Please don't spend money on this.

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

Watch something else. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film.

Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

Robert Bloch concocted this very agreeable horror omnibus tale for Amicus, the company that specialized in that sort of thing for several years. While it may be short on genuine scares, and doesn't have a lot of surprises in store, it's so engagingly performed that Amicus fans will have a fair bit to celebrate. The stories are comparable in length, and vary in execution. It's mostly played straight, with the majority of the laughs saved for the final segment. As could be expected, some segments have more punch than others, but at least director Peter Duffell and company have some fun with the material. Use of special effects and gore are minimal, although there is some sex appeal (in the form of some gorgeous female cast members), giving this a fairly old-fashioned feel.The stories are framed by the exploits of a cynical and weary Scotland Yard detective (John Bennett) investigating the disappearance of a film star. He is told that bad ends often come to those people who rent the property where the actor was staying. He is told of four of these tales, with the last one recalling the actors' fate."Method for Murder" stars Denholm Elliott as Charles, a writer of murder mysteries who retires to the mansion to work on his latest piece. He frets as he begins to imagine seeing his fictional villain in reality. Elliott is excellent as he comes unglued, in this yarn that hinges on its plot twists, especially the final one.Peter Cushing is Philip, a former stockbroker in "Waxworks", who comes to the property to stay. He and his friend Rogers (Joss Ackland) head to the local town to check out the waxworks exhibit where they obsess over the image of an executed murderess who resembles someone they had known. This is the most stylish segment of the movie, with Duffell pulling out all the stops."Sweets to the Sweet" has dapper gentleman Reid (Sir Christopher Lee) hiring an in-house teacher (Nyree Dawn Porter) for his little girl (adorable Chloe Franks), only for the teacher to find out that Reid actually lives in terror of his child. This is very well performed by all, but ultimately predictable."The Cloak" is the most fun, so it's good that the filmmakers saved the best for last. Jon Pertwee is a hoot as a very experienced horror actor who has no patience for the crew on his latest project. Yearning for authenticity, he purchases an ancient cloak from an old man (Geoffrey Bayldon), not knowing that the garment has the power to turn the wearer into a vampire.The first rate cast also includes John Bryans as the aptly named realtor Stoker, who breaks the fourth wall at the end, lovely ladies Joanna Dunham and Ingrid Pitt (the sight of a vampiric Pitt soaring through the air is memorable), Tom Adams, Wolfe Morris, Richard Coe, Joanna Lumley, and future director Jonathan Lynn ("Clue", "My Cousin Vinny"). "The House That Dripped Blood" may be similar to a lot of anthologies in that it is somewhat uneven (this viewer liked "Waxworks" (thanks to Cushing) and "Cloak" the most), but it's well-made overall, and pacing is fairly good up until the coda where Bennett comes face to face with terror.If you dig other Amicus portmanteau pictures, you will likely find this to your satisfaction as well.Seven out of 10.

*Spoiler/plot- The House that Dripped Blood, 1971, Shortly after renting an old English country, a horror film star disappears and a Scotland Yard inspector arrives to investigate. Inquiring at the local police station, the inspector learns the house's history of multiple odd occurrences.*Special Stars- Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Denholm Elliott, Jon Pertwee *Theme- Old houses in England have a long history, possibly ghosts, and influences beyond the grave.*Trivia/location/goofs- British, Many short stories anthology revolving around this house's various occupants. Watch for Chris Lee's character "Dracula" tableau in the Waxworks segment with P. Cushing passing it several times. Christopher Lee is seen reading a book in his new rented home's study, 'Lord Of the Rings'. In 40 years, Lee would star in that film based book. Jon Petwee was still performing in the English science fiction series Doctor Who during this film's shooting. If you look closely in his dressing room mirror, there is a Dr. Who production photo of Pertwee in his Dr. Who car, 'Bessie'. The American actor, Vincent Price was asked to perform a major role in the waxworks scene. Price gained USA notoriety playing in the 3-D film, "The House of Wax' with an early film role for Charlse Bronson.*Emotion- An enjoyable series of stories putting England's best horror actors through their paces, but my most enjoyable one was a comedic tale with Jon Pertwee in it as a cowardly reluctant vampire. Having met him at several sci-fi fiction events and getting a taste of his personality, I wish I was on-set for this to be shot. It must have been a hoot.

And it shows here in this anthology movie of four stories using British horror actors.The first story is probably the weakest, about a horror writer who thinks he is slowly going mad, but it's really his wife and actor boyfriend messing with him.The second story is about Peter Cushing as a newly retired man who develops a fascination with a wax mannequin of a woman who looks like an ex-girlfriend. Again, Cushing is a good actor, but he barely saves a weak story.Third Story- Christopher Lee as the father of a little girl who turns out to be a witch. Somewhat effective horror here.Finally, Jon Pertwee (Doctor Who #3) as a flamboyant horror actor who find himself in possession of a cape that gives him the attributes of a vampire. I think this is really the best of the four stories, but that's because Pertwee was trying to prove himself with a performance, while Lee and Cushing were just phoning it in.

They really should have called it:"The Shanty that Trickled Mediocrity". I did not enjoy this picture, I just could not for the life of me get into it. All the tales were so weak, and horribly old-fashioned, and the 'twists' were laughable, it completely without any of that classic old Grand Guignol magic and feeling, there was no sense of the macabre, ghoulish fun that any halfway decent horror anthology should have. They were some of the worst tales I've seen yet in a movie like this. I didn't find any of them to be remotely interesting or even amusing in any strong way. Pretty much all the effects were just too cheap and horrible looking and for me it, among other things really wrecked the fun. "Best film ever", yeah, sure.. Nothing was scary! Or ironic, or funny. It was just dull and boring. Even Torture Garden was a better film and that in of itself was not a fantastically sparkling effort! This is the worst Amicus movie of this type that I personally have ever seen. I do however completely love the 72 classic"Tales from the Crypt", so it's not like I'm against the style of this or the time that it was made or anything.. This thoroughly weak effort is everything that masterful classic of Gothic good old-fashioned terror is not. ::: The house that is supposed to link all the stories together-which I would also like to point out was entirely devoid of blood, I think was supposed to be all eerie and impressive in appearance, but it just looked like an ordinary bland little slab-sided affair to me. It actually reminded me of my Granma's cosy old cottage! ::: I thought the lurky and sinister imaginary killer named Dominic was kinda creepy for about ten seconds but then he just came off as a bit too goony for me. The actor obviously didn't know the difference between playing it sinister and retarded. And what a ridiculous surprise twist at the end that was! Oh, the goofy Dominic wasn't really just an eerie figment of ugly, boring and totally unimpressive fat shlub Charles's imagination, and was actually plotting with his equally boring wife to drive him insane for some reason-Wait, he really was! Wait, what? Is that what they were saying? That's just silly. It doesn't make sense! ::: The waxworks story was truly terrible. Were those things supposed to be waxworks or mannequins? Whatever they were they all looked incredibly fake and were not frightening. I did think Peter Cushing was good at least. The man never acted badly a day in his life. RIP. I read somewhere that as he was playing his role in this his wife was dying. I thought there was a certain haunted, pained look to his face, something that was more than just good acting. Even his prestigious talent couldn't save the tale, however. The pathetic looking imitation head at the end was just too silly looking to me for it to have any real shock value. ::: I didn't find the little girl in the third story to be particularly scary or ominous either. She just looked like an ordinary little girl to me, although granted there was one scene where she did almost have me for a second. It was the part where she's talking about her mother as she gazes into the fire. I thought Bruce Lee did a good job of appearing terrified of a sweet little girl, which is pretty funny when you think about it! I think they got the idea for the end of Creepshow from this story. ::: I found story the fourth to be a slightly amusing. I thought the horror parodying worked OK. It stank like the rest of course. The final scene with the bald guy talking was practically identical to the end of Tales from the Crypt. IE: blah, blah, blah, looks at camera-"perhaps, you?" The major difference being that film did it about a thousand times better. ::: I thought I'd enjoy this as I have usually enjoyed the other Amicus anthologies that I've seen. And I was surprised that Robert Bloch had written the stories as he's written some of the best short horror stories I've ever read. I gave this a four, for being basically watchable, but not particularly fun or very enjoyable in any meaningful way. If you want to watch some decent Amicus anthologies, I would strongly recommend you watch some of the later ones. Good day!