Undescribable Perfection

Touches You

Thanks for the memories!

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

This follow-up to WITCHBOARD is pretty much a typical example of a bland horror film sequel, as this film is indistinguishable from numerous others. There isn't really much here that we haven't seen before, be it false scares, neurotic characters, boring dream sequences, and contrived deaths. All in all it's a textbook example of how to make a run of the mill film, which contains enough ingredients to mildly satisfy the audience but not enough to thrill them. The plot of the first film is re-run again (it was hardly original to begin with) with a few things changed; this time the spirit is a murdered girl who has become evil after her death (so much for Casper). Unfortunately, there is little to commend this film to hardened horror addicts: not much gore, no nudity, only some amusing swearing and some dodgy/funny special effects.A good game to play while watching this film would be spot the cliché. Whether it's the flying objects from THE EXORCIST or the spooky scares from POLTERGEIST, you can be sure that, in some way or another, we've been there, done that, before. The acting is generally bad with a generation of young, good looking television actors and actresses taking centre stage, which just shows the trend of picking actors for their looks instead of their abilities these days. And who says that beauty isn't skin deep? Ami Dolenz is not very capable as a heroine and her acting ranges from A to, well, A. Although she wears lots of skimpy clothes (the film excuses this as the Ouija board makes her sexually active, apparently), I didn't find her very attractive either, just another blonde bimbo. Her ex-boyfriend is irritating and macho, a butch guy who needs a good beating (and, thankfully, gets one!). A young heart-throb just stands around mumbling and looking good, so I'm pretty pleased when he dies. Another woman tries to be a hippy and is one of the most embarrassing characters I've ever seen in a horror film. I cheered when she died. The only good characters are a comedy Jewish spiritualist and a lecherous, drunken slob who meets a hilarious death.Why did I hate this film so much? It had potential to go somewhere, but copped out in a lame, indestructible killer ending which has been filmed millions of times previously. I mean, it's so dull that you just don't care what happens to anybody. The reason I give this film any kind of score is because there are some hilarious moments to savour if you can be bothered to sit through it. A guy's car is possessed and makes him speed through town in one scene, while a woman's body is crushed by a huge weight in another. The funniest bit comes when an overweight man is chased by a squad of killer tools, and the scene of him running, pursued by a flying killer circular saw blade (!) is absolute and utterly brilliant comedy, rivalling The Three Stooges and Laurel and Hardy put together. In fact I would say this is worth tuning in for, just for that one scene. Other than that, the few good moments are obviously the ones involving the Ouija board, but there are far too few of them and the novelty value wears off quickly anyway. WITCHBOARD: THE RETURN passes the time...if you have time to waste. And, unsurprisingly enough, it was followed by WITCHBOARD: THE POSSESSION in 1995.

Writer/Director Kevin S. Tenney returns in this sequel to his 1987 original. Introducing new characters, this story centers around a young woman named Paige (Dolenz) who has left her boyfriend Mitch (Gibbs) to see if she is the artist she thinks she is. She rents an artist's loft to paint, but finds the Witchboard and begins playing it alone. She contacts the spirit of Susan (Julie Michaels) who was the former resident of her loft and heavy into the occult. Susan communicates to Paige that she was murdered which causes Paige to do some checking on her own of Susan's death. Paige slowly becomes obsessed with the case and the board and gets caught in progressive entrapment like Lynda from the original film did. Unlike the original film in this series, Tenney makes this a story of revenge with Susan's spirit doing the dirty work. Along the way she takes out a handyman and his stuck in the 60's wife Elaine (Newman) in grisly fashion. Elaine's death could be the best of the movie has a giant wrecking ball smashes her into and through her VW Bus she's standing in front of. Like in the original, Tenney has is camera swoop around the apartment in wide angle to show the point of view of the spirit, and once again it is effective. Composer Denis Michael Tenney delivers a well done score that enhances the action on screen. Some good jump scares are included in the form of some intense dream sequences, but some of the original films atmosphere is sadly missing. The revenge plot line just doesn't allow for as many scare opportunities as the first film did. Still, this sequel is a worthy effort and Tenney supplies some good supernatural moments to entertain and scare the audience. There is a great final scene which involves the first films star Todd Allen playing Jim with his friend, also from the original Kenny Rhodes as Mike as garbage men as Jim is telling Mike that Linda just had a baby and they named it Brandon. Cool homage to the original.

Spoilers herein.A truth about horror films is that you don't really visit the world of the story as much as the mind of the filmmaker(s). If there is a strange and scary mind there, you get creeped out. If it is skewed in some way, you can pick it up if there is any competence at all.In this case, we have a story about a haunting, and the camera is placed so that we do that haunting. The story is irrelevant. Everything is focused on the apartment and the sailing ghostly eye that observes. We become the ghost.Ted's Evaluation -- 2 of 3: Has some interesting elements.

Shy, pretty, blonde Paige Benedict (Ami Dolenz) moves into an artists loft apartment, finds a OUIJA board in the closet and starts playing with it, eventually contacting the ghost of Susan Sidney (Julie Michaels), who claims to be a murder victim. Soon other tenants in the building start dying in mysterious ways and the same things happen to Dolenz that did for Tawny Kitaen in the original. It turns out Susan's ghost wants to get revenge on her murderers and while she's at it return to life by possessing Paige.Although unscary, this sequel features good visuals, a few creative murders, likable characters, fine performances (especially the cute and charming Ami Dolenz) and a script with good plot twists. Laraine Newman has a great costarring role as the hippie landlady.