What a waste of my time!!!

One of my all time favorites.

n my opinion it was a great movie with some interesting elements, even though having some plot holes and the ending probably was just too messy and crammed together, but still fun to watch and not your casual movie that is similar to all other ones.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

Bordello of Blood (1996) ** 1/2 (out of 4) When Katherine's (Erika Eleniak) brother Caleb (Corey Feldman) goes missing, she hires private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) to find him. Guttman traces the brother to an old funeral home, which is also being used for prostitution and in a major twist the hostess Lilith (Angie Everhart) is a vampire.BORDELLO OF BLOOD was the second Tales from the Crypt movie that was made by Universal but after it turned out to be a box office disappointment it pretty much killed the series. That's really too bad because this one here is actually a decent exploitation movie that throws in a lot of gore and nudity as well as some comedy that works more than it doesn't.What I enjoyed most about this film is that it really crosses a line that most mainstream movies wouldn't do and that's basically become a rather trashy exploitation movie. There are all sorts of beautiful women on display here and the camera certainly doesn't shy away from their nude body parts. The introduction to the whore house is something that seems out of a drive-in flick from the 1970s and there are also some wonderful special effects, which include countless bloody death scenes.The film also benefits from a fun cast including Miller who does a very good job as the smart-mouthed jerk of a private eye who constantly has something funny to say. Eleniak is someone I really enjoyed watching back in the day and she too is good here. Feldman was making his return to the genre and he's a lot of fun as well, although it's too bad he goes missing throughout a large portion of the film. William Sadler has a cameo as a mummy and Chris Sarandon is also good playing a Reverend. Everhart is perfectly cast as the sexy vampire.As with DEMON KNIGHT, the biggest problem with this film is that it pretty much runs out of story and there's just not enough here to carry on the 87-minute running time. It's really too bad that a few more plot elements weren't thrown in but the final twenty-minutes really start to drag a bit, although the ending is great.

Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing brother Caleb (Corey Feldman). Rafe's search leads him to a brothel run by centuries-old vampire Lilith (Angie Everhart). The second of the 'Tales from the Crypt Presents' movies is nowhere near as good as the criminally underrated Demon Knight. It's not a scary movie, nor does it really try to be. It's a comedy, with Dennis Miller having a ball throwing out one liner after one liner. If only the rest of the movie matched his performance. The story is so slight you'll wonder if the entire script was jotted down on a napkin. The movie's primary selling point is sex and nudity, of which there is not a lot. Especially disappointing when you consider that the two most well-known women in the film, Everhart and Eleniak, never appear nude. Still, a fun tone with a great turn by Miller makes it worth watching once.

The only problem with this movie is Dennis Miller. Well, then there is Corey Feldman, O.K. the only two problems with this movie are Dennis Miller and Corey Feldman. The actual story, y'know, the story the producers should have gone with, is the story of the TV preacher played by Chris Sarandon and his deal with Angie Everhart's Lilith. That's the story, that's where all the life is. Dennis Miller seems merely inserted into the action, like he got some points in his contract where he gets his own movie in exchange for services to be rendered later, so he is retrofitted into some script, in this case a Tales From The Crypt thing. It all comes off so forced and superfluous to the plot. That and Dennis Miller has no charisma, he's is an unpleasant little man devoid of life and vitality. But you do get to see some titties.

I was surprised to notice that this flick has a low rating. Overall the movie wasn't bad at all. But you have to understand Tales From The Crypt. It is more black comedy than horror of course, starting with the crypt keeper. So many people out there find that guy annoying. He doesn't bore me, I was lucky to meet the crypt keeper in real life, John Kassir is his name, a really nice guy. Why is everybody on his back? The movie itself is never gory of course but it delivers a lot of blood and in this case a lot of nudity, if you have the full uncut version, here in Europe the movie is cut with 20 minutes. Just for the tits, weird. It's full of one liners just like the crypt keeper himself, when the master vampire, who works at a bordello, puts her tongue into a guys throat she goes search his heart with her tongue, of course he dies, and she said, men likes women who goes deep throat. Another example is cutting of the head of a guy by saying, I love men giving me head. and that's what most people hate about this movie, the one liners. I though it was a great movie, great effects and great performances, sad but true, when I visited LA I visited the church used in this film, never saw Lilith...