Pretty Good

An action-packed slog

A Major Disappointment

Blending excellent reporting and strong storytelling, this is a disturbing film truly stranger than fiction

Ridiculous movie, gets a "3" only because the production values are fairly good, considering the budget. But the script and direction are just terrible. Films like this follow a classic formula: a group of good-looking teenagers (typically including a sexy pair, an innocent pair, a stoner or two, and a misfit -in this case a "fat kid") find themselves trapped in a supernatural place (a castle, a cabin in the woods, a cavern, a forest)and mostly perish while trying to escape. If it's done well and with intelligence it's a good movie; done poorly the formula can produce a laughable stinker. IMPALER unfortunately falls in the latter category. Some of the objectionable points include 1) a story that makes no sense whatsoever and isn't even internally consistent: if the kids are being selected as sacrificial victims because of their individual sins- the film is quite explicit that the sexy girl is chosen for being promiscuous and the fat kid for being a glutton- then why are the good kids selected for sacrifice too? 2) laughable characterization, e.g. the fat kid -played by an actor who is actually in fairly good shape- cannot resist eating all the food he can find, even a meal he stumbles across in a dusty, vermin-infested old room. His obsession with stuffing his face is his only characteristic. Likewise the greedy kid can think only of money, etcetera, etcetera... 3) stupid details. The girls know they will be hiking for miles through a Romanian forest yet they strap high heels on their feet. There's a scene in which the good kid -or is it Vlad?- is running down the road accompanied by what I guess is a pair of wolves. It's supposed to be scary but it looks all the world like a college kid out jogging with two lovable puppies. And if Dom is supposed to be a descendant or reincarnation of Vlad -which is what I got out of it- then why did the other kid have the dream that lured them to Transylvania in the first place? Why is the Book of the Dragon written in English at the end? 4) undeveloped horror elements. The film doesn't bother to explain just who exactly are the creatures who kill the fat kid, or who are the shadowy figures often seen flitting around in the background. Where did the succubi who kill the sexy girl come from? And why exactly would Satan release Vlad from hell for killing the kids anyway? 5) Unfulfilled promises. Dracula doesn't appear as the traditional Dracula even though his name is in the title. Prince Vlad of Wallachia appears just once or twice, briefly. Nobody gets impaled in a movie called the Impaler. Two-thirds of the way through the film I was sitting there asking when something -anything- was going to happen. And it didn't get much better from there. With all the talent in the industry you'd think they could get a script doctor to add some clever dialogue or a few interesting plot points before releasing a film like this. At the very least the special effects and gore should be memorable. But The Impaler comes up short on all counts.

Ridiculously terrible movie. Horrible, obnoxious acting. Not scary at all. Extremely predictable. These ratings must have been written by the director, as no man in his right mind would enjoy this. I'm 99.9% positive the director created a number of fake accounts to skew the ratings. I wouldn't be so mad if I didn't pay $7.99 on on demand for this piece of junk. I feel like I was scammed, as there are no refunds for bad on demand movies. The director is 25 years old or something... And it shows. Bad story, bad acting, bad directing, and worst of all bad business. And I wouldn't have written so much about this movie but IMDb has a requirement of there being at least ten lines in a review, so I felt it was a necessary sacrifice in order to save others eight bucks!

I was pretty impressed with this new approach to the now so old Dracula story. This independent movie brings a very original undertone to the whole horror scene and the ending is quite something! I watched it at the movie theater and I must say that the twist blew my mind off! It's true, it does start with the typical scenario, where kids go somewhere in the world, for a vacation, about to experience the Dracula castle. But it is not what your regular horror film got us used to. It's a deeper story, with subtle references to rituals and sins and the acting, I thought, is pretty good. For an independent film, the execution is excellent.

I watched this film based on the External Reviews. I was hesitant but the reviews were all positive and I love GOOD horror films, but there are so many lousy ones made these days.So, I gave it a shot and I now wonder if they saw the same film I did! There is hardly anything to examining the story of Vlad, just an opening scene that was pretty poor. The rest of the film is the same stuff you see in so many horror films these days - a group of college kids visiting Vlad's castle with the same cast of characters you always see. Several attractive women, make sure you have a blonde in the group! The acting is wooden and pathetic, the "horror" is laughable and it couldn't end fast enough. I am really upset that I was duped again, either the reviewers' expectations are low already from the many poor movies out there or, need I say or suggest what the other option is. I promise myself to NOT be taken again and all I can say is the old adage - "let the buyer beware"!!!!