Tied for the best movie I have ever seen

This Movie Can Only Be Described With One Word.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Director Tibor Takács has had a very inconsistent career. He has directed some good movies ("The Gate", "I, Madman", and "Sabotage"), but he has also made some real stinkers ("Lies And Illusions", "The Gate 2", and "The Black Hole". Unfortunately, "Mansquito" falls into the latter category. Not everything about it is awful - for a production that was reportedly made for just $5 million, it looks very nice. The cinematography is good, the movie manages to disguise the Bulgarian locations as American, and the creature of the movie uses a pretty impressive looking rubber suit instead of CGI. However, as good looking as the movie is, it doesn't prevent the movie from becoming a big bore. The first half of the movie doesn't emphasize the monster that much, instead focusing more on the boring human characters and their boring dialogue. And when the movie does start showcasing the monster more in the second half, it comes across as very tiresome and nothing we haven't seen before. The movie seems inspired by 1950s monster movies, but this update simply forgets to keep the "fun" factor those old movies often had.

I think the makers of Mansquito had too easy a road of it, as a matter of fact. So confident were they in the strength of their title that they didn't spend sufficient time on story, casting decent actors, direction, and script. Granted, these elements aren't nearly as important as a title, but they do ultimately assist in making a good movie. Although, let's face it, when you pitch a movie to the Sci-Fi Channel what do you really need other than a gimmick and a snappy title? All the filmmakers (while on break from their primary job working at Arby's) needed to do was show the studio executives the Arby sauce stained napkin where they'd scribbled "Mansquito," and the vast resources of the entertainment conglomerate that produced such masterpieces as Raptor Island and Pterodactyl were at their disposal.Let's talk about the story of Mansquito. It's tough, but frankly, they don't pay me the big bucks just to make fun of movie titles like Mansquito, so I actually decided to watch Mansquito. (I realize I'm overusing the title, but I just love typing "Mansquito" even though my spellchecker is none too fond of it. Stupid spellchecker, thinks it's intelligenter smarter than me! Just to teach my spellchecker a lesson: Snubblefurtzinkip. Ha. Now my computer knows who's boss.) In the world of Mansquito, a nationwide virus has spread via mosquitoes. In an effort to kill off the existing mosquitoes, scientists develop a super breed of super mosquitoes in the hopes that they'll kill off the other mosquitoes. Apparently, the mad scientist lobby convinced the government not to simply buy a lot of bug repellant Off!. The maddest of the mad scientists (Jay Benedict) at one point reminds his attractive, not entirely mad female associate (Musetta Vander) that out their people are "dying," emphasizing "dying" with the most unnecessary use of air quotes any actor has ever employed.To test the new mosquitoes to make sure they aren't lethal to humans, a lethal human in the form of a convicted, mass murderer (Matt Jordon) is brought in. For this important prisoner transport, no less than three guards take the human guinea pig in the back door without bothering to check if the prisoner has misused his standard issue prison paperclip to release his cuffs.True to his name, the mass murderer murders masses, before being inadvertently exposed with super mosquito gasses. Man + Mosquito = Mansquito!!!!!! What follows is a transformation akin to The Fly starring Jeff Goldblum, though without any particular drama or style. Obviously Mansquito is a poor knock-off of the Fly, with the twist being the mutant is a rampaging killer rather than a generally decent scientist. But where the Fly was a grotesque, disgusting, high concept horror movie, Mansquito is a grotesque, disgusting, no-concept horror movie. The good news is the gore (which would probably give nightmares to impressionable children, in fairness) is so poorly done that it's laughable to jaded adults like me.Honestly, I think it's a surprise that there is any story at all in Mansquito, as the point is simply to see some giant rubber monster suck the blood of overacting extras. You wouldn't need a script to get lines of dialogue like, "He's more man than mosquito now!" Nor is any clever writer required to come up with the ingenious plot twist that Mansquito wants to mate with our heroine. Let me be the first to say: Ew.Mansquito is ideal for lovers of ineffective, goofy monster movies that take itself far more seriously than its budget allows it to be, and skippable for any other segment of the population.Worth noting is the success of Mansquito has inspired me to develop the following screenplays in hopes of getting greenlit by the Sci-Fi Channel: Mantato – A man falls into an experimental government potato patch and turns into the diabolical Mantato before being stopped by a good-looking scientist (played by Christian Slater) and a gorgeous local girl.Bearodactyl – a gentle bear is bitten by a radioactive pterodactyl and goes on a rampage before being stopped by a hunky scientist (played by Dean Cain) and a gorgeous local girl.FemAle – an attractive female falls into a vat of gamma irradiated ale and turns into the deadly FemAle before being thwarted by a handsome scientist (played by Casper Van Dien) and a beautiful local girl.Craptor – a cloned raptor falls into the septic tank of at a nuclear facility becomes the putridly extinct Craptor, running amok before being killed by a heroic scientist (played by Lorenzo Lamas) and a local beauty queen.I'm also in the infancy of developing the following projects: Galligator, Poison Guyvy, Womantis, and Catmandude. These ideas are copyrighted by Film Is Pwn and are too stupid to be used without express written consent of Major League Baseball.–Daniel J. Roos (film.ispwn.com)

Musetta Vander … a sexy b*tch, given the right circumstances. Early in this movie she did not display her sexiness; her character's education (as a scientist) showed a too conservative appearance. True, some educated women can be sexy, but Musetta needed to let her hair down, and to have worn some black-rimmed glasses. While she was working, a convict who was scheming to voluntarily give his services as a subject for a reduced sentence, made an escape attempt. He was successful, but not without consequences, because damaged containers in the laboratory (the section he fled to - the section with Musetta) infected him with toxins. Musetta received a smaller portion of the toxin, and the convict got the brunt of the mess; which soon changed him into a mosquito. Then the hunt was on, and Musetta's boyfriend (conveniently being a detective) was on the case. While Musetta was back working on her project she then let her hair down; and also began experiencing problems with her health. She was undergoing changes into her own mosquito mutation; eventually getting feverish, which fortunately showed a scene where she was wearing red bra and panties - sweating - looking good in that situation. But she did not mutate fully and begin seeking out some mansquito wanger; she only had had a smaller infection compared to the ridiculously powerful mansquito. Big as it was, bullets still should have killed it; but not only did it deflect bullets, it was able to survive a blast that knocked out a hospital floor. Nevertheless, the detective eventually jumped onto the mansquito's back and started to zap it with his stun gun, with the image in mind of his backyard bug killer device. But that did give Musetta (now showing more signs of mutation) an idea, and that lead to the destruction of the pesky bug. Hey, there are a thousand worse movies, so this is okay; and better still, if you're in an alcoholic state and seeing it without commercials.

Creepy looking convict gets some genetic engineering stuff on his hand and rapidly morphs into an even creepier looking creature. Mansquito is outrageous, but actually gets in a few scares on you. Watching that thing drink is pretty gross, what with blood being the implied soft drink of choice.He starts finding victims immediately, some at random, others for revenge. He takes particular interest in seeking out a female doctor at the genetic engineering lab, who herself may be contaminated with the stuff. You suspect this because she starts liking sugar and raw meat. Plus, she gets a bad case of "red-eye." Enter the stock plot coincidences. The aforementioned doctor is romantically involved with the only cop who seems able to figure out the horrible truth about the rampaging mansquito. A predictable finale that you see coming for about half the movie is delayed for the usual routine of an unending stream of trigger-happy cops taking turns futilely shooting at the armor-plated beast, with the obvious results. You won't believe the venue they choose for this high-body-count carnage.Not bad, for a Sci Fi channel low rent quickie. A few scares, a few laughs, and good fun. Just remember to turn your brain off before viewing this.