Memorable, crazy movie

Lack of good storyline.

It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Horror Hospital is a campy exploitation classic that has to be seen to be believed. Heart-throb of the day, Robin Askwith, known for his "Confessions of..." series of softcore pseudo-comedy romps that spawned an endless series of imitations, matches wits with Michael Gough, the man better known for his roles as the butler Alfred in Tim Burton's Batman movies.How can you go wrong with a "hospital" advertising "hairy holidays" - apparently all they needed to do to attract legions of hippies - and then lobotomising said legions to create an army of braindead automatons? Marvel at the mad doctor's most lethal weapon, a Rolls Royce with a retractable blade in the side that never fails to decapitate runaway hippies, complete with a sack next to it to catch the severed heads. There is also an inexplicable steaming pool of acid on the hospital grounds, where one of the doctor's "army" of motorbike thugs - who never take their helmets off, perhaps to hide the fact that they are always played by the same two people - meets his end. Was there ever a pool of acid in a movie that someone didn't fall into?This one is great fun, and a must see for fans of campy '70s schlock horror.

Burned-out rock star Jason Jones (a solid and likable performance by a shaggy Robin Askwith) goes on vacation to a remote health hotel in the country where deranged mad scientist Dr. Christian Storm (legendary genre icon Michael Gough in sublimely sinister and sardonic form) is conducting pernicious experiments to create lobotomized zombies who are under his complete control. Director Antony Balch, who also co-wrote the wickedly witty script with Alan Watson, relates the blithely grotesque story at a steady pace, maintains a pleasingly campy tone throughout, makes excellent use of the verdant English countryside, ably milks a fiendishly funny sense of spot-on sick'n'twisted gallows humor (you gotta love the car equipped with the ghoulishly inventive decapitation device), and further spruces things up with a handy helping of graphic gore and a sizable mattering of tasty gratuitous female nudity. The cast have a ball with the playfully macabre material: the lovely Vanessa Shaw makes for an extremely fetching and appealing damsel in distress as the sweet Judy Peters, Ellen Pollock cuts a suitably stern figure as the formidable Aunt Harris, Kurt Christian registers well as the stalwart Abraham, Dennis Price contributes a funny turn as slimy travel agent Mr. Pollack, and Skip Martin almost steals the whole show with his wonderfully engaging and hilarious portrayal of Storm's bumbling and browbeaten servant Frederick. Better still, Balch has good cheeky fun mocking such tried'n'true fright flick clichés as the creepy old house, an ominous thunderstorm, and the inevitable fiery conclusion. David McDonald's vibrant cinematography provides an appropriately lurid look. De Wolfe's robust barnstorming score hits the stirring shivery spot. An absolute kitschy hoot.

In Britain between the rise of Hammer Horror films, sometime around 1958 and the release of their version of 'Dracula', and the early/mid 1970's there were scores of cheep horror films released. These can, I believe, be placed into one of three categories, Low Budget Classic (ie the aforementioned 'Dracula', its stablemate of the same period 'Frankenstein', 'The Pit and The Pendulum' etc), Cult Films like 'Circus of Horrors', 'Scream and Scream Again' etc, and the outright awful! Guess which category I would place 'Horror Hospital'?! This film is simply ludicrous, far too illogical, even within the world it has created for itself, and so poorly put together that it gets nowhere near being a LBC, and falls so short of being a Cult that it is laughable.I am aware that it is difficult to view any horror film of any age by modern day standards, the genre has moved on so rapidly, and become so much more graphic, but even by comparing this film to its contemporaries it falls well short of any real horror and scares. Today it is about as scary as a wet weekend in Weston-Super-Mare (for non-Brits that is a seaside town in the west of England that is mainly populated by the over 60's!, a British equivalent of, say, Atlantic City!). The concept of a Health Farm - not even a proper hospital note! (the makers had to squeeze in a line of dialogue to justify the title!) - being used for experimentation on the feckless youth of the day - young people who, of course, no one will notice have gone missing (don't these kids have parents?) and turned into "zombies" (although as "zombies" I would have thought that Dr Storm would have found better things to use them for beyond that of acrobatics!) is beyond belief. To go into all the plot holes would take all day, but I have one question, why do all the thugs wear leathers and crash helmets all the time, even when in doors? (Apart, of course, to disguise the fact that at least one is a woman! When was the last time you saw a male thug clearly wearing lipstick?!) The one really big question about this mess of a film is this, just how did talented people like Michael Gough, Ellen Pollock and, most notably, Dennis Price, became embroiled in such rubbish? Wait... I have thought of one redeeming feature, albeit a personal one! Over the past few years I have become friends with a Mr Robert Dearberg. Guess who was the editor on this mess? Yep, my old mate Bob Dearberg, the one and same person! We spend a lot of time discussing the merits of this film, that movie etc, and often disagree. The next time Bob slags off a film I have enjoyed I can look him in the eyes and say just two words.. "Horror Hospital"...!

Thanks to the advent of DVD creators who see a buck in putting classics such as Horror Hospital on disc we are fortunate not to loose such a gem. The movie has everything. Mad doctor (in a wheelchair) person of small stature as assistant. Hard-faced matron who is in love with the good doctor, Sex, groovy chicks and guys, a rock band and a beautiful Gothic Mansion, that any true horror buff would love to reside in. So young guy Jason ripped off by his band and to add insult to injury gets his nose broken in the process, is told by his friends that a holiday would be just the shot. Pan to Hairy Holidays (I don't remember ads in papers being that amateurish) so off he trots. Meets Price who has a thing for young boys (but not thing enough to steer young Jason away from his next adventure) and off he goes to the Manor sans luggage. On the train he meets a charming young girl eating her meat paste sandwiches and after a decent amount of chat-up. Off they trot to the Manor. The stationmaster informs the Manor and they are picked up by 2 useful people in black leather gear and helmets (in the days before helmets where compulsory, and people rarely wore them) Now these 2 helmet wearing leather clad 'dudes' come in very useful and tend to have the ability to be in several places at once (check the credits out) So the Mad scientist and assistant have just decapitated 2 escapees with a very sharp blade that appears out the side of the car.(How it manages to be at the correct height to do this on every individual I don't quite understand...but hey!) Now Jason and his girl have become lovers as in such a huge mansion there is only one room available and they will have to share. Shining moments for me are the little persons eye acting, and the first visit to the dining room where white-faced zombiesque young people with visible scars sit sans conversation, sans motion, sans brain function and the two new residents find it only a little odd. Oh and back to the biker 'dudes' they fight, they get killed they appear out of everywhere and keep on keeping on (again see credits) The movie has some laugh out loud moments and I truly enjoyed it as you can watch it again and again. So for those interested see a naked girl and a shirtless guy. See a film regarding Dr's experiments where the light just does not hide the guys genitals. See a film with lots of horror, laughter and substance. A fun way to spend an evening. Pass the wine friend.