hyped garbage

A very feeble attempt at affirmatie action

It is both painfully honest and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time.

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

An enjoyable, if at times, silly swashbuckler featuring once again Burt Lancaster in the energetic title role and his diminutive but equally all-action if non-speaking sidekick Nick Cravat. I say silly because at different times the pair hook up with a gentleman scientist who invents the hot-air balloon, flame-thrower, airship and just for good mention TNT, years before their time not to mention the three of them later dressing up as women to foil the nasty British governor's nefarious plans to tyrannise the locals.It's all very bright and colourful, with all the action, fighting and piratical clichés you can shiver your timbers at. Lancaster gets to jut out his chin and chest in between all his acrobatics, finding time in between to romance Eva Bartok as the native rebel-leader's daughter. Burt doesn't have his troubles to seek, as besides the double-dealing British, he has to contend with mutiny amongst his own men who are more interested in plunder and booty than regime change for the good of the local community, but it all works out in the end as you'd expect.Lancaster and Cravat get up to all sorts of high-jinks in an extended chase sequence at the start, a comedic impersonation of the governor plus one at a grand ball with Cravat updating (or should that be back-dating?) Harpo Marx's impishness with the gentry and of course a battle royal with all and sundry at the end.I've read that Lancaster and his production company were perhaps attempting some indirect political comment against the McCarthy witch hunt in Hollywood at the time with this tale of the oppressed underdog triumphing against the powers that be but that looks like a bit of a stretch to me.Better then just to admire the bright colours, acrobatic feats and romantic intrigue along the way, without over-analysing it, suspending some disbelief along the way.

And while the above statement is true, it takes more than fancy acrobatics from star BURT LANCASTER and his sidekick NICK CRAVAT to make a pirate film that is hardly more than a series of stunts that turn the story into a cartoon version of reality.All of it looks mighty good in color, filmed in Italy with spectacular sets and costumes, but the story comes across as foolish and impossible to believe. But I suppose action film fans will overlook the ragged script with all of the plotting dependent on how our hero will get out of his next adventurous moment intact while swords flash. In true hero fashion, Lancaster's smile gleams no matter how dire his situations are.He's at the peak of his healthy muscled appearance and almost looks like Doug Fairbanks on steroids during all of his stunts, many obviously performed by the star himself. EVA BARTOK is the pretty girl he ends up winning and TORIN THATCHER makes an impressive villain without even twirling his mustache.But the story is kiddie stuff, obviously aimed to please the Saturday matinée crowd at the local theaters who probably delighted in seeing this kind of stuff on the silver screen, even if the mix of broad comedy and drama doesn't always work. Strangely enough, the film is directed by Robert Siodmak, usually associated with more dramatic or substantial fare.

Before the languid Johnny Depp feminised buccaneers, there was effervescent Burt Lancaster to show how it should be done.You've only got to see him in action here to realise what a discovery Lancaster was to the movie business. Strong, fit, athletic, and well-muscled without looking like a steroid-queen, whilst with a drop-dead handsome face, a smile that made wide-screen essential, and teeth to give dentists wet-dreams. Dare I say it; he was a beautiful man? And he could ACT. Just check him out in 'Seven Days In May'.Here he's at his outlandish best. More visceral than the whey-faced Erol Flynn, a rip-roaring champion of the underclass, a pirate touched with humanity. As a one-time professional tumbler and acrobat, he scorned the use of stuntmen and what you see here is largely what you get; Burtie jumping, leaping, somersaulting and swinging in a way that would leave young Depp in need of resuscitation. Even by middle-age in the later 'The Train' he hurt his leg during a jump, but just bashed-on, limping his way through the movie. What a geezer!Our hero has a perfect foil in the form of small mixed-race mute Oyo - played for laughs by diminutive Nick Cravat - and despite a mutiny, imprisonment and every kind of escapade he comes out on top, defeating the tyrant and winning the girl - a not-so-comely Eva Bartok.This is an action comedy par-excellence. It is certainly contender for No.1 in the genre. It's as worthy a watch today as it was on its first release almost 60 years ago. Surely never bettered.I defy anyone, whatever their age, not to enjoy this movie.Highly recommended.

Caribbean Pirates have always been a staple for Hollywood. For that matter, pirates of the open sea are selected because there's always a colorful (if you consider black to be colorful) character within most sea epics. If Hollywood were to make a realistic movie of the exploits of real pirates, the film would be condemned. True depiction of actual pirates would include brutality, torture, robbery, butchery, ravishment, rape and wanton murder and would have investors scrambling for an army of lawyers. But since American audiences are not ready for realistic pirates, they can only provide us with child-proof ones. In the nineteen fifties, Hollywood created the rousing tale of the "Crimson Pirate" which starred handsome, debonair, wide smiling Burt Lancaster, as Captain Vello. A fun film to be sure and one which includes, his old friend, Nick Cravat as Lt. Ojo, Torin Thatcher as Humble Bellows, Leslie Bradley as the villain, Baron Jose Gruda, Noel Purcell as Pablo Murphy and of course, beautiful Eva Bartok as Consuelo. It's an old formula, boy pirate hopping for a big score, falls for lovely girl who's idealistic father is in prison by royal decree. Smitten, the courageous and action oriented outlaw, is reformed and with love as his goal, risks all to redeem himself and his crew. An interesting and fun adventure for Lancaster fans. ****