Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

The Worst Film Ever

Simply A Masterpiece

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

That's what it says on the DVD. But this is a nasty movie that laughs at people who make horrible choices. The laughter is more like a giggle from Woody Allen. The fates that befall all these characters can happen, but the execution is cruel--especially regarding the Anthony Hopkins character. The ditsy airhead who is also selfish winds up the happiest---the irony is of course deliberate, and clever, but it looks like Allen just wanted to be mean to people in this movie.

I'm a huge Woody Allen fan and try to make a case for all of his films, and usually, find that quite simple to do; I've met my match with You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. The story of the dissolution of two marriages and the rediscovery one makes of their life after finding themselves divorced and single is one that should have been fine in the hands of Woody Allen. It's far from the uncharted territory for him, but few things about You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger worked. The casting was way off, despite the collective talent, no one seemed to be a match given the motivation of their character. There was very little of the philosophical probing I have come to expect from a Woody Allen film. The entire film was narrated, which again, is something not new to Woody Allen- -but this time it didn't work. I'm thankful for Woody's foray out of America because, without it, we wouldn't have Match Point. I must admit, when Woody's main character, New York, is absent I always miss it. The films of his shot in New York come off much more competently than his films shot elsewhere. Maybe it's just how much Woody loves the city of New York, or simply that I have come to expect that backdrop in a Woody Allen film, I'm not sure, but I certainly miss the city when it's not in one of his films. What I can say about a Woody Allen film that is unique to them; even when I find myself on an outing with Woody where I'm not enjoying the company, I have never wanted to turn one of his films off. I don't feel that way about any other filmmaker, as I usually commit to the idea that life is too short to spend putting time into something you don't like.I'm almost done with his filmography, but Woody Allen has never made me want to turn one of his films off.

This film had promise. It has the core of a fine cast -- Antonio Banderas, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Gemma Jones, and Naomi Watts. But it sort of meanders along highlighting here and there each member of the ensemble cast, and at the end leaves us up in the air with a conclusion for only one of the cast members (Gemma Jones). Everyone else just drifts off into the sunset and we really don't know how things conclude with them. Hiss, hiss, and boo to Woody Allen. The master -- if he ever really was one -- has lost his magic.At first Gemma Jones' character is too annoying, but ultimately she becomes the one gem of the film. Why exactly would Banderas accept his small role in this film. At least Brolin has some decent screen time, even if you won' like his character much. And Anthony Hopkins...well, not his finest work. As to 2 other members of the cast -- Freida Pinto and Lucy Punch -- no thank you...no desire to see them in another film.Pass this one by.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)Simply put, not Woody Allen's best. But it has lots of the trademarks of Allen's films, especially from this late period, and sometimes this one seems about to shine, either in humor or in pathos.It's not quite a roaring comedy, nor a farce, nor a true straight drama. A number of major characters are in relationships that are falling apart or beginning again, often (of course) with infidelity. So Anthony Hopkins plays a wealthy old man who refuses to be old, so he begins working out, popping performance pills, and sleeping with a prostitute (though he apparently thinks she's just a nice actress). And so he leaves his wife. Then there's his wife and her need to start over. There's the prostitute who naturally isn't satisfied with sex with an elderly chap (everything is very British--it's set in London).And that's just one group. An important second group of characters include a couple of writers (their manuscripts become an important small subplot) and their loves. Including the scintillating young woman across the courtyard who practices cello in her window. You might think this is a parody of a dream (I laughed out loud when it first happened because I was sure he was making a joke), but it's taken seriously. In fact, the guy watching her (one of the writers) is a true jerk, and seems to succeed as a jerk. No joke there, either.Etc. It could easily have been a delicious interplay of contemporary characters facing romantic crossed-wires. But the timing is a hair off, the dialog sometimes obvious or sometimes too familiar (like we've seen it before not just in life, but in a Woody Allen movie). There are some touching scenes, and the best parts of the movie are probably the serious ones, but you can't extract those beautiful five minute segments from the more contrived and strained whole.A final clue to Allen's intentions comes from the bland (downright boring) voice-over at the start and end. It means to suggest a lighthearted look at these people (caught in the sound and the fury). And the music in the background shifts the mood in almost silly ways, announcing that the movie is almost an oversized trifle. Or truffle.Too bad. Allen is his brilliant best when he mixes up humor and tragedy, and he's great at both. I'm glad he tried. If you love Allen, you should see this and give it a chance. If you don't know his movies or know you don't like them, give some of the great ones another chance. The list is long.