Almighty Thor
Almighty Thor
PG | 07 May 2011 (USA)
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Loki destroys the fortress of Valhalla and steals the Hammer of Invincibility, only the young hero Thor can protect Earth from Armageddon.

Reviews
SnoReptilePlenty

Memorable, crazy movie

Teddie Blake

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

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Hayleigh Joseph

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

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Dana

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

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Wytse Venema

This damn film.. I have never seen people act so lifeless. The guy that plays Loki should get a damn razzy for his crapness. The story is ridiculous, and a third along the way they step over into the human world. With they I mean Thor, a pathetic excuse for a norse God (as are the other gods, especially Loki. Screw that guy). And some slack woman, a Valkyrie I don't remember the name of. I just love Syfy. It's laughingly bad. I just shake my head and laugh to myself these days.. I no longer get upset at bad quality TV by them, as it is pretty much what you expect anyway. 1/10 Absolutely laughably bad

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gin_nseven

If I could bottle the greatness of this movie, I could sell it for a thousand Oscars! This one is not to be missed. I was delighted to find this gem on the Space Channel one enchanted evening. I cannot comprehend how this film was not released into the cinema, however I am quite giddy to have the opportunity to PVR this gem for replay after glorious replay! The premise is quite superb. Thor must recover his enchanted hammer, and his travels take him to the farthest regions of imagination, and eventually our own home of earth. However his evil half-brother Loki seeks to thwart the Odin-son's quest by seeking to covet the hammer for his own diabolical scheme. All the while Thor is accompanied by the thoroughly intoxicating Jarnsaxa. The journey and it's climax are beyond my craft of words to describe. Even so I could not do justice to it if I attempted. I will leave all the eloquent story telling left to the movie itself. The acting is superb, with the ready and able Cody "The Real" Deal as the brawn and brains which is Thor. His complete grasp of the essence of the character must be savored with the greatest zest for Nordic gusto. The beautiful and talented Patrica Velasquez is the breathtaking Jarnsaxa who both guides and scolds our hero. Her luminance and enticing demeanor lull us into a trance of such sweet bliss it is easy to see why Mr. Donald Trump selected this raven haired temptress for his latest Celebrity Apprentice! IF mere words could only convey the pleasure she elicits in every line, it would be a most elegant prose!AS for the conniving Loki, he is played by none other than the mufti-talented thespian, Mr. Richard Grieco. Could there be a more charismatic, intelligent, and enigmatic actor out there than him? His, is a true "tour-De-force", a masterpiece of his craft, the very reason the profession of acting exists. His pallid face, and electrified hair are done to perfection, and his black armor belie his evil characters intent. His marches through this role with pure gusto. His command of the theater is a Shakespearean epoch of grandeur. Truly his performance is one that must be savored as the finest wine. Mr. Grieco almost eclipses the movies own greatness, but somehow both work in a synergistic flow that enhance the aura of indescribable epicness.The movie itself is truly a classic tale, and the intricate weave of characters, scenes, and script, make this a mythic masterpiece. Each time I view it, which has been several so far, I notice all the nuance and subtlety that was engineered into this film. One cannot truly be a student of cinema without viewing this movie, dare I call it an experience, in all its grand fullness, at least tenfold. If you have not yet had the rewarding pleasure, go forth and drink of the Nordic myth! Take command of the hammer itself and make, nay! smash your path to this tale of pure ecstasy, and bask in the greatness that is Almighty Thor!

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Matthew Barry

Hard to believe this ever saw commercial release. I have seen better films from school projects. The CGI was pretty poor, but that would be forgivable if the story and acting were even passable. The writing was so poor I was putting words in the actors mouths and there were dozens of moments when a simple one-liner would have given the moment a bit of humour or irony. Instead the actors often gazed blankly at the camera with some sort of expression that looked like they were trying to convey some deep emotion, unfortunately it usually looked like they were trying to remember their lines or had some kind of stomach ailment. Possibly not entirely the actors fault, the script and directing were awful and the editing could be largely to blame as it looked like out-takes were left in to pad out the film. Definitely one of the worst films I have ever seen.

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Cerysdad

Lacking in any merit whatsoever, even as a spoof. This is my only review so far and considering how much of a couch potato I am at the moment, it's a measure of how truly awful this film was that I've made this effort. I thought that I could laugh at/with almost anything. This film is so far from my almost universal sense of humour and tolerance for low standards that you'd need a telescope to see it ... utterly dreadful. I didn't even realise that it was a spoof until googling it a few minutes ago and even then can't believe that the critic found it in any way creditable at all.It only needs to have a passing acquaintance with the source material so I really don't have a problem with that. I can also accept relatively poor acting. Even if this was negligently acted on purpose, it was indeed poorly executed. In fact, I initially thought that this was a poorly dubbed foreign film.It didn't flow, was poorly edited, and had special effects that the original series of Dr. Who would have been ashamed of. OK, that's an exaggeration, but considering current levels of technology this film's makers have proved far less able to utilise the technology available. The script/dialogue had me doing so many cartoon double takes that I felt like my neck would snap. I'm not going to dignify the film by providing a plot line ... I wouldn't want my synopsis to accidentally entice someone to watch the film.I can honestly say that I only continued watching because I couldn't believe it to be so inept. I fell asleep at one point and had to reverse in order not to miss any of the fatigue inducing experience at all ... I want to be able to say that I managed to watch all of it. This is probably not the worst film ever made, but it's certainly the worst I've ever watched. Feel free to try it out but it's not worth your time and I certainly hope no-one paid any money to watch it. Even as a spoof, it's a complete waste of minutes of your life. I need a shower now just to wash the experience away. I'd seek memory loss but then I'd run the risk of accidentally watching it again.

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