The Thompsons
The Thompsons
| 31 December 2012 (USA)
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On the run with the law on their trail, America's most anguished vampire family heads to England to find an ancient vampire clan. What they find instead could tear their family, and their throats, apart forever.

Reviews
Ketrivie

It isn't all that great, actually. Really cheesy and very predicable of how certain scenes are gonna turn play out. However, I guess that's the charm of it all, because I would consider this one of my guilty pleasures.

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Gurlyndrobb

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

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Brendon Jones

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

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Ezmae Chang

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

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TdSmth5

I haven't seen The Hamiltons so I can't comment on its relationship to this movie. The story of The Thompsons isn't told linearly but it starts more or less in the middle and then backtracks. I'll summarize the story linearly.An American family of vampires (one girl, 2 guys, 1 kid) try to mind their own business and are driving around the desert when the kid gets shot accidentally when a bunch of thugs hold up a diner. Now the family is seeking help. Someone tells them to go to Europe and also gives them a name. One of the guys, Francis, travels to the English country side to look for this person who can help them. The twins (guy and girl) end up in Paris having fun. While the other guy watches over the kid.Francis drives around, his car breaks down but he makes it on foot to some family pub where he draws the attention of the locals. The daughter who works there is attracted to him. But it turns out the owner and their two sons are vampires. They take him to the main vampire who offers to help if Francis calls his entire family to meet him in England. They make the trip but things turn ugly. The main vampire and his family don't have the Thompsons best intentions in mind.A lot of the movie is told in Francis' voice overs. The filmmakers know how to put the creepy small town English country side to good use. I really enjoyed most of the movie, but when things become physical near the end, the movie loses steam. The main problem is that Cory Knauf who plays Francis (and co-wrote the script) is just too laid back. Even when he's being attacked and his life is at stake, he never loses his cool. He does a good job with the voice overs, but acting in dramatic situations is entirely beyond him. A huge plus is the attractive girls, and there are many here- all of them actually. Elizabeth Henstridge is particularly lovely, attractive and hot. What a gorgeous girl. She basically steals the show. There's some nudity too. The special effects despite being CGI are pretty good and the fangs for once look convincing. There's a lot to like here, the creepiness, the English locations, the story overall, the women. There are some plot holes and details that make no sense. I look forward to the third one and will have to check out The Hamiltons. This movie is a good effort and a very good entry into the vampire genre which has been so mercilessly abused.

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spotlightne

I'm not sure if this movie is British or American or a mixture of both. But whatever it is, it's the biggest pile of rubbish this side of Transylvania.The story begins at the end, with the central character telling a yarn about how he managed to wind up in a box. His story begins with two young people attempting to have sex out in the open in the English countryside. This seems to be a theme of this movie: bouncing boobs, naked bodies and a touch of lesbianism, all mixed with vampirism.But the young couple are interrupted and murdered. No explanation other than their killers are two crazy young guys with knives.We then move to an English village pub, where the central character, Francis Hamilton, gets involved in a fight, just after killing a British policeman.There's also a phone call to an incestuous brother and sister who are having a threesome in France. Kinky and vampires - they end up slaying the female participant in their three-in-a-bed romp. Oh, and they also suck the blood out of a black guy who knocks on the door.All this done in DAYLIGHT. Hang on, I thought vampires were supposed to hate the daylight. Or have hundreds of years of mythology been wrong? The story then switches again, to an 'earlier time', where there is another fight, but this time in America. It's daylight here too and there are vampires.Does this sound very boring? Well, it is, and trying to maintain an interest in this trash is like trying to swim in a river of treacle.And it continues in its merry way, until the end. None of it interesting. None of it scary. Acting is atrocious. A complete waste of time.Please, don't bother. You'll never get that 90 minutes back.1/10.

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Paul Magne Haakonsen

First of all I must say that it is nice to have a vampire movie that is not tailor-made for a teenage girl audience with sparkly vampires and big hair. However, that being said, then I will flip the sword around and say that this vampire movie is far from being amongst the more interesting or appealing of vampire movies that I have seen.The story is about a family of vampires who flee from USA after having made it to the news with a video of them killing humans. The vampires find themselves in England where they seek the help of another vampire family, but is blood thicker than water?Having sat through "The Thompsons" now, I must say that I am filled with an overwhelming sensation of that this storyline was utterly and completely unnecessary. The story left no lasting impression on me, nor did it manage to rise above mediocrity in its concept and execution.It should be said that the people in the movie were actually doing a great enough job with their given roles, though it is not award-worthy material here, far from it.For a vampire movie, then there were surprisingly few effects in the movie. One good thing, and an interesting thing, about the movie, was that the vampires here were not immortal nor undead. So that was an interesting approach to the mythical vampire creature."The Thompsons" is the type of movie that you watch once, then shrug your shoulders and forget about the movie. It failed to make a lasting mark, despite having enough fangs to bite deeply with.

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Ratatosk73

Where to begin? This movie doesn't do anything right.The main character is a whining emo sun walking vampire. After slaughtering a bar full of people he and his too dumb to breath sister and brothers vampires manage to set themselves up in Europe somehow. There they meet up with a family of uber-vampires who have killed gazillions of normal people and vampires like them but who fail to kill a single one of these retards, they just like to push them and play with them. They do this while being, like, super-serious. The retards then kill them using vampire-skills against vampires who are as superior to them as they are to normal people. The end.Did I mention the 'lovestory'? Well, for no reason the youngest of the uber-vampires rescues the emo vampire and kills her brothers. Probably because he is so cool or something.It tries to hide the lack of story by jumping around in the time line every 5 minutes. OK, moron is in a box, how does he get out? No, how does he get in. No suspense. It's like watching a sad Monty Python killer bunny for 80 minutes without it trying to be funny.I have no idea what kind of audience will be entertained by this crap. Even stoned retarded goth kids in puppy love will vomit.

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