Best movie of this year hands down!

Purely Joyful Movie!

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

I can't believe I made eye contact with someone in the process of renting this movie. Renting this movie is a f###ing shameless act. It starts out strong. Charmingly low budget. Slow motion of women running. Bad acting in weird settings. But my God this movie is boring. There are some sweet fight scenes, but it is a real slog between them. A huge section of this movie is shot using the "technology" of filming in the daytime and then making the colors muddy and awful to simulate the scene being at night. It sucks.

A gaggle of sassy female pro athletes are kidnapped by some would-be Hong Kong Symbionesers and their opportunistic leader. These women get shot, stabbed, raped, drugged, and sold into the sex trade, and not only is it not offensive, it is both hilarious and peppered with righteous Black Power sentiments so unmediated they could only be emanating from the Phillipines. The kidnapper with Commie nationalist tendencies turns out to be an OK guy, whereas the cigar-chomping capitalist tries his best to murder and/or sell his own daughter! Who knows what their motivation is supposed to be; and I don't know why they didn't give Jade more to do instead of doubling the Ebony. But this sucker, like Santiago's Vampire Hookers, even has something resembling an actual screenplay - one that moves on from the inevitable stupid-detectives-in-office scenes as quickly as it can and helps you through the crummy lighting and ragged fight choreography. I don't have to read any fanboys to know that Tarantino studied this sucker up and down, and good for him.

This one's a bit of a surprise in that it ends up being a pretty satisfying movie. Plenty of violent karate and kung fu with hot women beating the crap out of unidentified Phillippino men, co-ed blonde athletes killed by machine guns, and cheezy supposed boxer with a large afro. In other words, it's got a lot to offer. But, the photography is pretty crappy (although I wonder if it's not also cropped on Anchor Bay's DVD) and the acting is dragged down by a poor script with stilted dialogue.

I bought this movie a few months ago for the incredible sale price of $1.25 american (on DVD even). But that should tell ya'll how good it is. There are so many things wrong with this movie (technically speaking) it's insane. The two main problems are the sound and the lighting. First, whoever recorded the sound should have turned the treble way down. It's so high that everytime someone screams (which is often) my windows almost broke. So during the film I turned down the sound but then you can't hear any of the dialogue. Ahhh! Second, the lighting in the film is so bad that at least half the time viewers can't tell what's going on. I'm not joking, all you hear is sound effects (which sound worse than a cheesey Kung Fu flick)and see none of the fighting. My third and final complaint regards the character Ivory. The previews and plot line tag the three as ass kicking women, but in the movie all the fighing is done by Ivory and Jade. The white chick just sits and complains half the time. What a priss. Anyway, if you have a chance to see this movie or do something else, do something else.