Too much of everything

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

BOTM isn't quite the delirious howler like PLAN 9, but it sure has its fair share of giggles. The atomic salad-bowl helmet is a treat (and makes a cameo appearance in Ed's NIGHT OF THE GHOULS as well). But Bela doesn't "shine" as much as he struggles through it all with the tattered remains of his dignity. For that alone, we applaud him. If you want to see what a great character actor he truly was, check out his performance as Ygor in SON OF FRANKENSTEIN and GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN.Dracula will always be his signature role, but when he fit the bill he did it flawlessly. If you've never seen him in Universal's THE RAVEN by all means do! Even the lesser productions such as DEVIL BAT and THE HUMAN MONSTER are delightfully sinister. He is sorely missed.

I sat down to watch this movie expecting something awful - boy was I not let down. First let's make sense of th story. Polliwogs fall up into the tree and sink in quicksand. Drinking jello-shots, torn blue jeans fill empty drinks with marshmallows. Once the marbles are finished chasing deflated pillows, penguins must burp up logs of toaster-waste. An army of warts gang up on a pair of Tuesdays and chill their frog-eyes with spaghetti sauce. (Scared yet?). Ole MacDonald and his farm sing a pistachio to sleep and staple papers to the walls. But then...yes then...I stopped dreaming and drank my milk. Mmmmm-mmmm good. Testimonial echoes beneath sheltered hamstrings and rusty face-plates...crying the silent cheers of boredom. Chisel me some jello-art and Un-smell my feet for half a league onward road hemlock and tomato plants. Phew...that was tough...but I think I summed up Ed Wood. Oh...and this is the finest movie wish I could Un-see.

There has long been a good deal of debate within certain circles about the identity of the worst director ever. These days, the most common response would probably be Michal Bey. True, his movies suck, but they're still good enough to bring in millions for their studios. Others would point to German director Uwe Bol, whose series of video game adaptations has resulted in a petition calling for him to never direct again. Last I heard, this petition has over 10,000 signatures. I personally would choose the little known Coleman Francis, creator of such atrocities as The Beast of Yucca Flats and Night Train to Mundo Fine.But one name that keeps popping up is that of Edward T Wood. Unlike most B movie directors, Wood wasn't in it just to get a paycheck and see his name in the credits. Wood was hardworking, earnest, and oh so eager to make a good movie. But the fact was, he lacked any formal training or innate skill. He has a reputation for making guys like Roger Corman and Bert I. Gordon look like Spielberg. I've known for some time now that I had to see (and most likely ridicule) his work, and I decided to start with his second film, Bride of the Monster.Bride is truly remarkable in that it is made entirely of clichés. The mad scientist, the hulking, mute henchman, the hard nosed reporter and her boyfriend the cop, the mysterious character who may know more than he's telling, even the dark and stormy night; they're all here. The scientist (played by Bella Lugosi!) has created a process that can turn normal human beings into giants with 'the strength of twenty men'- if it doesn't kill them, which is what's happened to every test subject so far. With this process, he seeks to- all together now- conquer the world and gain vengeance on those who have wronged him.Like all self respecting mad scientists, he has a monster to guard his lab, in this case an octopus. In most scenes, the octopus is brought to life through the magic of stock footage. But for scenes where the creature deals with the professor's unwanted guests, Wood used a mechanical octopus, reportedly stolen from the Republic Studios lot. But he forgot to steal the motor, so it's painfully obvious that the actors are just writhing around and moving the tentacles themselves. Fortunately for viewers, this spectacle is as funny as it is pathetic.It's also worth noting that most of the people in this movie are idiots. For instance, the pair of hunters in the opening scene run from the mad scientist and his henchman even though both of them have guns. And the pretty young reporter thinks that it's a good idea for her to go investigate the old house in the middle of the swamp on her own. For that matter, why is she the first one to look into the house? By this point, twelve people have gone missing in the swamp, and rumors of a monster abound. Hasn't it occurred to the police that they might want to take a look at the only building in the swamp? I suppose if they had the pretty girl never would have found herself in peril, and then we wouldn't get the climactic final scene in which the police arrive to save her. Oops, I just gave away the ending! The bottom line is that nothing in this movie is done right. The actors convey no more emotion than if they had been reading from a teleprompter, their lines sound like they were written by an eight year old, production values are abysmal, and the entire plot is an exercise in predictability, which relies on people doing the dumbest thing possible in every situation.But the whole thing has such an earnest, amateurish feel that it's still watchable. It's a bad movie, no doubt about that, but it does have an almost endearing campiness to it. This is the kind of movie that Mystery Science Theatre 3000 was made to showcase, and show it they did, in one of their best episodes.

Bride Of The Monster was Bela Lugosi's last completed film and was done for that legendary director of bad movies, Ed Wood, Jr. At least Lugosi didn't live to see Plan Nine From Outer Space, he was spared that humiliation.Once again Bela is a mad scientist who has a scheme to create a race of atomic supermen and he's got a great old prototype in Tor Johnson formerly the Swedish Angel of pro wrestling fame. In fact Tor's nocturnal wanderings have given rise to a monster legend in and around Lugosi's secluded digs in the woods. That and the pet giant octopus he keeps around for no discernible reason other than to dispose of unwanted guests.Bela has all kinds of people on his trail, the cops, a Lois Lane type reporter who is girlfriend to one of the cops and another scientist from Lugosi's home country who wants to bring him back so he can do his work there. Bela however is a believer that a prophet has no honor in his home country and disposes of that unwanted guest via the octopus.The octopus and Ed Wood's inability to use it somewhat realistically are the main reasons that this Ed Wood classic is remembered today. I just read a very thorough biography of Lugosi and the rubber octopus was the one John Wayne struggled with in Wake Of The Red Witch. It was the property of Republic Pictures. But Republic was slowly going out of business so Wood got the thing from Herbert J. Yates somehow, he rented it, Yates sold it to him in a fire sale, or he just gave it to him there not being a big market for giant rubber octopuses. Now that thing would bring thousands of dollars in an on line auction if it still exists. Even with a missing tentacle, broken off during the shooting of Bride Of The Monster.Not much else to recommend it, cheesy sets, acting on the junior high school level, and a man with no eye for special effects directing this epic. Still worth a few laughs though.