Fantastic!

Better Late Then Never

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

The Internet acronym LMFAO = Laughing my ****ing a**e off. What I did throughout most of whatever the hell this is.On some sort of primitive Amazonian island, where the cut off inhabitants can still apparently have access to breast augmentation, tattoos, bikinis and metal weapons, a baby is found by an errant wanderer. Flash forward 18 years, and said kid has been raised in mainstream society. She can somehow beat up four blokes twice her size even while drunk, and is the victim of two tiresome montages featuring a couple of the worst songs I've ever heard.Wait, it gets better. She's invited along on an army expedition on the same isle she was discovered on (this is just a coincidence, by the way) and en route, the helicopter crashes. Problem is... We never SEE the collision, just a flash of white light. Obviously a victim of the high-end budget. As the only survivor, she is swiftly abducted by the resident female warriors, where she is almost immediately recognised (don't ask how) as their missing child from almost two decades ago, and consequently made queen.Why does she accept all this so quickly? Why is she ready to give up on her old life just like THAT? How do this band of ladies procreate with no men around? Believe me, this is NOT a film to be asking questions. By doing so, you're likely end up in a straitjacket... This truly is a movie where the concept ( a bunch of Playboy rejects bounce around in minimal clothing for just over an hour) seems to have originated long before the script.But WHAT script? This crap could have been made up on the spot. And that goes for the music too, which seems to have been put together by tone death monkeys on kazoos. The attempts at drama are so beyond parody, it's amazing the camera doesn't shake with laughter from the director at the pathetic pouting they call performing. In fact, I'm surprised ANYONE involved in the... Thing... could keep a straight face. Perhaps they were all on something, at the time of production (actually, that would explain a LOT).I end with talking about the final 'battle', an exercise in such dismal amateurishness that it had me in absolute hysterics. These bimbettes take on a small army of trained soldiers in their swimsuits, in what must be the most horribly choreographed fight scene I've watched. The weapons NEVER make contact. A small tap sends a 6ft tall bloke hurtling through the air. We don't see anyone die... And yet, there are graves galore at the end.If I handed out points for unintentional hilarity, this would comfortably be the best comedy I've seen this year. Alas, I do not. 0/10

So the good points.The cinematography is good great camera angles and well lit locations. the music/score is actually really good if a little cheesy in places but it's a lot better than most b movies.That being said the script and acting render this film almost unwatchable.the fight scenes are really clunky and awkward.There doesn't seem to be a plot or reason to anything just a series of scene changesThere's some hot girls not wearing much but don't expect to much.

I tried to watch this movie and keep an open mind but for a low budget B Movie they didn't leave anything to the imagination - story was choppy, actors were rushed and possessed no emotion or credibility. I can honestly say this is one of the worst movies I have ever viewed - I have seen home made YouTuber videos that blow this out of the water. I wish I could at least say that the scantly clad girls were worth some stars but they were horrible actresses/models who where stiff and would be better played on Silent Hill as the bandaged nurses. Anyway to each their own...stay clear of this eye sore of a movie as there are far better movies out there with much better storyline, actors, directors, writers, and editors. I would be embarrassed to say I worked on this movies or put it on a resume.

A friend recommended this movie and while I was very skeptical, I gave it a try. I was thoroughly entertained by this film that I would describe as proudly uneven.The acting was often poor, but at other times showed great promise of some young performers. Solaris (the translator) and the precocious little girl filled the screen with their energy. The story, direction, and editing were also mixed, but tolerable given the unique opportunity to see these young actors cutting their teeth in this industry. There is something special about watching early efforts of promising stars. I look forward to watching this again in 10 years and picking out the actors that have become big names!