I gave it a 7.5 out of 10

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

With a trash cast consisting of Edmund '2019: After The Fall of New York' Purdom, Gordon 'Frankenstein '80' Mitchell, Luciano 'Rather a lot of films' Pigozzi and Mike 'Strike Commando' Monty, you'd come to this film expecting a lot, and leave feeling kind of let down. How can a film featuring a necrophile dwarf get it so wrong?Well for starters it probably should have spent more time concentrating on the horror angle than all the other stuff it fannies about with in the first hour of the film. To set the scene: Count (?) Frankenstein lives in a huge castle with his band of freaks who like to do grave robbing with him, including sidekick Luciano Pigozzi, a hunchback guy who's having it off with Luciano's wife, then there's big Gordon Mitchell, and a dwarf who looks like Nicholas Cage in miniature form who gets up to all sorts of mischief, including fondling exhumed girl corpses and donking up Frankenstein's newly acquired dead Neanderthal. These cavemen have been plaguing the countryside for ages, and the local villagers are blaming Frankenstein for that and the girl's body going missing. It's up to Edmund Purdom as local policeman to sort all that out. Plus, just to increase the cast and pad out the film more, Frankenstein's daughter, boyfriend and her top heavy pal come to visit, which gives the film and excuse for nudity and most of the staff of the house peeking in on naked ladies (through the eyes of a portrait, naturally). The plot trundles along lamely while we watch Luciano Pigozzi scheme against the dwarf, and the dwarf gets exiled and ends up shacking up with another Neanderthal, played by The Beast from The Beast In Heat, a man who has no need for make up to play either. The movie then concentrates on the more important plot points like whether or not rabbit should be eaten raw or cooked. I suppose some skinny dipping does keep from falling asleep, mind you.Things are all gearing up for a Neanderthal Frankenstein monster versus regular Neanderthal battle at the end, but the film completely forgets to include any horror, unless savage throttling counts as horror. Worse still, Gordon Mitchell is barely in it and has nothing much to do, and although Luciano Pigozzi at least stands out as the scheming servant, Edmund Purdom just sort of runs around pointing at the things. Not the best Gothic horror then. Shame. It's too well made to be stupid in that sense either.

When I was 11 or 12, I remember liking these kind of films late at night on TV, but time has moved on and so has film-making tastes.I find it very hard to watch these poorly directed poorly dubbed movies any longer.Brazzi plays mad Dr. Frankenstein, Dunn is an evil dwarf and Lugosi (no relation to Bela) is a Neanderthal man. Add a monster named Hulk, and some nude women for sexploitation value, and you have the plot.In other words, there IS no plot!The film is typical 70's shlock Italian horror. Old dark castle, lot's of zooming to eliminate the need for an actual production crew with multiple camera set ups, and really bad dubbing that over shadows the bad acting!This mix makes for one smelly cocktail. Unless you're 10 or 11, then you may very well love it.

It really is something, what some erstwhile big-name actors will do to continue plying their craft and collect some lira! Case in point, the 1974 horror shlockfest "Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks," starring two such former matinée stars, here slumming for a paycheck. In the film, Rossano Brazzi, who had earlier starred in such wonderful pictures as "The Barefoot Contessa," "Summertime" and "South Pacific," plays Count Frankenstein (not the usual Baron; is this a promotion or a demotion? Someone, please check the comparative rankings of 19th century German nobility and find out!). When we first encounter him, the Count has just brought back to life a recently murdered Neanderthal (!) using the brain of a local village girl. When the Count evicts his dwarf servant Genz from the castle for some minor infractions, the little person marches off into the hills and finds a caveman of his own, who he christens Ook, and who he decides to use to take vengeance upon the Count, leading to a true clash of the titans: a living Neanderthal vs. a Neanderthal Frankenstein (who resembles nothing less than The Three Stooges' Larry Fine on steroids!). Fortunately, Genz is portrayed by perhaps the most revered little-person actor in screen history, Michael Dunn, himself demoted here after having appeared in such career-defining roles as the (Oscar-nominated) observer in "Ship of Fools" and Alexander in the 11/22/68 episode of "Star Trek," "Plato's Stepchildren." Anyway, while no one in his or her right mind would ever call the resulting production a "good film," and while it is easy enough to make fun of derivative exploitation fare such as this, "Castle of Freaks" yet manages to keep the viewer slack jawed and entertained. It features an oddball assortment of grotesque characters (the three aforementioned, plus a lusty hunchback) and occasional (what Radar O'Reilly would call) nudidity, courtesy of the Count's daughter (Simone Blondell) and friend Krista (who joins the Count in his studies, and is played by the yummy Christiane Royce) going skinny-dipping in Ook's cavern. The production values in the film are surprisingly decent, the Count's castle having a convincingly moldering elegance; the direction by "Robert H. Oliver" (in actuality, exploitation producer Dick Randall) is...well, let's just say that he gets the job done; and the musical score by Marcello Gigante, largely electronic, is truly outre. In all, a surprisingly engaging piece of Euroshlock. Oh...the DVD that I just watched, from Shout Factory, looks fairly damaged in sections but at least sports some nice bright colors. My psychotronic guru, Rob, tells me that the Something Weird DVD looks a whole lot better....

Suave and charming Count Frankenstein (Rossano Brazzi, who surprisingly keeps his dignity and a straight face throughout) kicks depraved, perverted, sniveling dwarf Genz (the great Michael Dunn in his ignominious final film role) out of his castle for being a disgusting little degenerate creep. Genz befriends Ook the Neanderthal man (brilliantly played with grunting'n'growling primitive aplomb by Boris Lugosi) and plots his revenge. Director Robert H. Oliver, working from an outrageously lurid and ridiculous script, puts an entertainingly crude and leering emphasis on sleazy sensationalism: there's a substantial smattering of gratuitous nudity (the stunningly comely Christiane Royce warrants special kudos in this particular department), voyeurism, rape, necrophilia, softcore sex, and even a hunchback who enjoys rough sex (thankfully this latter one occurs off-screen). Marcello Gigante's laughably inappropriate swingin' lounge score is pretty funny. A big knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred climactic fight between Ook and Frankenstein's enormous hulk of a monster Goliath (brawny behemoth Loren Bwing) is likewise totally hilarious. Poor Edmond Purdom merely takes up place in an insignificant supporting part as an ineffectual constable. Heavy-handed morale: "There's a bit of a monster in all of us. Especially when there's fear." A campy hoot.