Too much of everything

Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

A NASA space probe returns from Venus, carrying a cargo of radioactive goop. When it crashes back onto Earth, the goop is allowed to infect the nearest possible victim: a weasel. The weasel was already not doing so hot since it was rabid in the first place. It is then transformed into a big ugly mutant monster that claims a couple of victims. Not to fear, for an intrepid inspector named Cameron (John Smihula) is on the case.Granted, it is cool that Nathan Schiff, apparently just 16 years old when this was made, was actually able to get this completed. That in itself is an achievement, especially if this little offering has attained any sort of cult status. That still doesn't negate the fact that, objectively speaking, the movie *is* a turd. It's a slowly paced, exposition heavy, terribly acted clunker with oodles of stock music, truly tacky special effects and splatter, and an inane script. It's hard to believe that "Weasels Rip My Flesh" is as crude as it is, until one sees it for themselves.Still, it's somewhat fascinating in spite of itself. Hell, it's even pretty funny on occasion. Fred Borges is an absolute hoot as the deranged Dr. Sendam, who hopes to exploit the monster for his own ends. And it *does* have an absolutely hilarious twist ending.Recommended only to the most patient and adventurous of B movie fanatics.Five out of 10.

Returning from the planet Venus, an errant NASA spacecraft crashes into the ocean, spilling its radioactive cargo. Enveloped by a radioactive mass, a rabid weasel is transformed into a gigantic killer mutant.A film named for the Frank Zappa album "Weasels Ripped My Flesh", and directed, written, produced by a teenager with a Super-8 camera? With a budget of only $400? How can that be bad? Although that is some sarcasm, in all honesty, worse films have been made. Even Brian Ritchie of the Violent Femmes made a movie ("Red Eyes") that is of comparable quality, focused on blurry images at the Waupaca bowling alley. So, apparently, a 16-year old kid has as much talent as a world-famous musician.You might mock the effects, the beast, but in all fairness some of Roger Corman's early work looked worse. This kid has talent, whether we like it or not.

So, you're thinking of watching Weasels Rip My Flesh, are you? Well, ask yourself this - how much pain can you take, bucko? 'Cause this ain't no ordinary film, no sir. Y'ever see one of those "outsider" art shows - the paintings with the cheap materials, crude figures, no perspective, and weirdly distorted sense of space creating an effect only slightly better than what's posted on grandma's refrigerator, and the highest praise you can muster is to commend the artists on their determination in the face of their obvious lack of talent or training? This is the cinematic equivalent.Normally, this would be the point where I would give a little recap of the plot, but that's not really possible, as there isn't much of one. There's lots of nice, loooong shots of trees and brush, interspersed with scenes involving characters doing senseless things and then dying or otherwise dropping out of the film entirely. But, basically, a weasel is exposed to radioactive slime from Venus (don't ask), and goes around killing people. Then two Agents show up and fight with an utterly non-scientific-looking Mad Scientist in the least-laboratory-looking laboratory set I've ever seen in my life. The Mad uses weasel blood to change Agent Sidekick into a gray carrot-creature, the monsters fight, Agent Mustache fights the Mad, many people lose many limbs, the special effects department opens another can of Chef Boyardee, then we get the Lamest Shock Ending of All Time, and roll credits.Of course, I'm leaving out the drunk college girls killed by a weasel-rabies-infected madman (which occurs before the weasel itself is mutated - huh?), the gripping rocket-to-Venus sequence, the two guys who dissect a severed weasel-limb in their kitchen, with tragic results, the unknown woman on a table in the not-lab, the bike-riding kids, and who knows what else, but none of those scenes really amount to anything, anyway.If that's not enough to put you off your feed, check out the imaginative, yet ultimately pathetic, use of props. Hypodermic needles are stored in beer steins, pasta tongs (or maybe a hair clip?) serve as the Venus probe's robot arm, and my favorite - the duct-tape covered shoebox with "DANGER RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS" (or some such - I'm not going back to search the disc now) crudely magic-markered on the lid. Really gives you that high-tech NASA feel.On the plus side . . . Hmmm. OK, there's a crashing-rocket's-eye-view shot that's kinda interesting, but only because it's hard to figure how they did it at their bottom-feeder level of production. The thick Long Island and Jersey accents of some of the actors are occasionally diverting. And, we get not one, but three Ron Jeremy look-a-likes in the cast! OK, one's kinda more Gabe Kaplan, but still, it should count for something.

"Weasels Rip My Flesh" is an entertaining,albeit extremely low-budget debut of Nathan Schiff,the New York film-maker behind "Long Island Cannibal Massacre" and "They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore".A NASA shuttle collects some goop that looks like egg yolks from Venus then,on the way back,crashes into a pond and its radioactive contents end up all over a weasel that looks like a deformed teddy bear.Two cops stumble upon a secret lab and do battle with a mad scientist Dr.Sendam,who performs an experiments with the weasel's blood."Weasels Rip My Flesh" is a homemade horror film that certainly delivers plenty of cruddy gore.The sound sucks,the acting is awful and the script is hilariously bad,but if you like Z-grade horror cinema give this one a look.5 out of 10.