Dreadfully Boring

Boring, long, and too preachy.

This is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

I'm not saying that Chris Farley was crap in the movie, it just concentrated too much for Matthew Perry. I honestly thought Perry wasn't the best as the leading role. Maybe for a comedy television show series like 'Friends' but definitely not a western comedy film.I didn't really like his narrative accent or his accent, it sounded really dull and boring to hear. Why couldn't they get David Spade back for just once chance to be involved with Farley again?! I thought the men joining them were a joke because they shouldn't appear thick in the head. They should appear as brave men risking for their entire lives to be at sea. Didn't the film crew ever think of this?The movie may have been the worst Farley took a big risk with, but he was still a legend as always and that he still is remained on peace on this very day. RIP

I learned something interesting from watching Almost Heroes. A comedy is either funny or not funny. This is obvious. However, a comedy can be many different types of funny, but there is only one type of not funny. Almost Heroes is not funny. It's really pretty awful. Sadly, it's the last starring role for the late and great Chris Farley. He plays Bartholomew Hunt who, along with Leslie Edwards, played by Matthew Perry, sets out to explore the great uncharted West and reach the Pacific ocean before the much more famous Lewis and Clark. Edwards, Hunt, and a band of unintelligent misfits set out on this great journey and hilarity should have ensued, but unfortunately it does not.Almost Heroes isn't trying to accomplish anything except entertain its audience and make them laugh. I've said it before but when it comes to a film like this is can only pass or fail based on my own personal laugh-o-meter. For this flick the meter was pretty silent throughout, with only a chuckle or two here and there. It's all silliness with no hint of cleverness or creativity. The writing is uninspired and even the acting is undesirable, which is surprising for a man like Chris Farley. It's just a dreadfully stupid film.I've seen films less funny than this, of course, and I've seen comedies that are just so brain dead they make me angry. Almost Heroes isn't quite one of those comedies but it certainly doesn't have any redeeming qualities. The only reason I gave it a shot was because of the director, Christopher Guest, who I'm a huge fan of because of things like Best in Show and A Mighty Wind. Almost Heroes is far behind those two works of comedic genius and I wouldn't recommend it to even the biggest Guest fan. It kept me entertained for an hour and a half, but overall it's a waste of time and not worth watching.

There are many unanswered questions that surround this TBS Superstation staple. Questions like: Who greenlit a picture of two incompetent explorers (played by Chris Farley and Matthew Perry, no less) who "compete" with Lewis and Clark in traveling across the country? Why did Christopher Guest (yeah, the one who specializes in mockumentaries) decide to make this mostly gross-out flick for teens? Exactly how spooky is that scene where Farley out-drinks an entire conquistador fleet? And why, oh why, was there a butt-shot of Eugene Levy? Maybe these questions are partly why I like this film far more than I should. Another reason may be that it showcases Farley the best of his final given films (the eagle's egg scene shows why fans adored him; flawless slapstick, all by himself... and a prop eagle). Another may be Perry's hilarious performance (he's at the height of his Chandler wit, which is all I really want to see him do). No matter how ridiculous the premise is, there actually are some genuinely funny ideas and moments in Almost Heroes, like old but nimble braves and a fellow traveler who, ignorantly and unwillingly, is dished out almost all of the group's natural suffering. My favorite scene is really more just a gag: The team of sweetly dumb pioneers gives in to fear of animals and take fire at one squirrel. My main question after watching Almost Heroes: How many more laughs could Farley have given us had he not passed away so early? My guess: Way more than Adam Sandler.

Let me just say I am by no means a fan of Chris Farley. He's done a few good things, understood physical comedy and might have someday been the next big thing. But he's not, in retrospect, anything amazing. Everyone knows "Black Sheep" and "Tommy Boy" are the same movie, and all he really gave to this film was the same shtick of flapping his arms and grunting. Which is not my cup of tea. And Matthew Perry? Maybe he's just ingrained in my mind as Chandler Bing, but this role seemed so wrong.This is the story of two men who are trying to race Lewis and Clark to the Pacific Ocean in 1804. Although, this is only the background to a film about Perry trying to steal another man's wife and an ongoing battle against a Spaniard obsessed with his hair.The film is not really very funny (especially after you write off Farley) and seemed to me to be in a similar vein to "Cannibal the Musical", except being that Cannibal was infinitely funnier and relied on no name actors and no budget. So, thank you Hollywood for blowing millions on a film that was poorly made and not very special... I'm sure Farley wanted this to be his swan song.I have nothing really great to say about this film, but I don't want to keep tearing it a new one because I already know people stand against me on this. Well, they can have this movie and watch it until their DVD player starts smoking. I hope I never see this film ever again. (Although, I guess after recently seeing "The Ringer" I could have done worse.)