You won't be disappointed!

Too much about the plot just didn't add up, the writing was bad, some of the scenes were cringey and awkward,

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

Good-looking diamond miner Jack Gilbert (as Hugh Rand) shows visiting dignitary "Lord Stonehill" Ernest Torrence (as Steve) and his daughter around the South African "Crown Diamond Mines" before taking them out on a hunting trip. While looking forward to seeing a white woman, everyone expects "Lady" Mary Nolan (as Diana) to be unattractive, but she is unveiled as a beautiful blonde. As you might expect, Mr. Gilbert and Ms. Nolan are mutually aroused...All is not, however, as it seems...Nolan is revealed not to be the daughter, but the lover of dastardly "father" Torrence. The criminal pair plotted to abduct the real Lord Stonehill, and rob Gilbert at gunpoint. Succeeding in their deception, Torrence and Nolan take Gilbert hostage, and flee across the hot Kalahari desert. Then, "Desert Nights" becomes a tale of greed and desire, as the three struggle to survive with dwindling water in the hot sands. Gilbert's last "silent" is a fairly sound production.****** Desert Nights (3/9/29) William Nigh ~ John Gilbert, Ernest Torrence, Mary Nolan, Claude King

Desert Nights (1929) *** (out of 4)John Gilbert's final silent picture is a pretty interesting one even if its reputation isn't that high. In the film he plays Hugh Rand, a diamond mine owner in South Africa. One day a father (Ernest Torrence) and daughter (Mary Nolan) show up on invitation for some good hunting but it turns out they're a pair of thieves who take Hugh hostage as well as steal $500,000 in diamonds. The three head off into the desert for their escape but soon they're out of water and not sure which way to go so the thieves must depend on Hugh to save their lives. Watching this film there's no doubt that it was rushed together just to save time before MGM had to put Gilbert into a sound feature. I'm really not sure why they selected this one to remain silent as the material could have made for an interesting early talkie but I must say it's a good thing that they kept it silent. The movie runs an extremely quick 62-minutes and for the most part is very entertaining. The reason I say it works best as a silent is because of the hot sexuality throughout the film between Gilbert and Nolan. The two of them certainly heat up the screen and this is apparent early on in a simple dinner sequence where the two begin to get to know one another. Just the way they look at one another just tells you all the sexual undertones you'll need to know. Once the film moves out to the desert it picks up the entertainment as it's clear Gilbert's character is just having fun tormenting the two thieves by constantly reminding them that death is near. I really loved the way Gilbert played the role in a sort of madness that his character finally breaks through and decides to have some fun with the people who kidnapped him. The way he torments the "Father" by coming onto the girl was a lot of fun and just added to the sexual tension running through the film. Gilbert is a lot of fun in the role as he gets to play that tough guy everyone loved him as and I'm sure the women really ate up seeing him burning in that hot sun. Torrence is a real blast as the bad guy as he eats up every scene he's in and you can't help but love to hate him. He's such a arrogant jerk at the start of the film so it's fun seeing him tortured by Gilbert. Nolan is incredibly beautiful in her role and this includes a great sequence with her bathing naked. We don't actually see anything but the implications of the scene are easy to see. Her and Gilbert really burn up the screen and make it worth sitting through. In many ways this film reminds me of a silly serial that has just about everything happening. This film offers up some nice tension but there's also plenty of sexuality, comedy and even camp value especially the scene with the machine gun tied on the side of a car. Fans of silent cinema will really eat this thing up but even those who aren't fans will probably find themselves having fun.

John Gilbert plays Hugh Rand, manager at the Crown Diamond Mines in Africa, he hasn't been near a woman in three years. When a Lord and his daughter, Lady Diana (played by Mary Nolan), are to visit the Mines as a first stop before a hunting trip, Rand expects a bow-legged, cross-eyed "old maid". But surprise! - Diana is a beauty and soon sparks are flying between the two as they can't stop gazing at each other across the dinner table and share a lovely waltz together as daddy accompanies them on piano. Soon another surprise though - Lord and Lady are actually impostors and crooks. They steal a sack of diamonds and set off across the blazing hot desert with Rand as their hostage. When their African escorts leave them in the lurch, the thieves must turn to their hostage to help them out of the desert and soon they find out there is something of more value to them than diamonds - water!With glistening sun and black shadows, this film is expertly photographed. John Gilbert comes across as a handsome charmer, and his co-star, beautiful Mary Nolan, handles her role nicely. The film includes a pleasing orchestral score that really suits this story well. I found this film to be quite a good one.

Kidnapped by jewel thieves, the manager of a British diamond mining operation in Africa spends long DESERT NIGHTS plotting his escape...John Gilbert is most enjoyable in this lively yarn, his last starring performance in a silent film (he would appear in the William Haines' picture A MAN'S MAN, which was released a few months after DESERT NIGHTS, but that was in a cameo role as himself). His verve & vitality propel the (sometimes silly) plot and make the movie into a very enjoyable action picture.Ernest Torrence - in a fine portrayal - makes a florid, hammy villain. Beautiful Mary Nolan enacts the sort of woman any red-blooded male viewer would gladly walk the Kalahari to gain.By 1929 silent films were truly an art form in their own right. (Witness the piano sequence early in the picture, with Gilbert & Nolan waltzing on the porch, to see the kind of nuance possible in this not-so-silent medium.) MGM was at the apex of the industry & Jack Gilbert was the Studio's greatest male star. Which is what makes DESERT NIGHTS so poignant. Before the year ended silent cinema, that most emotionally penetrating of all the photo dramas, would be dead & Gilbert's career would be dying. A new crop of stars would be on the rise & Noise would be king.