The Worst Film Ever

Clever, believable, and super fun to watch. It totally has replay value.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

One of the best movies of the year! Incredible from the beginning to the end.

Esther's other tropical film, besides this one, was "On an island with you". They both also had Esther with a fake tan. I enjoyed both of them even though each had a couple of small problems. I really enjoyed the tropical island scenery here, which with it being almost 70 years ago, really gave me a "tropical getaway paradise" feeling, even more so than when looking at those same places today. Those islands I reckon really did provide a magical paradise getaway back in 1950. That was before they got hit with modern influences, high levels of tourism, and the internet which people everywhere including those islands now have. You can never feel as sucluded away anywhere anymore when with the internet right in front of you, you can bring so much up right in front of your eyes now at quick and simple pushes of a button. That just makes it all seem less private now. Not to mention how someone standing 15- 20 feet away can take a picture where you accidentally get in, and then it could be posted all over the internet. Back then if you got caught in a picture, most likely only a few people would see the picture like their close family and friends, instead of it being put on the internet for the world. Also back then, people had better manners and wouldn't deliberately take your picture without your consent, unlike today where people would and do. Yes, all those reasons definitely don't make tropical getaways quite the same anymore. I like the first scene with Howard Keel arriving on the ship (which is how everyone traveled abroad (USA to Pacific islands, USA to Europe, etc.) the first half of the 20th century before airline travel). Esther, who fools Keel into him thinking she's a native Tahitian who doesn't speak much English, has fun teasing him the first part of the film while then going back to her American family's house and talking about what a fool Keel is to her semi snobbish mother. That is more brought out during a semi elite garden party her mother throws that Keel comes to wearing a tropical slip (thinking it was a native Tahitian party like the earlier copra party where everyone was dressed as such) and making himself known, not quite the way he wanted. The earlier copra party was a scene where the natives half drank and partied/ half worked to make copra, I liked when seeing those natives climb those palm trees simultaneously side by side on about 5 side by side trees to pick the coconuts. I like when Esther says how she wishes to leave Tahiti and says "I'll be perfectly happy to never see another man in a hammock drinking coconut milk", then cutting to show Keel doing just that. At that point Esther still had Keel fooled into thinking she's native, and when he calls her a "broken down beachcomber" who she questions Keel what that means when she finally reveals to Keel about knowing English, but still hasn't revealed to him yet about actually being American (that part is revealed to him at the elite party earlier mentioned when Keel shows up not quite appropriately dressed). I enjoyed the songs during the first half of the film, first at Keel's hut (which he was initially disappointed about since he was expecting more of a modern (well 1950s modern) house with such amenities) when he sings "House of the singing bamboo" while using a clothespin to make melodic sounds out of the bamboo structured walls. I also enjoyed "Just singing in the sun" as Keel rides his bike through the old fashioned tropical scenery, nice old time scene. I also enjoyed the running joke of the bathtub breaking in half every time they try to deliver it, and also the scene with the elderly Tahitian woman bringing Keel a pig (that keeps trying to sqirm away, and eventually does) and her enjoying the simple pleasures of hearing Keel play on his typewriter. That's the word I keep meaning to use about people on the island (and in general everywhere) back in those days, more simple pleasures. The film was best throughout the whole first half, and during Esther's water scenes near the end. The part where Keel had to take in three Tahitian kids, I doubt that even back then, you were obligated to suddenly adopt three kids with no prior notice whatsoever in Tahiti. It was never explained who those kids belonged to before showing up in front of Keel. The song Keel sang to the kids about table manners seemed like something more of a thing for kids to watch. I didn't care too much for the scene where Keel gets upset cause he thought they left the copra out in the rain, it even stirred up tension between him and Esther. That scene just didn't fit with the rest of the film I really enjoyed the Esther water scenes near the end. First the magical fantasy sequence of seeing Esther swimming through the sky. I'd like to think I can almost see her swimming through the sky like that now, since she has now passed on and is up in heaven. I also loved the moment of Esther and some other girls dancing on an island, and then her swimming through all the coral reefs and underwater aquatic life, it was beautiful.

To say that the film is thin on plot is to put it mildly.We hear songs such as Etiquette, Singing in the Sun, that's right, not the rain, and House of Bamboo.The Tahitian landscape is absolutely marvelous. Other than the scenery, the picture offers absolutely nothing.Rita Moreno is absolutely unrecognizable and Minna Gombell is given little to do.All of a sudden, ex-Ohio schoolteacher, Howard Keel, shows up in Tahiti to inherit a plantation from his uncle. Some plantation. It looks more like an urban shack, of the worst order. He inherits 3 children from out of nowhere. The excuse for getting these children is flimsy at best.Esther Williams, his eventual love-partner, does her usual beautiful swimming, but it's all for naught. We're not exactly experiencing Bali Hai from "South Pacific."Love conquers all, but still has a hard time with this absolutely nothing of a film.

When Pagan Love Song came out in 1950 it reflected the changing times and the fact that the movies were competing with television. Ten years earlier a film like this would have been done on MGM's backlot. But now in order to get the audiences to a film about the south seas, you had to show the real thing.The film is lovely to look at without the plot getting too much in the way of the lovely Hawaiian scenery which substituted for Tahiti. My guess is that Tahiti probably was still recovering from the effects of World War II otherwise MGM might have shot the film there. In any event having been to Hawaii, I am of the firm opinion, further documented by Pagan Love Song that it is impossible to make an unattractive film in Hawaii. The plot is real simple, Howard Keel is an American whose heard about the romantic south seas and wants to get away from it all. Esther Williams is a native Tahitian who'd just like to get to see some of the rest of the world. Howard has bought a copra plantation and he settles into the Tahitian ways very fast. Of course seeing Esther in a bathing suit swimming in the lagoon helped a lot.One thing that should also be remembered is that at the time Pagan Love Song came out, the most popular musical on Broadway was South Pacific. That Rodgers&Hammerstein classic by itself created a market for a film like Pagan Love Song. I only wish the music were up to the standards of that show. Arthur Freed did double duty in this film, serving as both producer and lyricist. He wrote original songs with Harry Warren, nothing terribly memorable and also it's his song with Nacio Herb Brown that serves as the title of the film. It was one of the earliest hits from the beginning of sound films.Esther Williams as usual has some lovely water ballets. Of her it can truly be said, her like in Hollywood has not appeared again and is unlikely to.Pagan Love Song is a pleasant piece of fluff entertainment, easy to look at with a plot not too taxing.

The other comment here is that this movie has no plot. Well, there is, but it's a thin one. But, consider the social context of this film, the beginning of the 50s, a time when musicals were king and the world was still optimistic. Things looked good: the horrible WW2 was over and the boys were home; the economy was so-so but people were hopeful: many ex-GIs had returned to school (a social feature which would bear fruits in the coming years); Rosie the Riveter had put up her tools and was now in maternity clothes waiting to socialize her daughters and make them aware that they could earn money just like the men and not have to stand for being deprived of the opportunity to do so; the Korean war was still a year away. Things looked good. So, why not have a bit of Hollywood costume mind pablum about a guy inheriting a small plantation in Tahiti, having a romance with swimarina Esther Williams in dark-skinned make-up and all of that. No plot? Sure, there is. It's just not very tension-fraught. Is that bad? To tell the truth, I don't think folks went to see this film for extensive intellectual challenges. It is full of memorable songs, lovely-to-look-at moments and some nice shots of Tahiti. Rosie and her back-from-the-war GI Joe likely held hands during the colorful dream sequences, unknowing that their daughters and granddaughters would be horrified at the chauvinist late 40s dialogue. I missed this film as a kid and saw it on video a few years ago. I loved Howard Keel and Esther Williams as a kid and would likely have loved it more then. But still, there were moments, e.g., during the confusing (and somewhat confused) dream sequence, when I could smile, losing myself in the same way that thousands who go to Las Vegas and see shows at the club do-- and it only cost me a few dollars! Check it out. I agree. The plot is scarce but, doggone it, it's sure fun to see.