Really Surprised!

Awesome Movie

An Exercise In Nonsense

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

While the writing was terrible, the acting was atrocious, the only thing that saved this "turd" was the breast count, but that wasn't enough to make me watch this again. All said and done I'm actually dumber from watching this movie. This was a new low for Troma. Lloyd Kaufman starting the movie wearing a garbage bag and making fart noises should have made me realize what I was getting into. This was by far one of the worst ever put out by the Troma team. The best place to show this movie would be to invalids, sense they can't get up to change the channel. To conclude this is not a swift recommendation to watch this movie just for the breasts.

Once upon a time, Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman gave former Playboy Playmate of the Year India Allen a quarter of a million dollars to make two features shot on "crappy digital video" and starring leggy cult queen Julie Strain. What she returned to Lloyd was unfinished and deemed unreleasable (unreleasable by Troma must be very bad, indeed!), lawsuits followed from both parties and finally after several years of toying around with the material (re-shoots, comic dubbing a la WHAT'S UP TIGER LILLY?, added framing devices…) we get the mess that is TALES FROM THE CRAPPER. There's no doubt that this is a dire production, but the new voice-overs poking fun at the features are at times hilarious and Lloyd lucked out that the crappy film footage contained the entertaining pulchritude of Strain. It took me awhile to warm up to Julie, but thanks to her performances in this and DELTA DELTA DIE! (also 2003) I now realize when she's in her element (and has a big enough role) she can make even the most rancid low-budget production worth sitting through.The first tale is titled (or re-titled) "The Case of the Melon Heavy Alien Man Eater" and features Julie as Ivana Dance, a cop so tough that she shoves a road cone up a rapist's ass. After busting some pedestrians (and waving her gun around in the air, firing shots that hit cars, cats and people in new comic sound effects), she infiltrates a series of strip clubs like "The Shimmering Beaver" to find out who or what has been killing the dancers and patrons. The culprit turns out to be a mantis-headed alien stripper monster who does such things as ripping a guy's penis off and shoving it through his head and forcing a urinal cake down a guy's throat in the restroom. Kevin Eastman (aka the guy who created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and also aka Mr. Julie Strain) plays her murdered partner and India Allen herself plays a reporter. Julie has a weird sex scene with a blow-up sex doll that turns into a woman (Arban Ornelas) who then goes to work at the club (??) One of the other strippers is played by B movie regular Antonia Dorian (DINOSAUR ISLAND), who through new dubbing becomes a transsexual stripper with a bad case of flatulence named Larry (I bet Antonia was just thrilled when she saw this).The second story is a very (read: very) dumb tale of a teen boy who wants to go to college, but whose financial aid has fallen through. He and two pals (including the fat guy from the TV show "Lost") then decide to throw a fundraiser party to help raise tuition. They pander on street corners handing out fliers and inviting complete strangers to their home to see three kinky strippers (I guess the proceeds from that little function MAY take care of a semester's worth of books... if they're lucky). The dancers (Julie Strain, Arban Ornelas and Masuimi Max) are actually lesbian vampires who plot to suck down as much blood as possible, and after an lengthy all-girl sex scene, they go to the party and start their feeding frenzy. Ron Jeremy works the door at the party and newly added scenes feature Trey Parker (as Juan Schwartz) telling a long bad-taste incest joke and guest victims like Ted Raimi (using the alias Bill Ferguson and getting anally raped to death), Trent Haaga, Ramzi Abed, Doug Sakmann and Eli Roth. Julie's half-sister, Lizzy Strain, also shows up at the party, as does the band New Found Glory.The two tales are frequently interrupted by new Troma vignettes and linking footage (which aren't nearly as funny as the stuff in the two stories). Lloyd and Michael Herz (played by big guy Joe Fleishaker) tell the history of Troma studios in one segment (where Debbie Rochon pops up in a cameo as the unheard-of feminist Troma co-founder Eva Lipshitz). Also, Lloyd shows up on Hollywood Boulevard with a trash bag over his head as "The Crap Keeper," rambles on and on and on and eventually interviews James Gunn (a former Troma alum who went on to script SCOOBY DOO and the remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD). There's also a long and tasteless threesome with "Kelly Powers" (Suzi Lorraine), Isabelle Stephen and tranny Jamie Greco thrown in for no apparent reason. Debbie shows up a second time as a film editor who rips her top off and gets to work re-cutting the second story.This is one DVD release that truly takes pleasure in scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Troma founder, Lloyd Kaufman is The Crapkeeper in this anthology film made up of two films that were such celluloid feces that Llyod tried to salvage them by combining the two into one anthology film and throwing in copious amounts of nudity whenever possible. Does it work? nope, it's still crap that I'd have to scrape off my boots if I stepped in it.Will anyone like this mess? Sure, Young teen aged mongoloids with the combined IQs of a Vienna sausage have to laugh at something, I guess. For those who have brains that are even semi-functioning steer clear though and watch something less insulting to your intelligence, even "Dude, Where's my car" would do.My Grade: F

Another BRILLIANT film from Troma. I'd goes as far as to say it's going to be the most unique film put out this year. The purpose of this film is hilarious in itself. According to the narrator THE CRAP KEEPER (played by Lloyd Kaufman, he better get an oscar nod for costume design) this movie was designed from the remains of two awful films they had made. As awesome as Troma is rather than putting out 2 boring BAD films they decided to make it one kicka** double feature. A double feature like no other, the adr work, narration, editing, and BONER-VISION make this one of Troma's finest gems. Lots of people will probably disagree, but these people have been cinematically brain washed. I enjoyed it more than Citizen Toxie, it was more from the hip, looser, as though it was pure creative freedom. Lloyd is the king of this stuff, he hasn't hung up his hat like Waters and so many others, he keeps exploring far away from the realms of safety.