Wonderfully offbeat film!

Stylish but barely mediocre overall

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

Firstly let me say that this film can only ever flop dead outside of New Zealand. It's humour is directed at New Zealanders and only them so anyone from outside these islands will only be able to watch as all the jokes fly far over their heads.Unfortunately this film reaches too far in an attempt to combine an action with a horror/slasher film. As such it doesn't have enough action or gore to fully fit into either category and unfortunately the comedy is often sub par. While either plot could have been funny and successful singularly, there is not enough time inside 90 minutes to do them justice together.Temuera Morrison performs well, as per usual, and is surrounded by a cast of unknown kiwi actors, which is also usual for a purely NZ film, yet unfortunately even he cannot carry this entire movie to brilliance.I wish the cast and crew well and hope their next effort hits the mark spot on as this one was damned close.

There are so many jokes to be made with that title, that I'm sure you'll think of some pretty good ones yourself. And as the title suggest, you will be in the loop before one of our main characters is. So the viewer is ahead on a few things (also the "arriving"/"clash" is something you'll be expecting too), that the characters aren't.The movie will not be everyones taste (no other way to put that), but it is funny. Does it have flaws? Of course it has. But you would do the movie unjust to critique it because of it and you would hurt your own movie viewing experience by being to observing of those mistakes and flaws. Try to enjoy a fun little movie with a wicked sense of humor

Racing away to a 8.3/10 you can tell that reviewers are unbiased and informed in their opinion of films. I mean what a fantastic addition to New Zealand cinema. Not.Firstly respect to the filmmakers for the ballsiness of casting a slightly-too-old, definitely-not-hot-enough, white girl with a mousy mustache as the to-die-for, lesbian and, most significantly, Asian hit woman. WTF..? Clearly they wanted the kind of clichéd Anime femme fatale that runs around in ridiculous outfits designed for over-sexed 14 year old Japanese girls. You know like the hench-woman with the ball and chain in Kill Bill... You know, like a Tarantino film... Trouble is Tarantino is derivative pap anyway, so copying him recycling someone or something else is just lame. The film has about two good lines of dialogue which will probably (sadly, only) resonate with New Zealanders...Its a crass, clumsy film with lots of awful, clunky, sexual sight-gags and voyeurism that seem a little out of date for today. Confessions of a Window Washer or Alvin Purple era stuff... Two captive women having to untie each other by undoing each other's ropes with their mouths, while in a top-and-tail position - i.e 69ing. Obvious and cringe-worthy... there are many such moments where the intended audience reveals itself to be 14 year old males. There were some small charms but the characters, excepting the heroine (who was quite good), were all dull as hell. Morrison had a bit of fun in his role but it would have been nice if they had given him the chance to earn the alignment of the audience before revealing himself a crazy cannibal (who happens to be Maori). Instead he was a boring villain. There were no surprises and the film plodded along, apeing Tarantino as it went. The film IS clearly trying hard to do 'Tarantino': for example Mariachi music scores a gunfight during a prison escape (actual police, never mind the prison guards, don't carry firearms in this country.The son of Mr.Cannibal is probably the worst character in the film, there is no acting involved and he is just freaking dull. Apeing Mr.Blonde in Reservoir Dogs before he butchers people he puts his headphones on and has a boogie for the camera. This might have been 'cool' if he could dance or this wasn't done in Reservoir Dogs which these filmmakers really wish they had made. the actor is a flash in the pan with one music video out so this was clearly his music to film career cross over. It's shame he has no talent for music, dance, or acting... otherwise he'd be the total package.Missed opportunities abound. The dialogue is lazy. See it on $1 Tuesdays on DVD. Choice.

Fresh Meat is that rare beast that you never find elsewhere in New Zealand cinema: a film that unashamedly knows its purpose is to entertain, and thus spends 90 some minutes trying to blow our heads off doing that with a heady genre mix of action, horror, black comedy, pink hot pants and even lesbian school girls.From the opening frames- seeing a young Maori girl 'discovering' herself (and a female friend) in the shower you realise you're not in for your normal NZL film (you know… plodding… artsy… bleak… BORING AS HELL). The filmmakers seem to have their tongues firmly in cheek and want us to have a great ride. And we really do. The pacing is excellent: it's ferocious, and doesn't let up. It reminded me of a cross between Tarantino genre homages, Bound (the Waschowski brothers' lesbian crime romp), Wes Craven's Scream, and Once Were Warriors (but only if it was remade as a zombie film). It's a heist caper crossed with a black comedy crossed with a cannibal thriller, but to pin it down to any one genre feels limiting. The performances generally all work. However, Kate Elliott is amazing as the tough-as-nails bi- sexual co-leader of the Tan Gang, Gigi. She's hard, sexy, and talented enough to bring a great deal of heart and depth to a role in which a lesser actress would be at risk of being upstaged by those (admittedly, amazing) pink hot pants. Watching her kick ass for 90 straight minutes is worth the price of admission alone. Hanna Tevita is great also as Rina- the female protagonist at the heart of the film. Coming home from college, she discovers that her family are actually cannibals, yet before she has a moment to process this, she has to deal with a hostage drama in which she falls in love with her captor. Great stuff, and Tevita certainly provides the necessary eye candy. But it's Temuera Morrison that (almost) steals this film. Poking fun at his previous hard ass characters, Morrison finds the right line between deadpan comedy and all-out psychopathic rage. The scene where he interrogates Rina's love struck vegan suitor by making him eat testicles at the dinner table is seriously good, and funny as hell. Good to see Tem nailing it. Mulheron's grounding in comedy is on constant display. (The scene where the two girls are stuck in harnesses and try to 'eat' their way out is daftly brilliant.) Mulheron seems hell-bent on touching every overly PC nerve in our collective national consciousness (to have the words Maori and cannibalism in the same sentence is risqué enough, let alone making a film about it!) and it's this sense of manic, provocative energy that sets the tone throughout. Great to see a film that achieves exactly what it sets out to. It's an unashamedly fun popcorn movie which gave me a great night out at the cinema. Go and see this on the big screen with a beer and a big audience. Anyone who doesn't like this film should go home and watch the Piano on DVD and have a good cry instead.