An absolute waste of money

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

For reasons I can't quite comprehend, I love this movie. At first glance it appears that there was dialogue, as you can see the actors' lips moving, but on the surviving version of the film the dialogue is replaced by a voice- over narration.Bill and Lisa play a married couple who spend their honeymoon at a spooky and mysterious castle. Lisa is stunning; both sexy and gorgeous, wearing the most garish and ugly miniskirt that the early 1970's had to offer. I have no idea who the actress is who played Lisa, and I don't recall having seen her in any other film, which is a shame. She is worth the price oaf admission by herself. Her husband is played by porn veteran William Howard, and if you are a fan of his penis then you will be sated, as it appears frequently throughout the film. In perhaps the film's best scene, succubus Jane Tsentas appears in Bill and Lisa's bedroom and she has strong simulated sex. At first the audience can see the effect that Ms. Tsentas is having on his penis, but then he, unfortunately, lifts his leg to obscure the visual. Still, the scene is hot. There's a lot of other stuff going on, but you get the idea.

If you ever pick up a dictionary and look at the word 'boredom', underneath in the many definitions of the word would be the title of this film. If you ever thought endless scenes of soft-core sex set to lazy music could ever lull you to sleep more than a triple dose of Lunesta, you just pick up this DVD, buddy, and welcome to dreamland before you get halfway through the mercifully short running time. Looking for dubbed-over, cornball narration that will make you want to slap the 'mute' button on your TV? This is the place to look! The list of everything wrong with this film could probably take as long to read off as the running time, so in short order, save yourself the hard-earned scratch and spend some money on something better.

The scoring here may be a little generous but I was expecting little of this, certainly no terror or orgy, but it delivers. In truth one surely has to rate a film within it's genre or budget or intentions. It is no good rating a really good porno one star because it is not Citizen Kane, hence on occasion, like this, the scoring may appear a little high. Nevertheless, I have to report that I enjoyed this. The soundtrack consists of what sounds like a prog rock group warming up, interspersed with a demented church organist plus a narrator substituting for all dialogue, so not a lot going for it you would imagine. OK it is a little slow at times and the (well shot and sexy) sex scenes do seem to go on just a little too long BUT there is a sense of humour here, nothing is taken too seriously and the participants really seem to enjoy themselves. There are some surprisingly effective moments, not least the appearance of the Countess in the most fantastic psychedelic trouser suit. I actually applauded. There is also a fine subversive ending as the 'hero' carries his bride naked in his arms. Dare I say I was reminded here of Bunuel!!? Just enjoy it.

A couple on their honeymoon spend the night at a castle. Little do they know that there are some sinister things going on. Eventually they get caught up in the peversion and mayhem. The married couple are both attractive to look at (especially the bride, who is stunning), and there's enough nudity to satisfy even the most jaded of viewers. Soft-core regular Jane Tsentas makes an appearance and does a lot with a very small role. No dialog, as they hadn't the budget for sound. Instead, there is a voice-over narration. Good, harmless fun.