What a waste of my time!!!
Very well executed
Good start, but then it gets ruined
Blistering performances.
So you can best understand the title of this review, let me explain Thunder Levin's "Sharknado". The film features sharks that wait around for Pacific Ocean hurricanes to pick them up and deposit them in Southern California. It features a great deal of dry land shark attacks and even one shark that is able to climb a nylon rope.Thank GOD none of that occurs in "AE: Apocalypse Earth". This movie starts with the Earth under attack by aliens and Noah's Space Ark leaving with some grouchy mercenary who just wants to get back to Earth. What no escape pod?The effects are very poor CGI, so don't expect much there. The one- million dollar budget, must have been spent on the body spray for Bali Rodriguez. Most of the time, she is on screen makes me wonder, if they glued the bikini to her nipples. As much time as she spends in the water, they should have use water proof body paints.The explosive crash of the ship makes you wonder how anyone survived without a scratch. There were other flaws, other than the acting, some geeky science that will make even the amateur star gazer laugh. When the crew from the two ships talk about their destinations. The first ship was heading to Alpha Centauri and they state that it has 3 star system but Alpha Centauri is a binary system with only two. The other group say they left for Barnard's Star and claim it is a binary system. Barnard's Star is a red dwarf star about six light-years away from Earth.I caught this "Jane of the Jungle" epic on Netflix today. I guess it's not like I am out any real money. But I wouldn't expect anyone to enjoy watching this unless you are into low budget Tarzan movies.
View MoreThat is saying very little however as After Earth was so poorly done, the worst movie personally seen so far this year with one of the worst ever child performances. As bad as it is though it is a masterpiece compared to the irredeemable dreck that is AE: Apocalypse Earth, one of those Asylum mock-busters that happens to "taking inspiration from" After Earth. AE: Apocalypse Earth is not quite down there with The Asylum's worst movies but it's in the lower end. If there is one glint of a redeeming quality it's some competent photography at the end. Visually, it is not good at all and that it's low-budget comes through loud and clear. The scenery is very dully rendered and lit, never once drawing us into the setting, while the special effects look as they were made last minute and that the makers ran out of time to properly finish them and the photography and editing in general are an eyesore. The music is generic and forgettable, sometimes derivative also of the score for After Earth(the least bad thing about that film), while the sound effects and quality are murky. The dialogue is often total gibberish, somebody really needs to check that what they're writing makes any kind of sense, and is cheesy and stilted as well. Seeing as this is The Asylum we're talking about, the lack of originality(not just After Earth, Predators and Avatar as well) is something you eventually have to accustom to- no matter how frustrating it is- but the story still fails to be exciting, emotionally investing or remotely interesting for that matter. Instead it is as plodding as the story for After Earth, has the same nonsense and questionable science you expect for the Asylum and any dramatic scenes are mawkish and forced. The characters are not memorable or likable in the slightest, a few are even annoying, the fact that levels of characterisation itself are next to non-existent is a large part of the problem. The direction is flat and characterless, and the acting is so bad from everybody involved it's not worth commenting on, ranging from bored-sounding to irritating. In conclusion, horrible from start to finish. 1/10 Bethany Cox
View MoreBut, I've seen worse, too, although I can't remember exactly when. As has already been pointed out, the acting was not great, although there were a couple of bright spots. Though there was an interesting germ of an idea at the core of this story, the writing was horrible. However, I think the more seasoned actors did the best with what they had. Both Adrian Paul and Richard Grieco have been around for years and have had some pretty good projects in the past and they clearly made an effort. With that said, I'll give it one star for the writing, one for the acting and two more for the two best things about this movie - the Costa Rican scenery and Bali Rodriguez, which I guess could also be considered Costa Rican scenery.
View MoreCan only review the first 12 minutes as it was so poor I switched it off. The movie starts out like you've just switched on the TV and a cheap SCIFI TV episode is half way through, after 2 minutes you wish it was 90% through after a few more minutes you remember that you have the power to end your own misery. I chose to do the washing up instead, I'd advise watching paint dry or cleaning your WC would slao be more entertaining.Why bother with character development, plot or even scripted dialog when you can make a remake of an episode of star trek the next generation and sell it as a movie.
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