Thanks for the memories!

From my favorite movies..

One of those movie experiences that is so good it makes you realize you've been grading everything else on a curve.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

BORING! Boring, boring, boring. That single word, repeated over and over in absurdum would describe The Girl in Gold Boots better than better than any well formulated sentences. The movie has no plot, the characters are uninteresting, the dialog is mundane, it is all very very boring. I very nearly fell asleep while watching this thing, and that usually never happens to me.There's nothing more to say really, save that some filler text in this review holds more interest than the whole movie. Actually there is one thing, it is very forgettable as well, barely a day after I saw it, I cannot recall a single thing, that's how uninteresting it was.

IMDb has a "bottom 100" films--those with the lowest ratings of the many thousands of films listed on the web site. The bottom 100 films list is pretty wretched, though many truly horrible films somehow missed inclusion on the list. And, oddly GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS did make the list--even though it's not that bad a film at all, especially for Ted V. Mikels. Mikels has made some amazingly bad films (such as CORPSE GRINDERS and ASTRO-ZOMBIES) but compared to these films, GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS is practically Shakespeare! Yet, of the three films I mentioned, inexplicably GIRL has the lowest IMDb rating. I think this is due to this film being featured on "Mystery Science Theater"--and I've noticed that many films shown on this show have LOTS of reviews and ratings because of the notoriety it gave them. The film is about three people who are heading to Los Angeles. One is a pretty lady whose life goal is to become a go-go dancer (she dreams big, huh?!). One is a punk guy who is thug through and through--he is the most poorly written and acted of the three--by far. And the last is a soulful guy who is cute, plays the guitar and sings. While these characters are all very one-dimensional, they are interesting and hard to ignore because the script and their roles are so tacky! When they get to L.A., they get jobs with a seedy nightclub owner. This jerk also deals drugs and has a twitchy and greasy sidekick who looks a bit like Dracula and a mortician morphed into one. The punk joins them in a "trio of terror", the lady realizes her dream job (only to realize it isn't that dreamy after all to be a go-go girl--who'd have figured?!) and the nice guy hangs around to keep an eye on the girl and to keep her out of trouble.The film is cheaply made and jam-packed full of silly 60s song and dance numbers and pop culture references. Lots and lots of silly go-go dancers fill the screen in the second half of the film and often it just looks like padding, but at least the girls are rather pretty and the script is semi-competent. The nice guy also inexplicably sings a couple numbers like Frankie Avalon and he was probably the only guy in the film who seemed to have much talent. But, being connected with Mikels and this film surely didn't help him very much in the long run. In fact, of all the main characters in the film, NONE OF THEM had a single credit other than this film!! Apparently this film was a kiss of death to their careers and they all eventually became go-go dancers!While the dialog is occasionally lame and the film isn't great, it is an interesting kitschy time capsule. Plus, for an ultra-low-budget film, it's pretty good and watchable. While compared to all films I might score it a 3, for a low budget "quickie" it is quite competent despite the Mikels touch!

If Offbeat Cinema hasn't grabbed Girl In Gold Boots for one of their late evenings roasts than they are not doing their job in finding some of the worst cinema put on celluloid. This must have been a great second feature in the drive-ins in 1968 when people were getting down to something else.On That Seventies Show one of the funniest lines I ever heard was from pretty and vapid Mila Kunis who said that nothing was ever going to get in the way of her ambition to becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. That same sense of purpose exists with our leading lady Leslie McRae who dreams of going out to Los Angeles and becoming a go-go dancer. It certainly beat slinging hash in that New Mexico diner with her drunken father. When Tom Pace comes into her life saying he's going to LA where his sister does just that, McRae hears enough and jumps in the car with him. Along the way they pickup another wandering stranger Jody Daniels and the three of them are off to Tinseltown after Pace robs a filling station.They find Pace's sister, a drugged out dancer working for club owner Mark Herron who's got his fingers in a lot enterprises, mostly illegal. Pace doesn't really care about his sister, he just sees opportunity for himself and McRae gets hired as a new dancer and Daniels becomes a club janitor. Herron indicates that Daniels could do better for himself with him and you can take that any number of ways.The film is one sorry mess, lousy sound recording, inane plot, totally bogus climax to this piece of drama. If you recognize the name of Mark Herron it will be because you remember who was Judy Garland's fourth husband. Mark wasn't doing that great before he married Judy, and when she cut him loose this was the best his meager talent could get.Oh and the music is bad Sixties music and the acting on the level of some of my grade school plays. When will Offbeat Cinema be showing Girl In Gold Boots?

OK, this movie is so boring, ooooooooh sooooooooo boring.... no no you don't get it it's SO BORING IT HURTS!!!!!! it gave everyone i watched it with headaches...we actually started to bite our fingers just to have something to do... it physically hurts.... only thing i paid attention to were the MST3K comments.... and the dancing, ooooh the dancing. Basically it's about everything else other than what it's supposed to be about. Girl hooks up with dude turned drug dealer, young dashing bohemian dude drags along and becomes the janitor/songwriter in the club the aforementioned girl was... hmpfff... dancing. YOU'RE LIVING A LIE, YOU DANCE LIKE A CLOWN (more like a COW), I HOPE THAT YOU DIE! i mean c'mon, Steven Hawking dances better...My advice, never ever ever EVER try to watch it outside of MST3K.