i know i wasted 90 mins of my life.

Better Late Then Never

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

If you're interested in the topic at hand, you should just watch it and judge yourself because the reviews have gone very biased by people that didn't even watch it and just hate (or love) the creator. I liked it, it was well written, narrated, and directed and it was about a topic that interests me.

Seven strangers are forced to relate their most terrifying personal stories after they find themselves trapped inside the infamous House of Horrors while embarking on a movie studio tour.First, most kinky, and delightfully outrageous yarn, "The Girl with Golden Breasts" -- Leave it to unabashed reprobate Ken Russell to milk wickedly funny dark comedy gold out of the hilariously ludicrous premise of an insecure struggling actress (yummy Rachel Veltri) who winds up getting killer vampire breast implants. The loopy satiric potshots at dangerous surgical enhancements and Hollywood's obsession with superficial appearances are simply spot-on, plus Russell himself pops up as a mad doctor sporting his own pair of lethal boobs (!).Second and most eerie vignette, "Jibaku" -- Director Sean S. Cunningham does an ace job of crafting an extremely creepy and morbid atmosphere that's highlighted by a truly unnerving sex scene between the fetching Lara Harris and a hideous decomposing spirit. In addition, the cool animation offers a wealth of striking visuals and the descent into hell rates as a genuinely harrowing corker.Third and best tale, "Stanley's Girlfriend" -- Director Monte Hellman's terrific 50's mood period piece not only serves as a lovely cinematic ode to legendary director Stanley Kubrick, but also brims with significant sexual tension thanks to the gorgeous Amelia Cooke's sensuous and magnetic portrayal of the alluring, yet enigmatic Nina. Spiffy surprise ending, too.Fourth and weakest anecdote, "My Twin, the Worm" -- While director John Gaeta pulls off a few squirm-inducing moments of Cronenbergian body horror, the story for this one comes across as pretty slight and hence dissatisfying, with a weak fizzle for a conclusion.Director Joe Dante makes neat use of a sprawling and rundown spooky old abode in the immensely entertaining wraparound segments. Moreover, Henry Gibson has a marvelously demented ball as a sinister tour guide, the always awesome John Saxon does his customary stellar work as washed-up has-been director Leo, and Dick Miller even has a brief, yet still welcome bit as security guard Max. Dennis Bartok's affectionate script shows a winning wholehearted affinity for such vintage 70's Amicus omnibus affairs as Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror. A super fun frightfest.

~Spoiler~ I couldn't help getting a little bit excited for Trapped Ashes. It was an anthology horror film bringing the likes of Joe Dante (The Howling), Ken Russell (Altered States), and Sean S. Cunningham (Friday the 13th) together. But something told me not to get too excited because it would only lead to disappointment. Disappointment does not even cover the feeling. Trapped Ashes was a complete waste of time and talent. Really, is this the best they had to offer? Stories about vampire breasts, Asian sex demons, and a little girl that hordes food? The script is terrible and I can't understand what drew these once great directors to this project. Actually, the same can be said after watching Masters of Horror season 2 and Fear Itself. I know there are short stories out there begging to be filmed, but I think the horror anthology might be a hard sell in the future. I can't urge you enough not to see this film.

Wow. Where to begin? This anthology offers a whirlwind of styles, moods and horrific situations. I found some of it to be deeply unsettling: scenes & moments stayed with me for days (vampire breasts = more disturbing than you may think; rotting corpse lovers; nightmarish "womb with a view" recollections).The talent on display is simply amazing. Ken (TOMMY, LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM) Russell, Sean (FRIDAY THE 13TH) Cunningham, Monte (TWO LANE BLACKTOP) Hellman (name checked in an REM song too!), John (THE MATRIX Trology SFX supervisor) and lastly but not leastly, Joe (GREMLINS) Dante.I've seen a few message board comments trashing this movie, but let me tell you an opposing POV. This movie reflects the talents of the directors who took the time to make it. This is not SCREAM or THE RING (US) or THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE. TRAPPED ASHES goes down it's own odd and disquieting pathway to hell. It has a decidedly literary flavor, although its shocks are as unpleasant & visceral as any classic horror film.There's some cool acting talent along for the ride; Henry Gibson plays a man with a venomous secret; John Saxon plays a man haunted by the specter of long lost lust; Tahmoh Penikett, who plays Helo on SciFi Channel's amazing BATTLESTAR GALACTICA series, plays Saxon's younger self, a man who lets a succubus destroy a friendship and a life; even director Ken Russell gets in a hilariously strange cameo role.Check your expectations at the door. TRAPPED ASHES is a horror movie unlike most you may have seen. It's an absolute MUST for hard core fans of the genre...

Remember all those British-produced anthology horror films that sometimes made it to US theaters back in the 70s, but were more often screened on Saturday late night or Sunday afternoon television? Stuff like THE VAULT OF HORROR or TORTURE GARDEN or FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE (or TALES FROM THE CRYPT or TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS and on and on)? TRAPPED ASHES is a heartfelt and enthusiastic (and largely successful) attempt to revisit that kind of sometimes-serious, sometimes-funny, sometimes-trashy scare flick.Encompassing four short episodes and a wrap-around set in a deserted Hollywood studio tour's "haunted house," TRAPPED ASHES explores vampiric breast implants, horny spirits of suicidal Japanese monks, tapeworm twins, and the soul-sucking girlfriend of Stanley Kubrick. Some of the episodes are more successful than others, with the most confident probably being the "Stanley's Girlfriend" one, directed by the most decidedly NON-genre vet Monte Hellman. It's a really touching, elegiac little piece, full of imagination and a genuine love for the world of film. The other three stories - and the wraparound - are more traditionally horrific, but also very inspired in their mixture of sex, horror and a warped approach to the genre. The Ken Russell segment in particular, "The Girl with the Golden Breasts," had the audience in Toronto alternately laughing with glee or squirming in discomfort, leading to three audience casualties!TRAPPED ASHES will appeal most to horror fans who are looking for a sometimes familiar, but definitely unique and twisted type of anthology genre film. Full of breasts, blood, great special effects, appearances by older actors like Henry Gibson, John Saxon, and a cool, "blink and you'll miss him!" cameo by none other than Dick Miller, it's a wonderful horror-movie debut for screenwriter Dennis Bartok and a great turn by all the veteran directors (and new director/vet f/x guy John Gaeta).Highly recommended for a fun and old-fashioned-style scary time at the movies.