Fantastic!

A Brilliant Conflict

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

Great movie. Not sure what people expected but I found it highly entertaining.

I still very much appreciate its spirit, both in terms of no-budget filmmaking and sense of fun. I wish that the films of today could have even a fraction of its good-natured mischievous approach. Certainly film studios could learn a thing or two, in this ridiculous era of quarter-of-a-billion-dollar blockbusters. I for one don't need the equivalent of 'having my eyes masturbated', as one cinema critic so lovingly stated.I would prefer watching this in a second over any of the ham-fisted, cash-soaked holiday atrocities made in the past three decades (I believe 'A Christmas Story', and perhaps 'Elf' and 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' to be the last decently-made Yuletide films).But don't take MY word for it...see it for yourself (without the stupid and condescending MST3K commentary) and make your OWN conclusion.

'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' has to be the only movie that I have ever seen with a credit for a 'Custume Designer'. It puzzled me for the first few minutes but once I got a grip on the toilet brush I was about to witness, it didn't seem to bother me that much. This isn't just a bad movie it redefines bad movies. If ever a holiday pipe-cleaner existed this is it.It involves a group of Martians whom have hit upon the problem that all their children ever do is watch earth television shows centering around Santa Claus. So they kidnap Santa and a group of kids so that they can do away with the big guy and focus their children's attention on more important things. Their bargain basement 'custumes' look off the rack from trips to K-mart AND the hardware store. Their spaceship looks like sets thrown out after 'Laugh-in' got cancelled.It does have one thing going for it, a catchy title. Beyond that the movie stinks to high heaven. Some bad movies are watchable, take 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' for example, its bad and everyone know it, but you can still watch it and laugh, SCCTM you can watch if you have insomnia. Strangely I saw this movie only a day after I saw 'Santa Claus' a lousy Mexican kids movie from 1959 and shoddy as it was I still managed to laugh at it's shortcomings with good spirits. 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' is isn't just inept it's inexplicable.The characters? What characters? The Martains are rigid fools, the earth kids are good annoyingly good and the Martian children (one of whom is Pia Zadora) march through the movie with a case of stage fright. Then there's John Call who plays the right jolly old elf with a smoke billowing pipe and a giddiness that isn't so much jolly as he is a cause for concern.This movie has made list after list of the worst movies of all time but I think it belongs on a shelf of it's own, even MSTieing it didn't help. So, go have a merry Christmas and believe me you'll have a better one if you'll stay away from this lump of *ahem* coal.

I never thought a film would be this bad but it is. The film about Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and a couple of human kids to Mars. The Martian costumes are the worst I ever seen almost camp for words. I don't know how the cast did this film without cracking up. Except for Pia Zadora, I don't know anybody in the cast. The Martian costume is more funny than terrifying like a Saturday Night Live sketch. This film was done before we knew Mars was uninhabitable and before USA went into space. The kid actors are fine but still this film is perhaps one of the worst films ever made and perhaps the worst Christmas film of all time.

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (stop to breathe) hahahahahahahahahaha! Blimey... what a movie! I recorded this off of the TV over Christmas all because the description on the TV guide said "Cult classic, widely known for being one of the worst films ever made". As soon as i read that, i knew I had to see it. J They are not wrong... it was terrible! The story is about the aliens on Mars. Their kids are unhappy, but the Martian parents don't know why. But they have been watching "Human TV" and they think that Santa Claus will cheer them up. So they jump in their rocket ship and travel to Earth to kidnap Santa to cheer up their children. To find Santa they ask a couple of kids where he lives, so they kidnap the children too. Santa now has to try and escape Mars and get back to Earth with the 2 kidnapped children. The acting was so bad that they might as well have been reading off of cards. The only actor that seemed to make an effort was the guy playing Santa... The effects were really really bad... the rocket ships that were flying through space looked like toilet rolls painted and put up on strings. I felt like I was watching Button Moon. There were some entertaining bits in the movie, but only because they were so bad that they made me laugh. The costumes were bad... the Martians clearly were just fellas dressed in tight green Lycra with a tube stuck to their heads. There was a couple of fight scenes in the film too, it seems they didn't even try to hit each other. The fists were heading towards their opponents face and then you saw them just push them away with the fist! I am seeing why this would be one of the worst films made, but i will be honest... it was that bad that it did entertain me. I will give it a generous 3 out of 10. Yet, it is still not the worst film I have ever seen!