Boring, over-political, tech fuzed mess

Absolutely brilliant

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Blistering performances.

***Spoilers Ahead, Maybe?*** The only thing memorable about this movie was the opening murder scene.It was straight up brutal & after watching it, I wondered if I should've just turned it off then & there but as you already figured out, I didn't.The rest of the movie is forgettable.After you watch Machete Joe, you'll probably forget everything you watched in a couple hours.Oh yeah, the only other thing you might remember is the way Scooter was killed & dragged off (Gory & Brutal) Why did they have to kill off Scooter? He was funny & the best thing about the movie.Anywayz...... Was it just me or did everybody's voice seem like they were dubbed in English? Weird.I can't recommend anybody go see this movie unless nothing else good is on & you're BORED out of your mind like I was.Most importantly, ONLY watch Machete Joe if you can see it for free.If you have to pay or are thinking about paying to watch it, give that $$$ to me!!!

I haven't written a review for a film in quite a while but after watching this movie I feel compelled to do so!! I have NOTHING good to say about this movie at all!! The big stars of this film are Art Evans and Ernie Hudson but they only appear in this film a TOTAL of about 5 minutes COMBINED. The acting is horrendous, some of the worst I've EVER seen and I've seen MANY bad-acted movies. I would even put the movie "The Room" above this one in terms of better acted bad movies. There are NO redeeming qualities about this movie so I'm going to stop now because I just realized that I'm wasting my time reviewing a film that ALREADY wasted my time!!! Just stay away from Machete Joe!!!!

I find it very hard to review movies like this. I am a huge horror fan and I watch a lot of B Movie crap and you can't really say its horribly bad and to avoid it because you have to know what you're going into. The movie is bad...its just horrible...and its mind blowing to think that at least one of the IMDb reviews was a perfect 10/10 because that's just utter stupidity. There isn't anything redeemable about this. The acting is awful, its not even acting, the special effects are ridiculous, its not even gory because the kills are done off camera so that they could spend no money on special effects. But the cast has to know what they are doing is bad, they may even act bad on purpose, hoping they will making something so bad that it'll be good...a cult classic perhaps but Machete Joe will never reach that because its just plain stupid. I won't even spend time talking cast because they are all awful. I can't even imagine why Ernie Hudson (easily the biggest name in the film) would even have a cameo in this but he does. The only redemption for this is that you might get some chuckles out of how bad it truly is and for what its worth the story isn't a complete loss. Essentially a young boy watches his mother being raped, and then out of torture has his face brutally scarred and thus becomes a serial killer. The setting is awful, looks like plastic rocks and trees. Machete Joe isn't even a movie...its literally a joke. Even fans of the truly bad horror movies won't even find this watchable. Just steer clear of it. 1/10

I've seen several films in this genre. Most of them, with the exception of this well done work, are badly lighted. In effect, in other horror films, a viewer often gets bombarded with flashing lights and dark scenes where most of the actors cannot be seen well. This film, in my opinion, is well written, the actors are fine, and the thrills are well paced, and the lighting is excellent, sometimes, even beautiful. In closing, I comment on a previous review by someone called, 'TheBeardedWonder': This person indicated "... I don't want to spend more time than I have to here..." yet their piece was relatively lengthy, and "...nothing is good about it..." using universal quantifiers, like, "nothing is good". All this seems to me to be a bit disingenuous.