Really Surprised!

Purely Joyful Movie!

Am i the only one who thinks........Average?

it is the rare 'crazy' movie that actually has something to say.

Laura is a waitress in a small town in Ohio. It's not bad enough that she's in a dead end job with no advancement prospects. One night a local man, a respected attorney, goes mad and attacks her.With the passage of time the attacks against Laura and her friends and family increase in frequency and intensity. Finally she learns the cause of these attacks: the child she gave up for adoption died in a tragic accident, and his vengeful spirit won't rest until his revenge is complete.OK. Awesome concept. Lots of promise. The Ohio locations are new to our eyes. So what went wrong?The script is, to be generous, untidy. And the direction simply cannot rise to the occasion. Scenes that should have been terrifying are simply puzzling. And the ending, with Laura pregnant and preparing to give birth again- presumably this time she'll keep the child, so he won't grow up to be a demon- is simply dumbfounding. Not profound, just profoundly dumb and anticlimactic.In a better world this screenplay would have fallen into the hands of a director like John Carpenter or Tobe Hooper who could reshape the story and bring coherence and a sense of menace. They could have used the same cast- I'm one of those nuts who thinks that with a strong strict an effective director can get a good performance out of almost anyone- and same locations. I'd be content seeing it remade on an equally small budget.The people behind the camera are far from untalented. Unfortunately, they simply bit off way more than they could chew. But I do commend them for making a workmanlike effort.

Firstly, this is NOT a zombie movie. It's not a movie about zombies. There are no zombies in this movie. I rented this thing because of a DVD cover that made me think it was a zombie flick. I was terribly deceived.Secondly, remember the most awful zombie film you've ever seen. Rise of the Dead is even worse than that. I know that's an amazing thing to claim because the living dead genre has probably got the worst quality-to-crap ratio in all of cinema. The truly great zombie movies can be counted on the fingers of one hand and you can number the good ones before running out of toes. That leaves a legion or two of zombie films that range from mediocre to "I can't believe I'm watching this garbage". Rise of the Dead outstinks them all.Thirdly, pretend that Rob Zombie had a brother who was an even less talented filmmaker. I know it's difficult to conceive of anyone THAT inept and horrid, especially if you've seen House of 1000 Corpses or Zombie's version of Halloween II, but bear with me. Now imagine Zombie's colossally clueless bro making a movie about teen pregnancy where the moral of the story isn't preaching abstinence or sexual responsibility, it's that babies are literally life-destroying monsters and the women who love them are crazy bitches. Essentially, Rise of the Dead is the world's worst Afterschool Special on the virtues and advantages of abortion.The story, and I use the word "story" loosely, concerns a young woman named Laura (Erin Welk). Everywhere Laura goes, people start drooling and trying to kill her. Well, this one guy who chases her down the street appears to be auditioning for the new season of "So You Think You Can Dance?", but he may have been trying to Electric Boogaloo her to death.After hearing a lot of bad dialog from a lot of bad actors on a lot of bad sets, we find out that the people trying to kill Laura are all connected to the baby boy she gave up for adoption as a teenager and that the only way for Laura to save herself is to indulge in some spiritual incest. I'm not going to explain what any of that means in any further detail because I already lost enough brain cells watching Rise of the Dead the first time. If I dwell on it any longer I'm afraid I'll lose the ability to clothe and feed myself.This is yet another film made by people with no talent and very little money only because modern technology allows people with no talent and very little money to make movies. Rise of the Dead does have a couple of reasonably cute chicks who get naked and its atrociousness does reach the level of unintentional comedy a few times in its short, 72 minute run time. Those minuscule positives don't change the fact that this thing should never have been made and should never, ever, ever be watched.

This movie is pretty disappointing. I gave it a 4 star just because it was funny when it wasn't really supposed to be. I barely gave it a 4 star considering I thought I was going to watch a zombie movie, not a movie about some women who seems to be chased by people who are getting possessed by her dead son. It was mostly funny due to the sub-par acting, the obvious plot motifs (ie. a girl getting naked and promptly murdered with her breasts out) and corny death scenes. Most of the death scenes were nowhere near realistic, and there was some blur effect they did with a few of the possessed that came off really cheesy. There was also some white balance issues I noticed really early in the movie. I also found the end of the movie to be rather confusing, and sorta disturbing. It appeared like she was having sex with her boyfriend at the end, while he was possessed with her child. Not only that but she was talking to him as if he was her child while they were having sex, strange, I'm sure Freud would have a few things to say about that. Regardless, I didn't understand that at all, ha ha it totally was a "wtf" moment for me. All in all, It was a decent effort but I can't find it in myself to give it anything more than a 4 star mostly because: 1.) I was upset about how I seemed to be deceived by the title and 2.) It came across as INCREDIBLY LOW BUDGET which, even if it is, you should try to avoid that in my opinion (I mean 28 days later was made on a really low budget also, but that was amazing).

I am going to ruin this cruddy little movie for you right off the bat. I rented Rise of the Dead based upon three things. 1. There was a great and gruesome picture of an undead creature on the front of the box. 2. The synopsis promised a zombie movie and I love zombie movies. 3. The film was distributed by Lionsgate and I normally enjoy their films. All that said, this movie's packaging is a bald faced lie!!! The movie is not about zombies but some sad sack young woman's dead baby risen from the dead to possess people. Possession does not equal zombies and the hordes of undead walkers the film's packaging alludes to are never present in the film. Instead the viewer is lead on a dull and ponderous ride through bad film making techniques and really bad sets. The asylum scenes are pretty amusing if you have ever been near a real mental institution. I love how an asylum looks like a cheap motel room in this picture. The only good thing about this movie is that it is short! The trivia for this film says the title was originally Tantrum. That title fits the film and if the synopsis would have equally fit the film I never would have rented this lousy excuse for a horror film. I guess the studio figured that out and used a savvy promotion department to sell on the zombie laurels of other more deserving films. I give an A+ to the cheeky creative type who thought up the advertising and an F- to the director and writers. The lead actress did an OK job with the mediocre fair she was given, so I hope this film's extreme badness doesn't lose her future jobs. Stay away from this totally rotten little film. I love bad movies as much as the next midnight movie film fan, but this one is just too bad to bother with and being lied to still stings my wallet. I actually paid for this one too instead of using a free coupon like I usually do. Ouch, that hurts!