Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

Crystal Fairy is one of the most pointless films I think I've ever watched. It's not trying to be avant-garde and it's not trying to be mainstream, it lingers somewhere inbetween without reason. It has little story, with no plot and hence, goes nowhere from the start. Michael Cera is somewhat fun to watch, but the film as a whole has no motive to make you enjoy it. I can see where the film wanted to go, this exotic road trip, but it fails so many times that it feels like you are watching an idea that could have been unfold into this series of pointless images. Crystal Fairy and The Magic Cactus is one of those boring films with no substance to give you anything to keep you watching. Michael Cera is possibly the only reason for you to pick this movie up with no other big names.

Gaby Hoffman makes this film. She parades around naked, seemingly in a permanent state of euphoria, extolling the most hippy dippy claptrap philosophies about inner peace and finding yourself since the Swingin' Sixties. When she isn't behaving like a Looney Toon, she can be discovered doodling away in her sketchbook, which is full of oblique drawings. And her armpit hair! I hope that forest of follicles is fake... Otherwise Hoffman must have had to use fertiliser to grow it that thick. I bet the second the movie was complete, those shears were out and moving at a record speed.She is accompanying Michael Cera and his three rather underdrawn Mexican friends on a quest to find a rare cacti plant, which when liquidised and drunk. is supposed to give you the ultimate high. They plan to imbibe this miracle brew on the beach, under the stars... the setting is everything, right? Cera himself has shades of being a public school boy twit... you can tell by his put-on mannerisms and his laboured talk about drugs he's completely out of his depth. He reminds me of the kid in the video for 'Pretty Fly For A White Guy', in that every scene of him trying to be 'cool' is Cringe City.The story is simple in structure, has no big surprises along the way and probably could be told in half the length. Yet, there is something oddly endearing about these five young wash-outs... (Not Cera though, he's just annoying) their friendship and journey is enough to keep all but the most impatient viewer glued to the screen. And when Crystal Fairy's tragic past is exposed towards the end, it is a highly effective moment which, in hindsight, explains an awful lot. Can you say 'coping mechanism'? You could, and I suspect you'd be correct. 6/10

I don't understand these deeply esoteric character portraits of some seriously completely unrealistic, demented, BORING people. I find the characters in this movie, especially the fairy, to be utterly ridiculous, and would only actually be found in a mental institution. No one like her could realistically survive outside of one.I mean, what do these people do for a living? How do they even makes ends meet, afford clothing, food, a shelter, let alone other belongings? All they do is go on and on about nothing. Sleep fest.The truly disturbing part of this movie was these pictures the main character finds near the end of the movie.They actually showed a CLOSEUP of a man being sodomized by a woman with a strap-on, with ACTUAL PENETRATION. I'm NEVER going to get that out of my mind. Be WARNED if something like this bothers you.How the hell did this pass the censors? Penetration is strictly forbidden in rated R movies and even rated X movies!! Not to mention you saw a closeup of an angle that showed the penetration, his scrotum and penis. WHAT?! They would NEVER allow a shot like this to be taken of a woman, even without any penetration. Why is that? You can't even show a labia in R-rated movies (which I agree with), so why so much penis and scrotum? I'll never understand why one is OK but not the other.There's never a close up of something like this, male or female, in even soft-core porn (X-rated movies).Is this a preview of things to come? There's been more penis in movies made in the past 8 years, even closeups, than from all of the movies from 1940-2000 combined. What's going on here? Do audiences want to see this? I'm pretty sure the vast majority doesn't.

Review: I actually enjoyed this movie because I have been in a simian type of environment before. The whole movie has a kind of independent look to it which really suits the films tone. The characters were a great choice, especially the weird and wonderful Crystal Fairy who was really in her own world. I liked the fact that there was a whole meaning to the film and that all of the characters were on there own mission. It's not very often that you find movies that don't have that much dialogue, but the meaning and feel to what the director is trying to portray, really flows out with the actions of each character. For a film that isn't a bit blockbuster, it's worth a watch but if your expecting explosions and CGI then this is not the movie for you. Enjoyable!Round-Up: We are really beginning to see a different side to Michael Cera, who usually plays the crystal clean characters that can't do no wrong. I think that he was getting fed up with getting type casted. It's amazing to think that the the girl that plays Crystal Fairy is actually the kid out of Field Of Dreams & Uncle Buck. Anyway, she played a very convincing part in this film and it cracked me up when they called her Crystal Hairy. I recommend this movie to people who are into there road movies about a group of teenagers tripping out on Cactus juice. 5/10