Plot so thin, it passes unnoticed.

an ambitious but ultimately ineffective debut endeavor.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

Once Upon a Time in the Midlands seems to make naming your film 'Once Upon a Time in.....' seem like a bit of a gimmick. Indeed, a year earlier Robert Rodriquez was left floundering with his over the top, epic tail of mediocrity named 'Mexico' but 'Midlands' does not make the same mistakes and nor does it ever veer too far over the line of 'big budget television drama'. However, if it doesn't veer too far over the line that's not to say it does not veer over the line at all, because it does and truth is; 'Midlands' is a pretty ordinary film.The film can either be a big budget TV drama or a small budget film; like I said, it becomes a little too much of the former for my liking and thus fails as an engaging and intriguing tail of love, loss and family values. In fact, what it ends up as is a story that comes; sticks around and then goes again with a disappointing anticlimax and a series of scenes that remain interesting given the situation but lack any atmosphere. The story revolves around a man, named Jimmy (Carlyle), as he returns to where he once lived upon seeing a live (those things are broadcast live?) daytime chat show in order to seek out the one he loved and fathered a child with – she is Shirley (Henderson). Trouble is, times have changed and she has moved on; she's with Dek (Ifans), a well respected but somewhat eccentric mechanic. The problem is with this idea, albeit a brilliant one, is that Jimmy is shown as a far too good-a person to make us want to hate him and Dek is put across as a far too funny-a person to make us want to think he is up for the challenge; thus it is no surprise when the film meanders and wonders around in a bit of a daze.It is true to say that the opening scene focuses on Jimmy as he lies there, lost and unhappy we feel; but he is then shown to be a bit of a lad; a bit of a criminal as he and three Glaswegian thieves steal a case of money from four clowns. Even then, we can empathise with the thief in Jimmy because the heist scene is funny and why would four clowns get out of a Ford Galaxy whilst carrying a case full of money? Whatever they did, it seems they might have deserved what they got. So, so far we have spent time with Jimmy: the film could have gone down two routes: 1; make him seem evil and give him antagonistic traits meaning that when he comes for Shirley, we will be wary of him. Or 2; do not show him at all so that the impact of this rough looking guy who has shown up wanting to be together with Shirley again is a jolt to the audience and character alike – 'Midlands' does neither, it makes Jimmy look like an ordinary guy, like a 'lad'; harmless yet humorous.But what the film does isn't necessarily bad, just a little out of place. On the flip side; Dek, at least to me, came off as a bit of an eccentric and out of sorts guy who did not embody the traits required if he was going to be a hero of any sorts. Consequently, any scene in which he and Jimmy face off or are put in a location together should be filled with tension as a perhaps evil, Scottish criminal and an upstanding but strong hero come face to face – what we get is a misunderstood, comic Jimmy and a wimp of a hero Dek, in an office, having an anti-climatic square off. Secondly, Jimmy really could've been established as a psycho with a few scenes in which Jimmy is perhaps stalking Shirley or drawing attention to himself through anti-social and foreboding behaviour but what we get is a couple of silly scenes at his sister's house but a good scene when she tells him what's what, however that further deflates any menace about him because there and then, the 'villain' is beaten and by his own sister, too This shows us he is vulnerable.So onto the supporting characters; the sister is Carol (Burke) who does a lot of shouting and screaming in that annoying accent Kathy Burke carries; her husband Charlie (Tomlinson) is an introduced but underdeveloped folk singer that doesn't have much to do; the girl in question the two leads are fighting for, Shirley, is a one dimensional character who speaks as if she has something stuck in her throat and just when the film's crucible gets interesting when the Glaswegians come back for Jimmy, they disappear after one failed ambush but don't worry, they're there at the end in time for a 'funny' scene on the motorway and the running joke that they steal every car they drive feels out of place. So, Once Upon a Time in the Midlands feels anti-climatic; it feels empty in its atmosphere and development of its already familiar characters and it certainly ends in a disappointing manner leaving you with a feeling of 'So, what was all that for?' When you are supposed to feel anger, suspense, joy, fear or anything else; you'll feel nothing and that is a shame as it was a good idea, just executed a little heavy-handedly.

I got a great idea: British films are sooo bad, what if we gather all the great actors we've got in one place - English, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, scouse, brummie, cockney, yeah? Mix em all up like in one big impossible family? It's gonna be a scream. OK, so we pitch the idea and some idiot gives us the green light. Man, this is gonna be bigger than the Boondock Saints. So we get the cast - and what a cast! - and we get the director, locations, mobile café, the works. Dammit! Who brought the story? What, no one? We're gonna have to make it up as we go along? What if it turns out to be a horrible, embarrassing mess, a waste of time and the collective talents of the UK's finest thesps? Whaddayamean, it couldn't happen again: when was the last time you paid to watch a British film? Guess what? It did happen again. Makes you want to crawl away and die of humiliation, don't it? Question: Who on God's planet finances British films? It has to be the same people who 'run' English football. Don't they watch movies? Don't they want to make money? See the papers this weekend (Aug 19 2006)? Bollywood consistently outperforms - make that trashes out of sight - British films in the UK. The subcontinental fools! Has no one told them how last century it is to make entertaining films that people actually want to see? You want to know what a bunch of relative unknowns can do with a script written with love, care and respect for its audience? Go watch Serenity.

'Once upon a time in the midlands' is a low budget film, and it shows. To be blunt, the film was possibly the most disappointing movie of the year. From looking at the cast, I had high expectations of the film, with talents such as Ricky Tomlinson, Ricky Carlisle, and Kathy Burke etc as well as the famous director himself, Shane Meadows. I feel that the main contribution to the let down of the film was the weak storyline.Thanx!A lot!Thanks!Thank you very much!

Firstly, let me say how much I like Shane Meadow's work (particularly 'A Room For Romeo Brass'). However 'Once Upon a Time in The Midlands' is, in my opinion, his weakest work to date. That's not to say it isn't a good film, it is, but somewhere along the line the Meadow's formula went wrong. It smacks of too much development, something Meadows complained about himself, almost as if Film Four wanted to bottle the distinctive spirit of his earlier work, mass produce it and sell it to the widest audience possible. The characters end up as caricatures and whereas previous Meadows films examined the wonderful humanity and quiet dignity inherent in everyday life this one ends up in danger of being patronising to its subjects. The title and tag line are great but I wonder if they weren't thought up before the actual story and at the expense of the film. I personally found the Western elements a little superfluous, the deluge of famous faces distracting (what on Earth are Reeves and Mortimer doing as clowns?!), and the Glasgow gangsters subplot unnecessary. Once these elements fall by the wayside however, as they do in the second half, the film settles down into telling a decent little story. The central love triangle comes to the fore and we actually begin to connect with the characters. All the performances are good but special mention must go to young Finn Atkins who is outstanding. If this is your first taste of Meadows then don't be put off, just know that there are better films in his back catelogue than this. The 2 disc DVD is worth investing in though as the extras include Shane's World and a really nice documentary on the film's promotional tour.