Simply Perfect

best movie i've ever seen.

Absolutely brilliant

A waste of 90 minutes of my life

Plot--A gang of hot-rodders torments an All-American family on a back-country road. In the process, Dad must prove himself capable of handling the situation since no cops appear available.Looks like this movie of 1966 was caught in a transition. Change was in the air. Drive-in teens and hot-rods were giving way to a youth counter-culture of Vietnam and protest. The movie's styles at the dancehall suggest this new movement, while the rest of the film appears mired in norms of the 1950's. This may account for the screenplay's awkwardness. Drive-in fare is no longer a sure thing, which the movie seems to sense, but doesn't know where to go.The hot-rodders amount to a caricature of empty-headed speed demons, typical of 50's drive-in flicks. At the same time, the wholesome Phillips family is right out of Father Knows Best, except Dad's lost confidence in his abilities following an auto accident. Then too, comely daughter Tina's attracted despite herself to the "cool" speed freaks. All this plays out on a god-forsaken desert road that no one else appears to travel. Then there's the ending's moral upshot that drops out of nowhere, except maybe an old time Western where the sheriff finally decides to clean up the town.Anyway, those two fine Golden Age actors Andrews and Crain give the material their best, despite the drawbacks. It's kind of poignant seeing their careers on the downgrade with exploitation fare like this. Ditto director John Brahm a past master of Gothic noir—The Lodger (1944), Hangover Square (1945), et al. He does, however, keep things moving such that the many repetitive scenes at least don't linger.All in all, the movie's kind of schizophrenic with Andrews, Crain, and Mock giving A-grade efforts to D-grade material. Too bad the script wasn't sent back for a serious re-write, a new title, and a better role for the talented Mimsy Farmer.

Such an idiotic movie. You can tell after just the first five minutes that it was destined as the second feature in the drive-in theater, to be appreciated only by patrons whose absolute last purpose for being there was to actually watch a movie. How a serious actor like Dana Andrews ever allowed himself to be part of this garbage is beyond me. I suppose the "So bad it's good" saying can apply here, although one usually reserves that characterization for science fiction and horror movies. Nevertheless, a lot of scenes and lines are so moronic, they will make you burst out laughing. For instance, in one scene, the terrorized family is being chased down a highway when they suddenly see a sign for a restaurant. Instantly, their terror turns to joy and relief. "People will be there!" they say, never bothering to think what exactly the restaurant's patrons would do for them in such a situation. But soon, their joy turns into disappointment when they find the restaurant to be out of business and long abandoned! But alas, the father (Dana Andrews) sees a glimmer of hope: a rusted- out public phone sign! "There may be a phone inside!" he yells to his wife, and desperately, he proceeds to break down the boarded up doorway, assuming, as I'm sure anyone would, that the phone company routinely maintains and collects money from phones left inside boarded-up, abandoned buildings. One of the stupidest scenes I've ever seen in any film at any time. The moralizing Dragnet-style cop was also worth a few laughs, as well as the drunk to whom he gives both a ticket and a little lecture. And what the heck is it with that strange Tyrolian-like hat that one kid was wearing? Really weird film.

As a rule I enjoy an old "B" picture, but this one is so bad that I kept watching to see if it got any worse. It is in no way a "So bad it's great" movie unless you had really gone to the drive in for some horizontal boogie. What on earth were two 40's stars doing is this showcase of really bad acting? I can only assume that someone was out to cash in on juvenile delinquent movies but was 10 years too late. Had it been made in the 1950's it would have fitted the period, but 1967!!The squeaky clean JD's looked like Saturday morning missionaries from the Latter Day Saints or Jehovah's Witnesses, the kind who operate in twos as you are trying to catch up with the yard work and won't believe that you are a Muslim/Buddist/Jew/Roman Catholic or atheist (whatever comes to mind). The wife and children were reduced to looking scared and grabbing each other with frightened looks. Father stuck out his jaw and tried to defend them, although I wondered why he bothered. These films usually have a plucky child who comes to the rescue. This family was just wimpy. Jeanne Crain's overacting was simply excruciating to watch and should be shown in acting schools as an example of what not to do. Unless you have time to spare and just want a good laugh, this film belongs on a Mystery Science Theater type show. Throw the popcorn and blow rasberries.

The main problem that I have had while watching Jeanne Crain movies of the 1940s and '50s is that I get so engrossed in marveling at her incredibly beautiful face that many times I will "zone out" on her lines completely. (My fellow men who have been on dates with really hot-looking women may perhaps sympathize with me here!) But who would have guessed that I would suffer a similar problem with a Crain film from 1967, when the actress was 42? In "Hot Rods to Hell," Jeanne plays Peg Phillips, who, with her recently injured husband (Dana Andrews; yes, Crain's beau from 1945's "State Fair") and two kids, drives cross-country to begin a new life at the California desert motel/restaurant they've just purchased. En route, they run afoul of a gang of hot-rodding juvenile delinquents, putting Dana's recently compromised manhood to the test.... Originally filmed as a TV movie, and looking it, this is a moderately suspenseful film that is basically good clean fun. Mimsy Farmer almost steals the show here as one of the jd's who will try anything for kicks; she is one sexy hoot. Some pretty cool music is provided at the Phillips' motel bar by Mickey Rooney, Jr. and His Combo (!), and some mildly gripping, fast-speed highway sequences help liven things up. I did, however, have some problems with the film. The punks that Dana goes up against are waaaay too easily dealt with, and Dana's character himself is a hopeless square, even for 1967. At the film's end, he vows that he will close down the Arena, where Rooney's band was playing, even though all that was going on there was some rock 'n' roll music, kids drinking root beer, some dancing and making out. What the heck is so bad about that?!?! The film surely could have benefited by some tougher bad guys and a more sympathetic leading character to root for. Still, there IS Jeanne Crain's face, surely one of the Seven Wonders of the Silver Screen....