not horrible nor great

Dreadfully Boring

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

Good old Ruggero Deodato. He made his name in the late '70s/early '80s with his video nasty cannibal flicks, and then he delivered a series of ridiculous horror films in the 1980s along the lines of BODY COUNT, PHANTOM OF DEATH and DIAL: HELP, the most ridiculous of them all (at least THE WASHING MACHINE didn't feature a killer appliance!). Perhaps the most surprising thing about this film is that, in a way, it works. Sure, it's a stupid as the killer snails in Lucio Fulci's AENIGMA, but that doesn't stop it from being an enjoyable effort – for all the wrong reasons.The biggest draw for the male viewer is the actress in the leading role. Charlotte Lewis might be forgotten today, but back in the late '80s, she was a big star after her turn in THE GOLDEN CHILD. Why she signed up for this role is unknown, but the emphasis is on her throughout: perhaps surprised that he got a popular actress in his film for once, Deodato strives to include Lewis in almost every shot. Her acting might not be so hot, but Lewis certainly is an utterly beautiful woman, half-British and half-Arabic. She emits oozing sexuality throughout the flick and guys will be in for a treat, as she strips down to some sexy underwear for basically the last half hour, with some brief nudity thrown into the mix in a hilarious, inexplicable, frolicking bathtub moment. The sexiest woman ever seen in a film? Possibly – she sure is up there at the top.Now, it's important to remember that the 1980s was the decade of excess, and nothing was done in half measures. You think the idea of a killer telephone is stupid, you know there are going to be plenty of ridiculous scenes in this film. I was surprised, though, at how effective some of the supernatural moments are: shots of a neglected office, complete with a corpse in the cupboard, are atmospheric and fun's to be had from the spooky voices and noises from the receiver, like in WHITE NOISE. Such moments are tempered by the utterly ridiculous kills thrown in every now and then: folk are strangled by telephone cords and electrocuted, while two particular deaths are notable for their cheesiness. The first is cameoing William Berger, whose pacemaker explodes out of his chest in an ALIEN-style kill. The other is a would-be rapist, hunting Lewis in the subway, who's killed when coins fly out of a public call box, hitting him with the impact of bullets! Also be sure to check out the delirious climax, in which Lewis is strapped to a desk with tape, while menaced by possessed fans and scissors. All cheesy highlights in a fun B-movie.Another surprise is Deodato himself: he does good work here, putting in some nice chase sequences, especially with that creepy guy in the subway. His camera-work is quality and he adds a veneer to the film that it probably shouldn't have. Alright, so the acting isn't up to much – especially the awful Carola Stagnaro, who I was surprised to find appeared in Argento flicks – but when a film is this much fun, you don't care. DIAL: HELP: the epitome of '80s cheese, a dumb idea resulting in an oddly successful little movie.

Man, it's really difficult to make a haunted phone seem scary, eh? Ruggero Deodato tries his best, but I can't help get the feeling that it might have occurred to him halfway through that this might not have been the best idea. However, what you have is the eightiest looking late eighties Italian horror ever. Eighties! Model Jenny arrives in Rome looking for her buddy Marco, but ends up dialling the wrong number and getting through to a haunted answer machine system that lives in an abandoned building left over from Blade Runner. After killing a random cleaner with a telephone cord around the neck, the ghosts now start stalking Jenny all over Rome, via the power of the telephone exchange! Just as well mobile phones weren't widely available by this point or Jenny would have been screwed.She goes to her apartment (which, strangely, is full of pictures of herself), and also meets neighbour Ramon (I think that was his name) who has the hots for her. She's also got another buddy and there's a photographer called Carmen too. God, it's hard enough to sustain a review of this film, which should give you an idea of what it's like to actually watch it.The haunted phones basically stalk Jenny around the place, killing of her mates (Carmen is stalked by a phone in a rather unscary sequence), and Deodato starts throwing everything he can at the screen, from a would be rapist being torn to shred by flying phone tokens, to Jenny getting all possessed, wearing lingerie and writhing about in a bath filled with what looked like pish, to William Berger turning up for about thirty seconds before his heart explodes out his chest. Berger, as an aside, seems to be the John Carridine of late eighties Italian horror, turning up in Maya and Spider Labyrinth (both of which are better than this film).Mind you, all credit must be due to actress Charlotte Lewis. Having to looked scared (or turned on by) a telephone is hard work, as is spouting lines like "The telephone is trying to kill me". The film is helped by being set in Rome too, so you'll get to see the Piazza Navona, Castello Sant' Angelo and the Spanish Steps as Jenny goes around being told not to use phones and then using phones. Ruggero's no Bruno Mattei when it comes to directing either, so it's all done rather well…except it's about a haunted phone.In fact, now that I remember, Ruggero made a film about a haunted washing machine too, so maybe he thought it was a good idea? This one was okay but most of the grade here comes from the high cheese factor.

Whilst this is by no means a great film I found it intriguing. As a film starring one of my favourite actresses (Charlotte Lewis) I have long sought it on DVD and now I have watched it I am glad that I have managed to add it to my collection. The premise of the story is a lovely young model who seems to be haunted and attacked through various phones. Perhaps the idea is not well realised through the film but I understood the plot and the final denouement was neatly executed. Could easily visualise this as an X-File and dare I say that Charlotte made for a lovely Scully to broaden the parallel!! For Charlotte fans, like myself, I would recommend it but as a casual viewer you might find it lacks the impact you might expect from other films in the genre.

I admit, I was taken in by the provocative stills of Charlotte Lewis from this film, as well as a comment on the IMDb message board devoted to her, calling this picture a "great underrated film". And so I got, with great difficulty, my own copy of "Dial Help".What a waste.Nothing but a cheaply-made blood and gore movie with a ridiculous premise which I'm not even going to repeat, with several telegraphed sequences (for instance, when we see Lewis lovingly feeding her fish, we know right away what's going to happen to them later). Not even Lewis, with her beautiful raven hair, large and luminous brown eyes, full and pouty lips, and stunning figure, can save this film. Lewis fans would be better off with "Bare Essentials", "Sketch Artist", or even "Golden Child".