This Movie Can Only Be Described With One Word.

Perfectly adorable

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

Crime caper "Down the drain" poses an immediate question : who is this movie supposed to be for ? The considerable amounts of nudity and violence seem to indicate that this is not a movie for children, but on the other hand it contains jokes and gags so slow, so flat, so addled that they are an insult to adult brains. In fact the plot as a whole makes one doubt whether "homo sapiens" is an intelligent species. Perhaps there exists a niche audience somewhere, consisting of people who think that the various "Police Academy" movies were way too difficult and sophisticated. A misbegotten farce on the bank heist theme, "Down the drain" overflows with bad writing, bad dialogue and bad acting, to the point where it becomes hard to see how it made its way past initial project phase. It is hard to see, too, how it ever made more than ten dollars - unless some kind of "The producers" trick was used, by which abyssal losses translated into a life of ease in Tahiti. ("Pour me another 'Sex on the Beach', Ted, and I'll tell you how the happiest day in my life was the day I gave a lift to Melvin B. Lipmann, the best little accountant in the States !") The main characters aren't even likeable. For instance, there's a scene where the hero and his girlfriend are caught in a gun fight. The girlfriend is hit, perhaps even fatally, while the hero runs and flees without a thought for his beloved. In your face, Romeo and Julia ! One shimmer of light in the darkness : there is a series of sequences where the blonde heroine (I'm being generous on both counts) wears a rather fetching blouse with a pattern of colourful postcards or travel labels against a black background. I like the blouse and I'm going to look for something like it on Ebay.

Victor Scalia (Andrew Stevens) is a sleazy lawyer in L.A. His girlfriend Kathy Miller (Teri Copley) wants a commitment. He gets cat burglar Jed Stewart off. Buckley and Carpatti helps safecracker Tom Dart escape from the Feds. Scalia leads the criminal group to rob a bank vault. A mystery client is paying $20 million for a secret something in one of the deposit boxes. Don Santiago set up the deal. Scalia brings everything but they're only after a microchip. This is a bad B-movie. It's an attempt at comedy that fails completely. There is a pending reveal that is mildly compelling. The action is weakly made. This is bad but not exceptionally bad. It's a mess. Its biggest sin is the bad comedic writing and even worst comedic acting. When the jokes keep falling flat, it leaves a bad taste.

And now, for the stupidest plot twist ever: A big big corrupt lawyer (who often pays jurys and judges so as to get his clients free and innocent) and a bunch of his 100% immoral clients organise a robbery. Somewhere in the middle of the film, and as they have already committed it and waiting for one of the lawyers clients who's gonna pay 20.000.000$ for the stolen goods, the lawyer learns that the loot contains a military microfilm that foreign spies wanna have! Moreover, he suddenly turns into a moral, good patriot (bluuuuurghhh!!!!!) and decides the loot should be returned to the police!!!!!!!! How is that? ANTI-AMERICANISM MESSAGES AHEAD! This film could be OK silly fun (not really, but!) for a viewing late at night in cable, as the previous reviewer similarly said. But this film is exactly the unintentionally stupid that ONLY American cinema would produce.patriotism is actually the equal of the sheep loving and caring for their shepherd.

In most respects this is a pretty dreadful film, with broad overacting (hello Andrew Stevens), appalling racial stereotyping (thanks, screenwriter Moshe Hadar), and a predictable outcome. At the same time there is something endearing about the film, a barely disguised T and A remake of The Thomas Crown Affair. At the very least the action is non-stop and indiscriminate viewers will be pulled along in the story's undertow. I can't really recommend it, but if you happen across it late one night on cable, you'll probably enjoy it.