Well Deserved Praise

A Masterpiece!

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.

(Originally seen a few years ago) There's not much to say, the ratings on this occasion speak for themselves, 2.6 is a rarity on IMDb, you know what it means and I agree with the people trashing this piece of cow dung. I turned it off after forty something minutes, as it was painfully embarrassing and didn't understand what comedy was, and Keith Lemon who is a likable, rather funny guy on his TV shows absolutely makes a mockery of himself here, proving he cannot make a feature length film with any decent jokes whatsoever; it's vulgar, cringeworthy, unfunny and one of the worst comedies ever made, a film to avoid like the plague. 0/10

I'll be the first to admit that I am a Leigh Francis fan. I really enjoyed Bo Selecta (even though it clearly wasn't for everyone) and I also like Celebrity Juice - I'm not a die hard fan and haven't seen every single episode, but if it's on then I will watch it. It's always risky adapting a small screen idea to the big screen, but when done right it can work (Sacha Baron Cohen's Da Ali G show started out as a channel 4 show that worked well as a big screen adaptation when he released Ali G in Da House which was an incredibly funny film. Likewise, we had Harry Enfield and Chums and then Harry Enfield and Friends adapted to the big screen as Kevin and Perry Go Large - another big screen film that I enjoyed). Presumably, this was Leigh Francis' attempt at appealing to a wider market and I'm sorry but this is an 'Epic Fail'.I knew before watching this that Francis would go for the jugular and go for all out crudeness as his way of generating humour - which he clearly does. I have no problem with crude humour, but geez if you're going to go down this road at least make it either funny or original (or preferably both), but Francis seemingly decides to do neither.I'll admit that I was a little bit concerned when we're quickly introduced by his Craig David character from Bo Selecta in a somewhat pointless cameo - it was funny 10 years ago, but it's kind of lost its appeal now. I suspect that those that haven't seen Bo Selecta may find those scenes involving the addition of Bo Selecta characters funnier than those that are familiar with them (such as me), but either way it's still pretty lame. It didn't help that the jokes are fairly repetitive (the gag with the Spice Girls and "you're my favourite Spice Girl" was pretty lame). We also have the same joke repeated regarding the Gary Barlow, Ronan Keating & Simon Pegg confusion - it might have worked a bit better if Simon Pegg would have appeared in the film, but I'm assuming that he had the common sense to steer clear of this mess.Even when Francis plays his 'trump' suit - ie vulgar humour he still manages to get this wrong - there was nothing original, nothing that was funny - pretty much all the gags fell flat.It didn't help that the story made no sense and was completely ridiculous (yes it's a Keith Lemon film so I didn't expect it to be entirely coherent), but come on. This film insults the audience intelligence by having us believe that placing a Lemon on the back of a phone will make it a world wide seller. Yes his surname is Lemon, but outside of this I didn't understand what was funny or what made this a big seller? Perhaps I missed the joke or maybe there was some hidden irony? Who knows? It was lost on me. The plot twist regarding this is even more absurd. Francis also parodies other films such as Candyman and The Shining, but again fails to be innovative in this respect.The only reason that this film got a 2 instead of a 1 is because there were occasional moments when Francis seemed to remember the 'less is more' approach - the destination on the bus saying 'T'Leeds' (which is a parody on how those from the North of England speak for those that are unaware of the joke) and Peter Andre speaking to Jason Donovan saying 'Singing is not for me' were subtle moments of humour that were actually quite funny. The 2 villains of the piece not wanting to miss their favourite reality programmes was also quite funny. There was also one karaoke members choice of song for his wife that also made me laugh.Yes, ladies and gentleman this is a terrible film and really isn't worth seeing. I think the main problem is that Francis doesn't have enough ideas to stretch a film even past its relatively short 85 minute running time. He recycles jokes throughout, uses characters that he used 10 years ago (wouldn't be a problem if they were any different from 10 years ago). Another problem is that Francis became annoying for the most part and really does go to show that his Keith Lemon is best handled in small doses. It's not the worst film ever made, but it is pretty damn Schhh11111tttttt!!!!!

When I saw the trailer I was keen to see this film because I love the lead character in Bo' Selecta! and Celebrity Juice, but I was put off when I read many negative reviews, saying it was one of the worst films ever made, I eventually decided to watch and see whether I would agree. Basically Keith Lemon (Leigh Francis) is hoping to make a success and a business from his invention, the securipole, by taking it to a convention in London, and he has been trying for twenty years to get it off the ground, but it fails to get any attention or investment. His girlfriend Rosie (Laura Aikman) meanwhile has to confide in his best friend Dougie (Kevin Bishop) after discovering she is pregnant, and also with a ridiculous order of 1,000,000 securipoles at the failing company that have been delivered by Evil Steve (also Francis) who is owed the money for them. Keith takes the advice of fellow business Kushvinder (Coronation Street's Harish Patel) to give up on what is not working, and he offers him his business that is also not working, a whole range of touch screen mobile phones that he can do whatever with, and his only request is to get a percentage of profits if he makes it successful. He is also gets in touch with someone calling himself "the fixer", who will turn out to be his guardian angel, Archimedes (Verne Troyer), who manages to get him a spot on the prime time television chat show hosted by The Hoff - David Hasselhoff, and also appearing is the woman he has always fantasised about meeting, model and actress Kelly Brook. On first instance Keith fails to grab attention with his phone, but he sticks a sticky lemon sweet on the back of it and astounds the audience, and he instantly becomes an overnight sensation selling millions of the new model of phone, that he calls the Lemon Phone, the Keith Lemon Phone. Kelly Brook is impressed with his newfound fame and fortune, and they start dating, with Rosie unaware, and Dougie, dressed as Keith, trying to find him to bring him back and sort the problem with Evil Steve, but with all the money he wants, able to get anything he wants and having the gorgeous star by his side, Keith's ego has been changed. Eventually though his luck ends when a major technical fault is discovered with the phones, it cases the users' mouths to go wonky and gain a speech impediment, and with this happening all over the customers are out to get him, blaming him for what has happened to them, and he knows he has no choice but to return to a lowly existence. Finally deciding to listen to those he formally cared about he takes advice from best friend Dougie to leave Kelly Brook who only cared about his money and go to save Rosie who has been kidnapped and held by Evil Steve, he does manage to help her, and life returns to normal as he forms a good business from home and has children. Also starring Paddy McGuinness as Gary, Nina Wadia as Pat and Abigail Hamilton as Keith's Auntie Fanny, with cameos from Peter Andre, Gary Barlow, Fearne Cotton, Emma Bunton, Melanie 'Mel C' Chisholm, Gino D'Acampo, Jason Donovan, Jedward, Vernon Kay, Ronan Keating, Chris Moyles, Billy Ocean (who Keith claims is his father), Craig Phillips, Phillip Schofield, Rizzle Kicks, Tinchy Stryder, Denise van Outen and Holly Willoughby. Francis has his popular character say his famous catchphrases, "Ooosh", "Bang tidy", "If I don't see you through week, I'll see you through window" and "I'd smash her back doors in", and he becomes Businessman of the Year, he also pleases the Bo' Selecta! fans with appearances from his other popular characters, rubber masked Craig David and Mel B, The Bear and Avid Merrion, the celebrities appear quickly and in near succession, Brook is sexy and sassy, Bishop is ridiculous, and Troyer is daft but alright casting. Critics and people watching gave this film the lowest of the low opinions and reviews, I will confess that I found some of it kind of fun to watch, but there are many overly crude and disgusting moments I can agree are awful, the worst being a spunking scene, and it certainly is not a good film, I was probably laughing for the wrong reasons, well, not even much laughing, if like me you love the character or his shows you'll watch it once, but no more because it is a very disappointing comedy. Pretty poor!

Keith Lemon is a bouffanted, spray-tanned medallion man buffoon with delusionally inflated ideas about his own talents, looks, and qualities in general. He is a North of England businessman down in London for an inventor's convention, leaving behind his girlfriend Rosie and friend Dougie in charge. For reasons beyond my ability to explain rationally, he becomes a huge success but, in the process, loses the decent values he once had...Keith Lemon is the latest persona adopted by comedy artist Leigh Francis (following TV success with Bo Selecta and Arvis Merrion, neither of which I could stand, and both of which make cameos in this movie together with a host of minor British celebrities). Lemon is a well-conceived, if broad, character, and well able to sustain a feature film.But let's be up-front here - this film is crass, tasteless, both smutty and rude, obvious, full of bad language, witless sex talk, and almost entirely lacking in moral fibre. It is prurient, infantile, and preposterous. Kelly Brook, game for anything, sends herself up in a performance of teeth clenching embarrassment. The story is idiotic, and anything (and everything) are valid targets for the humour, no matter how politically incorrect (which actually scores it a point as far as I'm concerned).Watching it is a bit like watching a car crash. But in some respects, it is a moderately entertaining car crash. I laughed fairly often (but never felt proud of doing so!).Non-English viewers may well have trouble with some of the accents in this movie, and would benefit from subtitles.