Too many fans seem to be blown away

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

A Disappointing Continuation

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

Copyright 1957. A Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer picture. New York opening at the Radio City Music Hall: 14 November 1957. U.K. release: 17 March 1958. Australian release: 23 December 1957. 109 minutes. SYNOPSIS: Armed only with typewriters and vivid imaginations, public relations men tell the world about the U.S. Navy during WW2. Unfortunately, their plans to present a genuine naval hero to the public hit a snag when they discover he is a foul-mouthed idiot.NOTES: Despite the best efforts of a talented roster of players, William Brinkley's best-selling autobiography is neither as funny nor as convincing on-screen as it was in print. Partly to blame is the studio's decision to abandon the autobiographical slant of the book and even give Brinkley himself a new name. Another boner was to supply a tepid love interest. COMMENT: This is the film that catapulted minor character player Mickey Shaughnessy to a brief period of super-stardom opposite such lights as Elvis Presley and Cornel Wilde. Certainly his scenes are by far the funniest and most cleverly handled in the whole movie. The rest of this otherwise mild curry was given another brief dash of spice by Eva Gabor (though not enough to outshine Mr. Shaughnessy). Gia Scala, alas, makes a somewhat colorless heroine. Flat direction from Charles Walters doesn't help either.

On a picturesque South Pacific island, during World War II, a US Navy base handles public relations. Unmarried star lieutenant Glenn Ford (as Max Siegel) takes visiting congressmen on a tour. Beautiful native schoolteacher Gia Scala (as Melora Alba) catches his eye. Enlisted sailor Earl Holliman (as Adam Garrett) likes the way pretty perfumed Anne Francis (as Alice Tomlen) "crosses her legs." Laidback young Russ Tamblyn (as Tyson) doesn't like washing teen-spirited sheets for war reporter Keenan Wynn (as Gordon Ripwell). Comic commander Fred Clark (as Clinton "Marblehead" Nash) is in charge. If you stick around, you'll see head-turning Eva Gabor (as Deborah "Debbie" Aldrich and foul-mouthed Mickey Shaughnessy (as Farragut Jones)...The all-star cast is likable. However, the juvenile romances, snickering innuendo and silly slapstick don't mix well. Best part is a very funny episode involving Mr. Shaughnessy reputedly using what is politely called "The F-word," but you have to wade through much tediousness to get there. The title "Don't Go Near the Water" refers to the fact that the characters play on dry land – well, until we see Ms. Gabor's lacy black underwear. This was based on a novel, which suggests there might have been a more interesting story somewhere. Although Glenn Ford was then too big a movie star to do it, this would have made a fine half-hour situation comedy starring Mr. Ford, Mr. Clark and Mr. Tamblyn, who provide a solid anchor and cover their demographics.***** Don't Go Near the Water (11/14/57) Charles Walters ~ Glenn Ford, Fred Clark, Russ Tamblyn, Earl Holliman

Another 50s service comedy that seemed like a pilot for a television series. You had the slapstick building of the officers club; the romance between the enlisted man and the nurse officer; the courtship of the native girl and Glenn Ford; the blackmailing of the journalist to repair the new school house; teaching the manufactured hero sailer to clean up his language when going out on Victory bond tours. Reasonabilty well done with a lot of familiar faces. One off-putting scene came towards the end when magazine reporter Eva Gabor sneaks off to experience an island assault. She comes back with her face smudged and cooing about how much she enjoyed the experience and how wonderful it was. I always thought those Pacific landings by Marines and solders were horrific blood baths, particularly if this was supposed to be Okinawa or Iwo Jima. I suppose if it was the first day of the landings, the heaviest fighting might not have begun, but we know that a steady stream of dead and wounded are on the way. There was no mention of casualties in this movie that emphasized the fun side of war.

Don't Go Near The Water is a film about those under-appreciated men of the second World War, those who served way in the rear echelon in the Navy's publicity department. They too, sacrificed and served their country in most unusual ways.Hero of this piece and perfectly cast because of his gift for dead pan comedy timing is Glenn Ford, playing a Mister Roberts like officer assigned to the unit headed by Fred Clark. Actually Ford's a Roberts in reverse, he's already had his sea duty and now is assigned to this backwater of the war. He and Russ Tamblyn would like to get into action because it is in combat that promotions can be quickly earned. Not to mention they'd like to serve their country.Now Clark's perfectly content where he is. He was a former advertising man in civilian life, so the Navy publicity unit is a perfect fit for him. He's even got far more leverage in 'disciplining' the men under his command. But he can be played and Ford does so like a piccolo.Don't Go Near The Water has no real plot except for Ford's yeoman Earl Holliman falling for one of the Navy nurses, Anne Francis, and stealing her away from wolfish officer Jeff Richards. That's a romance that Ford's helping in every way he can despite those no fraternization policies between enlisted men and officers.The film is a series of comic vignettes as the unit tries to deal with several non-military and military situations like a hero sailor played by Mickey Shaughnessy who can't control his language. I found that extremely true to life because back in those brief days when I was a weekend warrior, I remember those Anglo-Saxon expletives coming out just as frequently as they do from Shaughnessy. Still it won't do to have him on a bond tour with that coming out of him all the time, so Ford has the unenviable duty of cleaning his act up.Ford's also taking time to romance island school teacher Gia Scala and he enlists her help in blackmailing an obnoxious war correspondent to help with building a new school house with the money he flashes around from his publisher. The correspondent is Keenan Wynn who thinks that Ensign Russ Tamblyn is his personal valet. No wonder Tamblyn wants to get to active duty.And then there's the glamorous Eva Gabor who is a female correspondent who's been assigned to a forward area to cover the impending battle for Okinawa. As if Admiral Howard Smith hasn't enough troubles. He already has a low opinion of Clark and his outfit as a bunch of goldbrickers.All in all it's a pretty funny service comedy and holds up well after over 50 years.