As Good As It Gets

Absolutely Fantastic

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

Despite the low rating, this is a must for fans of low-rent cinema of the 1940s. It stars Peter Lorre seemingly doing a spoof of himself. This is the period just before he started to bloat — I imagine just after the Mr. Moto franchise left him without a steady gig. It also features — wait for it — Charles Middleton, aka Ming the Merciless, in a grubby career-ending part as the island's whip master. This is a bigger part than you might imagine, since the only activity on the island seems to be whipping, the object of which is to get a bunch of extras to rat on other extras who may be talking to the Department of Justice about the evil activities taking place on the island — basically, a lot of whipping. Filmed on a shoe-string budget that makes Monogram's most dismal releases look like Cecil B. Demille productions, this corker of a film may be best viewed under the influence of your favorite intoxicant. Without that spiritual aid, you probably won't be able to suffer past the opening, where a secret agent applies for a job in the Department of Justice, which seems to be located in a set originally created for an SRO hotel. Good luck, movie fans!

Island of Doomed Men is directed by Charles Barton, written by Robert D. Andrews and features cinematography by Benjamin Kline. It stars Peter Lorre, Rochelle Hudson and Robert Wilcox. Federal agent Mark Sheldon (Wilcox), by a strange quirk of fate, is framed for murder and sentenced to serve time on the Pacific Island penal colony he was to investigate anyway! Once there he finds harsh conditions and the camp run by a sadistic task master named Stephen Danel (Lorre). Catching the eye and befriending Danel's beautiful wife, Lorraine (Hudson), herself a prisoner of Danel's tyrannical behaviour, Sheldon knows he must act quick if he is to survive the Island of Doomed Men!Neither good nor bad, Barton's film is standard fare that features strong themes fighting to impact during the relatively short running time (just under 70 minutes). Much of it is a sweaty prison drama driven by Lorre doing another one of his insane antagonist portrayals. Within the narrative is sadism, spouse and animal abuse, bondage and corruption of power, but these are just shards of potency in an otherwise very talky piece. Performances around Lorre are adequate and Barton and Kline have a decent eye for mood via the black and white photography. Not very memorable and not nearly as throat grabbing as thematics suggest it could have been, but enjoyable while it's on and certainly one for Lorre completists. 6/10

The basic story of Island of Doomed Men seems to be based on the true story of Narvassa Island. The main difference was in real life, the men were mining guano, not diamonds and they were black contract workers from the Balitmore area, not paroled convicts. Like in the movie, the men were treated brutally like slaves. This eventually led to an uprising with several of the overseers murdered. Some of the black workers were then put on trial for murder but when the true story of what was allowed to occur was publicized, they were pardoned by President Harrison. Narvassa Island, located between Cuba and Haiti, was designated a wildlife refuge in the 1990s.

This B movie is shown on Turner Classic Movies, it's about as bad as it gets without being a Monogram release so you know it's pretty bad. Actually it's worse than watching a Monogram release as this being a Columbia picture, it has decent production values so there is that much less to laugh about. The Comcast mini summary lists this as one of Peter Lorre's most sinister roles where he rules a penal colony on an island. My thought's turned to the Charles Laughton movie, "Island Of Lost Souls" and it just dawned on me that this movies title is a total rip off of that movies title, lol. Anyway where that movie had true suspense and horror for our captives, here it's strictly nonsensical. Add on to that that it's really boring with the values code in full effect and the only thing left is to make fun of the suggestive lines involving the monkey and Lorre's wife, not nearly enough to make this worth watching except for the most hard core B movie fans out there. So here are my gripes, first and foremost, that theme music playing loudly over and over and over, it's the same kind that you find in a serial and it's rhythm will really agitate you after 15 minutes, here you get it for at least 45 minutes in the background. Next is a total waste of the character actor who did Ming The Merciless, I guess many of his roles were like this, but man he would have been a great evil character if this had been done right. The female lead is a non looker who I think was in some 3 Stooges shorts (it is a Columbia release and the Doc was also in 3 Stooges shorts), so the female lead doesn't bring much in the way of eye candy either. I laughed when in the beginning the hero got 1 to 20 for murder, this being 1940! I doubt that people got one year for that offense. I was saying to myself now lets see, he frees everyone there and gets rescued and then he's going to go back to jail because he's on parole, it's just way too stupid, must have been made for kids. I'll be generous and give it a 5 of 10 for when Lorre shot's the monkey, that was pretty funny, extremely predictable but funny.