The movie runs out of plot and jokes well before the end of a two-hour running time, long for a light comedy.

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

Some of the writing for "Dinosaur Island" reminded me of Woody Allen's zany comedies from the 1970s. Only Woody didn't have a tribe of prehistoric women who look like they all could be "Playboy" centerfolds, or some of the most hilarious sock puppet dinosaurs to ever roam an island. How about the scene where one of the men tries to impress a voluptuous babe by cooking her a Pterodactyl he supposedly killed for her. "Funny this tastes more like turtle" remarks the babe, as he pushes away a turtle shell behind him. There is ample nudity, a ridiculous story, and bad acting. The film is entertaining all the way through, and way up there on the "B movie" chuckles scale.

My friends must tire of hearing me say, "I watch the bad movies so you don't have to." I average about 600 movies a year (really)...and most of them are bad. DI wouldn't even make it into the bottom 100 movies I've seen, in spite of what some reviewers have stated. It is obviously self-mocking and completely tongue-in-cheek, intended as a bit of soft-core disposable fluff. There are absolutely no pretensions.As far as the FX, I've seen much worse in many recent independent (and major studio) releases. Plus, the editing is coherent (even if the continuity is deliberately uneven) and you can actually hear the dialogue.As far as the plot, it actually has one, even if it's as silly as a Carol Burnett sketch. (BTW, the "healing boobs" scene is pretty sly.) Anyway, there's a lot more pretentious junk than this to watch, so give it a try some evening when you've had a few drinks and you need something disposable.

Q: Who has two thumbs extended upward after watching "Dinosaur Island" on Netflix? A: The re-animated zombie corpse of Roger Ebert. Oh, and me, though that would make it four thumbs, not two.You know that you're in the heart of Cheese-and-Sleaze Land when a movie begins with a closeup of a wild-eyed, wild-haired jungle beast of a woman screaming like a banshee at the camera while wearing little more than thongs and a thong, bare-breasted except for body paint in a color bearing a surprising resemblance to Boise State Bronco Blue. Any hope you may have for this film's potential to elevate and celebrate life vanishes a moment later, when the camera cuts away to two parallel lines of scantily clad women brandishing spears and chanting rhythmically before a rough-hewn altar, upon which a woman writhing in a fur bikini struggles against the vines tethering her arms to the altar's towering sides (though even a casual inspection reveals that the vines are looped around her wrists, not tied, and would probably fall limply to the ground if she would just open her hands and turn loose of them).Why is she tied--er, looped to the altar? She's a Snackable in a fur-bikini wrapper, a squirming sacrifice to the Great One--a snarling, bellowing Tyrannosaurus Rex rendered in stop-motion animation so shaky and erratic as to call to mind an image of Michael J. Fox doing an impression of Elvis dancing to "All Shook Up." With more gratuitous nudity than one of Calvin Klein's wet dreams; with dime-store plastic dinosaurs brought to life through ham-handed, conspicuous special effects that are almost capable of momentarily startling a slow-witted four-year-old child; and with acting more stiff, self-conscious, and unnatural than a break-dancing Mitt Romney, "Dinosaur Island" is 85 minutes of mediocrity sinking into banality under the weight of the director's apathy and the actors' indifference, most notable in the end for its almost complete lack of talent, wit, or imagination.I ranked it four out of five stars on Netflix, in the hope that Netflix will start tossing more flicks like it my way. I would've given it five stars, but I don't want Netflix to think that I lack discerning taste and a refined artistic sensibility.

The late night movie channels, home of such vast quantities (and I do mean the last two syllables of the word "quantities") of tripe, beckon. And I find Dinosaur Island, courtesy of not just Jim Wynorsky, but also Fred Olen Ray. If you recognise those names, you will know exactly the sort of film we're in for. And it ain't good.A small group of military men crash land on a tropical-ish island. This island is inhabited by a) dinosaurs (hence the title), and b) attractive young women in fur bikinis. Conveniently, the number of young women is the same as the number of military men. A plot - I can't believe I have dignified it with the word "plot" - involves fighting the dinosaurs and having sex with the women.Let me say at the outset that this film isn't entirely without merit. There are actually some witty lines in the script here and there, Antonia Dorian is gorgeous in (and out of) her fur bikini, and there is a fairly large scale dinosaur model/puppet/suit which features.Less praiseworthy, but worth remarking on, are the presence of Michelle Bauer (overexposed in more ways than several, but still decorative) and Griffin Drew (including implants), and a small quantity of extremely bad stop-frame animation used to bring certain dinosaurs to, er, life.The big trick used here, though, is forced perspective. Thus, there is no need to finance a giant egg prop - you use a normal egg near the camera and have your actors 50 yards away point in the right direction to make it look as if they are pointing at the egg near the camera. Or they run away, as if chased by a dinosaur, while a small scale dinosaur close to the camera is manipulated to look as though it is chasing them. Of course, it helps if both the close and distant items are focused the same. And it helps as if the dinosaur model doesn't look as if you just bought it from a toy shop. And it helps if your models aren't grounded in normal sized (and scaled) foliage, thus making them look like the models they are.The cheap, tatty special effects are dreadful. The film as a whole is preposterous. And yet it has a cheesy good nature which makes it oddly appealing...