The Worst Film Ever

Absolutely brilliant

Your blood may run cold, but you now find yourself pinioned to the story.

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

What a scorching ride of a movie! Never has a better film been made, ever! One wonders why it was so carelessly neglected by the Academy Awards? The best actor who ever lived, Adolphus Lundgren, graces the movie with his presence, with this shining luminary of the thespian arts miming a black-clad Knight Templar in his inimitable, hard-hitting fashion. Not only that, but the movie contains an excellent portrayal of the lost art of archeology, showing some earnest and well-intentioned digging in an abandoned subway shaft that unfortunately goes horribly wrong. A denizen of the nether regions is released, to everyone's understandably great consternation. The remainder of the plot is too complex to rehash in a few sentences, let us just say that it continually keeps you on the edge of your seat with its captivating twists and turns. The supporting actors orbiting the Great One in this movie must have descended from supporting actor heaven...one grasps in vain for the proper superlatives to adequately praise their superb work. There are numerous fight scenes, which perhaps may strike some of you as superfluous given the earnest subject matter, but let me assure you they all have their place. There isn't a single scene in this movie one could possibly cut without maiming its subtle and important message. Besides, the fight scenes probably have made scores of Hong-Kong movie makers realize how starved their industry is for truly memorable choreography. The grace and fluidity of the fisticuffs is simply out of this world. What else can I say? If you have but one hour left to live, this movie is what you should spend the time with. It's THAT good.

The Minion (AKA Fallen Knight) stars Dolph Lundgren as a priest who must keep a key out of the hands of a demon who is trying to set the antichrist free. This is not a movie...It consists of one sided fights (That are poor) And bad acting that will make anybody groan. The Templars should keep this movie from an audience.....Because this groan inducing bore will have you wishing the end of the world would happen just you could get out of this stinkbomb. What was Dolph thinking?* (Out of four)

The Minion is about... well, a minion. A servant of Satan and whose goal is to get the key that will unlock the door where his master is trapped. He is some sort of demon who possess human beings and when the body dies will possess another. Anyone who happens to be possessed will go on some berserker rage. Dolph Lundgren plays Lukas, a member of a secret order of Templars, who is tasked to keep the key away from the minion. The movie begins a thousand years ago, in the Middle East where a couple of knight templars flee from the minion. Then flash forward to 1999, where the key winds up somewhere underground in New York. An archeologist is assigned to study/dig the place where the key was found. Needless to say, the minion is after the key, and the movie becomes a long winded chase scene between the minion and Lukas and archeologist.The movie, is just that, a low budget B-movie flick. The movie lacks energy, and just trods along. You'll follow the chase but you won't ever feel involved in the story which willfully takes ideas from previous movies (especially The Terminator films). The fight scenes with the minion is troublesome, in that you never get the sense of how good or how bad a warrior this demon is. It "skillfully" becomes a one-man army when fighting a squad of templars but sucks when it comes to one-on one. And it's supposed to be around for a long time. All this goes to show that any sense of logic is just thrown down the drain for convenience. The whole idea of a secret order of Templars, a door to hell, and the key isn't well explained. We are merely to accept that they just exist. The movie seems to have been made with the feeling there's not much potential to the story but only enough to make a few bucks. Dolph Lundgren sure looks like he wish he were somewhere else.The verdict: 2 of 5 stars.

Wow and I thought that any Steven Segal movie was bad. Every time I thought that the movie couldn't get worse it proved me wrong. The story was good but the actors couldn't carry it off. Also, they made a lot of mistakes on how proper archiological digs are done. For instance you don't handle artifacts untill they are catologed and accounted for. The biggest crime in casting was the archiologist girl. She is a weak actress and I felt that her acting really made the movie less realistic then it already was. The whole concept of the knights templar being underground all these years seemed pretty stupid to me. I like the idea of how they disappeared and stuff, so that almost seemed depressing. I thought that the characters wern't explained well enough. You didn't find out much background and that made it harder to relate to them.