Very well executed

Admirable film.

A film of deceptively outspoken contemporary relevance, this is cinema at its most alert, alarming and alive.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

This film is a good film, I don't mean blockbuster epic good, but beer and pizza night with a few mates good. It's trash, that's all it is, trash. But enjoyable trash, and at times, rather funny.Okay so there's no good acting, not even a good plot, but watch it and leave your brain at the door and you will found out what an enjoyable film this is.Pure 80's horror trash. A few people got together and said 'I want to make a film' so they made the most stupid, most puerile film they could think of.But they watched it back and laughed, so this is a film you can never take seriously, not 1%. And it deserves that, it is a movie to laugh at, not make sense of.

Wow...I'm surprised at all the negativity being shown towards this film. I'm not usually a fan of bad movies, but The Nostril Picker is a hilarious film that manages to take a good idea for an exploitation movie, completely mess it up, and somehow come back around and make a good movie out of it. Well...I say a good movie, I actually mean that only in terms of the comedy value of it because as a piece of film-making; this is shockingly bad! The plot has all kinds of possibilities (some of which are dealt with) and focuses on a loser named Joe. Joe lives on his own and constantly gets knocked back by women; until one day when he gets a piece of luck in the form of a vagabond who tells him that he can give him the power of 'morphosynthesis', a process by which Joe can have the appearance of anything he wants. Well, Joe wants people to think he's a teenage girl, so he starts calling himself Josephine and manages to get himself into a school, where he's allowed to perv on the real girls without anyone suspecting a thing. However, he soon develops a murderous bloodlust...The Nostril Picker really is bizarre movie; not just the plot line but in the way that things are portrayed; the best example being the way that the central characters appears as a girl to everyone but the audience The characters in the movie see him as a young girl, but we the audience sees him simply as Joe; and thus what we get is a forty year old man hanging around with a load of teenage girls and being referred to as 'miss', and it seeming completely normal. This of course is little more than an amusing gimmick and the film doesn't really manage to make itself interesting outside of this plot, but this is adequately masked by a handful of real stand out scenes. A five minute montage featuring Joe hanging around with girls to the track "Gonna Get Me Some Schoolin" is hilarious; as is the sequence that sees Joe chasing a transvestite prostitute around his flat, holding a dildo and calling the prostitute a pervert! The subsequent police interview is hilarious also. The special effects are ridiculous; with plenty of fake blood splattering about the place. The film does attempt some character building by giving us an idea of the lead character's background, but it's not exactly deep stuff. It's also unbelievable that this film was released as recently as 1993. I can only assume it was sitting around in director Mark Nowicki's basement for ten years before he could find anyone who would release it. However, despite its numerous problems; The Nostril Picker is a lot of fun at least and while it won't appeal to everyone; bad movie junkies especially will find plenty to like here! It and even manages to deliver a shock ending!

I've been largely convinced to write this review for a number of reasons:1) This is, without doubt, the worst film i've ever seen 2) Unless it gets more reviews it will not be listed in the all time worst films list - which it deserves to be 3) I was kinda lucky - i paid five pound for it. i've seen it in shops for 15 pound. DON NOT PAY THAT MUCH FOR THIS FILM! You will be very angry 4) There are a lot of films out there in the horror genre that are not given a fair rating (in my opinion) and giving this film a higher rating than them is criminalThe plot summary: a guy with no friends meets a tramp who promises the world - well, the magic ability to appear to everybody else like somebody else. Our hero cunningly turns into a teenage girl and joins their gang - sitting on swings, baby-sitting. He kills them one by one until he is tracked and found by the police.Why is it so bad? To begin with the acting is VERY VERY bad. Someone else compared it to a school production. No, this is worse than any acting i've seen on a school stage.I've bought a number of these previously banned films from the DVD company vipco and not been as disappointed as i was at this. okay, the acting is bad but the film fails to deliver in every other sense. What was the point in making this film when there isn't even any gore! okay, no gore. What else can a film like this offer? Breats? No, not even any titillation!it's true this film may have a certain charm in its unique naffness but any potential buyer/watcher of this film should be fairly advised that this film is, at best, worth only one out of ten.

I pride myself on being relatively open minded movie-wise, try not to prejudge films, and have a soft spot for low budget and b-grade genre movies, but folks, sometimes you just gotta draw the line! 'The Nostril Picker' is one of the most worthless movies I've ever had the misfortune to watch. Misleadingly packaged, it tries to give you the impression that it is "controversial" or "offensive". It isn't. Well it is offensive intellectually and aesthetically, but if you think you're gonna get a confrontational, boundary-pushing movie ala 'Salo', 'Nekromantik', 'Last House On The Left' or 'Pink Flamingos', you'll be in for a real shock! This is just a poorly made, embarrassingly acted, amateurish, so-called horror movie, which is so dumb it makes the current spate of teen comedies look like they were written by David Mamet. I don't know who Patrick J. Matthews is, but I rejoice that he has never set foot near a camera since this complete waste of time. This is as bad as it gets. 'The Nostril Picker' rivals gems like 'The Roller Blade Seven' and 'Art Deco Detective' for sheer awfulness. Avoid this movie at all costs!