest movie "Dead Clowns" now if you ever visited the web site dedicated to David Decoteau, run by Eric Spudic, the man himself has never been been short of mentioning his own movies within the said site. This was were i spotted the possible potential behind the movie itself, i believe if memory serves, Spudic served up a still of himself playing a character confined to a wheelchair, Anyway, the title alone should sell the movie. Remember movies like "Killers Klowns From Outer Space" or even "Clownhouse" Two very different movies with varying approaches to both mood and style with perhaps a dash of wit and menace thrown in for good measure.Alas, "Dead Clowns" Presents nothing of any of those qualities. Perhaps Budgetary constraints, i guess we'll never know. However if you borrow the basic premise from John Carpenter's "The Fog" of course putting putting your own unique spin on it. You would expect to gage some sort of entertainment value from the proceedings, do anyone remember the movie "Vulgar" made by people who should have known better.One things for sure though, for marquee value if nothing else, Sessions does know how to fill his movie, with the likes of Debbie Rochon and Brinke Stevens being his main two stars. Actually come to think of it, they were the only two stars. Utilising Brinke Stevens to tell the grisly story of how the Dead Clowns came to be fifty years previous, always a good plot devise, when you obviously don't have the money to show it.As the the Dead Clowns themselves, a motley crew at best, wearing what clowns should wear, although bearing a very striking resemblance to the zombie's within Lucio Fulci's Zombie, The movie was just too dark, so dark you'd need a flashlight to watch it, even in this Unrated version courtesy of a Company called Crypt Keeper, the gore was obscured by the need of the director feeling like he wanted to prolong proceedings.The version i purchased came in at 111 Minutes. Too long, very uninvolving, a very nice idea, however poorly executed. Perhaps in the hands of someone with a keen eye, and a sharper imagination, Dead Clowns could really have been something, instead, it's just another movie trying to cash in and make out, failing badly.Dead Clowns! Dead and Buried! and that's that.