This movie is the proof that the world is becoming a sick and dumb place

Good start, but then it gets ruined

Disturbing yet enthralling

A story that's too fascinating to pass by...

It's funny how there are so many apparently individual IMDb users who are rating this film as something that deserves to be up there with The Godfather and The Empire Strikes Back whereas users on other sites overwhelmingly rate it with the lowest numbers possible.Comedies should either make you laugh or at least be satisfyingly witty. Not this one. The script was definitely a one-pass with no adult supervision, random scenes were thrown in for no reason, the "twist" was pointless, the resolution was unsatisfying as it had no prelude and none of the characters were consistent - only Craig Conway managed to be the same person from beginning to end.The cinematography was unimaginative, the sound was regularly at whisper level and the director and editor seemed to be working on two different projects.It's also important to highlight that the vast majority of celebrity appearances were so fleeting that it is PAINFULLY obvious that they are only there to slap on the poster in order to con an audience into picking up the DVD. Producers - if you're going to do that, at least give us a decent story to watch!I'm not a basher of independent film. I love decent low-budget stuff but it is important to balance out all these rave reviews with the truth.Oh, and whichever critic allowed themselves to be quoted on the poster as claiming this was "laugh out loud clever" needs a career change. There were two or three smile-worthy moments at best.

This film is different and I seriously doubt it had anything like the million pound budget it claims to have on here but don't let it's relatively low budget put you off. Right from the genius opening scene with Richard E Grant, who I so wish would do more edgy comedy which for me is when he's at his best, the film takes you on a twisty journey that is tricky to predict because it doesn't actually follow the typical romantic comedy well trodden plot, it almost does, which for me is what makes it so clever. It remains a step ahead of you the whole time while drawing you to believe it's taking you on a journey you already know the destination of. The blonde is pretty spectacular but for me, the actress who plays Patch is just drop dead gorgeous, major crush! Some major laugh out loud set pieces and a couple of moments where the proverbial envelope is most certainly pushed! For me worth a second watch but this time with my mates rather than my girl.

Pretty rubbish. That's about the easiest way i can sum this up. James (a loser) hires Ampersand (a pick up artist) to help him snare the girl of his dreams, who then turns out to be selfish and mean. With that, he realises that his best friend (a hot girl) was there for him all along and liked him just the way he was. Not the most original story. Comparisons with the plot of Hitch and Crazy Stupid Love are obvious. But to put this film in the same category as those two would be a grave mistake indeed. I love Independent British films. I love finding hidden gems, or spotting new talent in smaller films, and then watching their careers grow. However, this is not a hidden gem. There are no new talents to be discovered here. The faces we recognise (Richard E. Grant, Martin Compston, Neil Maskell, Colin Salmon, Sheridan Smith, Jill Halfpenny, Craig Conway) can all chalk this one down to 'keeping busy.' They will all undoubtedly continue onwards in their careers and see this as a mere blip. Not sure anyone who was trying to make a name for themselves with this one will be as lucky. Gemma Atkinson, who would have seen this as a chance to put the lad mags behind her and get some credibility comes up short. Here she plays the object of the central character James' desires, but as said, she is revealed to be shallow and selfish. Atkinson doesn't really show any range or charisma, and on the evidence of this wont be working in anything of a higher quality anytime soon. Simon Phillips who plays the loser in the title, James, is quite honestly appalling. He seems to spend most of the film playing a severe caricature of what I assume he thinks is a geek. Every Cliché is present and accounted for. Fat, check, glasses, check etc, etc. He seems to have only two emotions, and both of them appear to involve an OTT gurning facial expression. Although Im sure everyone can relate to the difficulty of finding a partner - the real big problem was that I just didn't like James. Maybe it's because of the way he was written, but I think Phillips performance took me out of what was already a bad film and left me with very little to enjoy from watching it. He over played every scene. The Director, Dominic Burns must be commended for managing to attract the solid supporting cast mentioned earlier, but then immediately berated for wasting their talents with this guff. Any subtlety to be found in the jokes was wringed out of it and replaced with BIG bravado and hammy,contrived delivery. He cant seem to make up his mind as to what this film is? Is it a romantic comedy. (No. It's not romantic. Or very funny.) Is it a balls out gross sex comedy. (No. It's crass, but again, not funny.) Is it an office/Curb awkward embarrassing type chuckle? (No. It's embarrassing, but only because it's not funny.) I feel like I am being harsh, but it's just that I cant think of many positives in this film. It's utterly charmless and quite boring.

OK, so I'm going to hold my hands up and admit that I was actually in attendance at the premiere of this film, it was ram packed (people sitting in the aisle's!) and I assume the audience must have at least leaned friendly. However the one thing about a comedy is that if no one laughs, the film isn't working... Well Loser brought the house down! ! It's a long, long time since I was in a cinema with such an incredible atmosphere and I go to the cinema a lot, including many premiere's. The film is packed full of great cameos and all the performances are pitch perfect, everyone seems to be having an absolute ball from Richard E Grant right through and the outtakes over the end credits seem to confirm this. OK the script hardly reinvents the wheel but it isn't short of a couple twists and turns and the end is belting, I came out with a huge grin, what more can you ask for from a British romcom?! HIGHLY recommend.