I love this movie so much

the audience applauded

SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love bad movies. The IMDB "bottom 100" is great. This movie is different. It's not "so bad it's good". It's not interesting, it's not funny, and it's not fun to watch. I was bored literally the entire time. I was waiting the whole time for something to happen that elicited any response, but that never happened. This is the worst movie-watching experience I've ever had. Do not watch this.

Going to a small island for a party, a group of revelers finds the entire area overrun by vicious flesh-eating zombies raised from the dead by a deadly chemical and must find a way of stopping the creatures and getting off the island alive.This is an unfairly maligned zombie effort that has a lot going for it. One of the better features here is the rather impressive suspense built up here, whether done through the jungle location where it's all set up in the traditional gloomy, oppressive jungle shrubs that really give off a great vibe or the opening scenes of the chaos-riddled party that doesn't strike as being odd and off-the-wall enough to really warrant that kind of attention which pays off in a rather tense beginning. Compounding it all as well is the film's singular best quality in its relentless action that pretty much runs throughout the film as a whole, initially serving as the perfect payoff for the suspense-filled opening while offering up plenty of exciting moments. There's plenty of action here that starts off with the attacks in the forest filled with oncoming swarms of zombies that are appearing behind trees and underwater all along a rather fun and exciting series of chases and encounters. The main part of the excitement here is the centerpiece assault on the group as they race into the shack which is readily filled with tons of blasting gunshots, zombies heads blasts apart, limbs hacked off and martial arts moves all being utilized against the zombies in a delirious ten-minute plus sequence that also manages to feature tons of stunt-work and gory action to make for a spectacular highlight. Other big action scenes include the final battle in the house where the reanimated bodies all start coming back to life in the lab while the battle in the tunnel features some creepy zombie make-up and leads into the thrilling sword fight at the finale. Along with that fantastic zombie make-up and fun gore, these are enough to build this up against the few flaws here, which include the continuous video-game sequences in the middle of a random scene which is quite aggravating for the quantity of times its done and the selection of scenes it showcases. They're distracting, don't fit the tone of what's happening and seem to be done merely to placate fans of the game. The only other flaw here is the decision to utilize the running zombie tactics that's just completely unrelated to anything in the film that we're given as to the source of their resurrection. These here are the film's only real flaws that hold it down.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Nudity, and drug use.

Another Uwe Boll video game adaptation means yet another inept effort at making a watchable film. This time we take what I'm sure is a heavily plotted, intelligent and character driven game that demanded a film adaptation (not really) and make it into a boring, generic zombie movie. It's "House of the Dead" people, and it sucks.The plot begins with a character informing us that he will be the only survivor. I love it when bad movies spoil their own endings, it's the equivalent a kid with no legs challenging a pro soccer player to a game. Simon (Tyron Leitso) introduces his soon-to-be-dead friends: Greg (Will Sanderson), Alicia (Ona Grauer), Karma (Enuka Okuma) and Xynthia (Sonya Salomaa, possibly playing some kind of alien that happens to look like a human). They want to go to an awesome rave party taking place on an island but little do they know, the place is overrun by zombies. Hitching a ride there by paying two smugglers (Jurgen Prochnow as Captain Victor Kirk and his first Mate Salish, played by Clint Howard) they are chased by a harbor police officer named Jordan Casper (Ellie Cornell). It's a struggle for survival and a struggle for the audience to resist falling asleep.The only good thing about this film is the makeup effects, which are actually pretty convincing. There's a huge army of zombies attacking our heroes and they come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. We've got aquatic zombies that can swim, moss-covered zombies that hide in the dirt, ancient skeletal zombies and even fresh zombies that basically look like regular people but with some blood all over them. If there's one good thing that could come out of this film, it's a recommendation to any aspiring horror filmmakers to hire the costume and makeup artists that were involved in this movie. Everything else is downright terrible.Not only does the movie drop the ball from the very beginning by telling us exactly who is going to make it out alive and who isn't but it commits the biggest sin in cinema "show, don't tell". We don't learn in any way that's organic who the main characters are, we are simply told exactly enough information to distinguish the actors from each other with exposition at the beginning of the movie. Considering the fact that the acting is pretty weak here, maybe it was a last minute decision by director Uwe Boll to avoid as many scenes of the actors talking as possible. Some would give props to the man, but I say next time, just hire real actors.The plot is utterly predictable, not only because we are told ahead of time what is going to happen (no, I will not let that go), but because it doesn't do anything new when it comes to the zombie horror genre. Basically every scene of people talking is just an excuse to tie together an accompanying scene where the humans are running away from or shooting at zombies. To remind us that this is a video game movie, and also presumably to obliterate any tension that might arise, the film constantly flashes to video game-y scenes. We've got clips of the game the film is based on, as well as "game over" type screens for some of the characters that end up biting the dust. I wish I could make up something as stupid as this. Can you imagine if someone re-edited "Saving Private Ryan" and called it "Call of Duty" by adding "game over" screens whenever someone was shot down? Even that movie, which is widely accepted as a masterpiece would be laughed out of theaters, so what chance does "House of the Dead" have with its undead-like acting abilities and paper-thin story? The movie can't even stay consistent because only some of the actors are dignified with a death screen. Meanwhile, we get 32 nearly-identical shots of polygon-based undead creatures getting shot in the face.It's never particularly scary and even if what the hacks in charge were aiming for was a horror-action movie, leaning more towards action it would still suck the big one. There's a big scene where all of the characters have found an ammo crate (get it? Like in a video game!) and suit up for battle. They make their way to the mysterious "house of the dead" and encounter a huge army of zombies. For a while, it's pretty cool to see. Our remaining heroes take down legions of undead using various weapons and fancy fighting moves but the scene drags on and on. It begins by being kind of cool (maybe because before then you were falling asleep) then becomes ridiculous and funny and finally ends by being totally boring.Even the ending of the movie ends in a big WTF moment that doesn't really make any sense. Even if you had the lowest standards imaginable, and I have been known to exhibit this illness, and basic zombie action with frequent moments of "girls gone wild" type nudity would interest you, the plot is so badly written, so poorly acted that there is no way you can enjoy yourself. I laughed at a moment where a party goer refused to go skinny dipping with a hot woman just so he could get killed by a zombie but like so many of Uwe Boll's films, you can't even enjoy this film ironically. It was a chore to get through and while I can, once again, praise the special effects, the surrounding story is terrible and you shouldn't waste your time with "House of the Dead". (Director's Cut On DVD, June 6, 2014)

Truly terrible zombie movie based off a video game that I've never heard of. It's directed by the 21st century Ed Wood, Uwe Boll. It's an awful movie on virtually every level. Jurgen Prochnow would be one of many 'name' actors that would work for Boll, leaving viewers scratching their heads as to how this terrible filmmaker managed to draw them to his cheap and crappy projects. Blackmail, perhaps. The best thing about this mess is the nude scene of a young Erica Durance. Pre-boob job, however. There's really no quality content here. I did love the Sega product placement. If that doesn't date your movie, I don't know what does.