Disturbing yet enthralling

An action-packed slog

There is just so much movie here. For some it may be too much. But in the same secretly sarcastic way most telemarketers say the phrase, the title of this one is particularly apt.

One of the best movies of the year! Incredible from the beginning to the end.

Nothing to see here in this poor attempt at a car chase/on-the-lamb drama, which plays more like a wannabe produced by Columbia Picture's heir Bruce Curtis, and starring 4 children of Hollywood stars. Dezi Arnaz Jr., Robert Carradine, Melanie Griffith, and Anne Lockhart. Film has a run-of-the-mill opening with catchy Electric Light Orchestra tunes introducing us to the uneventful lives of some 3 uninteresting late teen/early 20 somethings longing for something more (Arnaz Jr. Carradine, Griffith). They hatch a rather vague plan to head north to Alaska, something about owning a fishing boat. After landing less-than-desirable blue collar jobs in the cold North, these three upset the wrong people and end up on the lamb with an employee of the top corporation around (Lockhart...the only interesting cast member/character). The film flies south from it's already low standing by this point and there is never an absolution to what these brats want, nor is there any tact in how they go about trying to achieve it. The writing is terribly unmemorable, and the story is never completely clear. Director Ruben has no style in how he captures this uneventful series of even more so pedestrian events. Producer Curtis pulls out all the stops to deliver a product with car chases, sex, drugs, and rock n roll. SNORE. It is simply an afterthought cocktail of left-over iconographic elements which fit so awkwardly into it's own bowl of dry, tasteless crumbs. PASS.

Hey, it's Joyride, starring the son of Desi Arnaz, a son of John Carradine, and the wife of Antonio Banderas!Well, these wacky kids could sure pull crimes and escape local bar patrons, business owners and the police with ease, alrightBut there was always ONE horrible thing they could NEVER escape from:All that lousy ELO music!!!Yes, regardless of what state they drove to, what restaurant, bar or car radio that played music, mainly only ONE thing kept blaring out of those poor little speakers:ELO! ELO! ELO!Now THAT was some scary stuff!

The video box for 'Joyride' says "starring second generation superstars", and one can't help but feel sad. Granted, Melanie Griffith has gone on to bigger and better things...but who cares about the rest of the cast? So with that being the pathetic attention grabber on the box I was foolish enough to purchase the film for a dollar thinking I would be in the land of 'so-bad-they're-good 70's films' Eh, not so much. While so many aimless 70's youth films (or plain ol' 70's films for that matter) tried so hard to say something deep and meaningful, 'Joyride' doesn't even try. It's just aimless. It is devoid of any interest whatsoever. Each character is so poorly conceived that it's no wonder these actors look so listless.In a nutshell the movie is about three 20-somethings who go to Alaska to start a business, but instead get robbed and then have to find work. They get beat up, eat dog food, steal cars, rob banks. It's all very typical but on top of that it's executed in the most mundane way possible. There are no surprises and the flow is so bad, and the actions of the characters so ambiguous that you can miss several scenes and not mind at all.But if you're a fan of Melanie Griffith's breasts - then this is a must-see. That's still not enough to get this above the lowest rating I can give.Best Line: "Jesus, everything is biology with you." * out of ****

I found this watchable in the sense that it passed the time. As for if it had an entertaining story and engaging character, uh-uh. It's hard to sympathize with these youths because they seem too arrogant, and also unbelievably naive at times. As for the story, it doesn't seem to know where it's going. First we see the youths struggle, then we see them get involved with a big plan, then their subsequent escape, then... well, the movie after that point has even less of a clue what to do. To top it off, there's no real ending. The "joy" comes from the producers who took ticket-buyers on a "ride" - though I doubt this sold many tickets.